More Absurd & Expensive Christmas Gift Ideas
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on November 26, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Friday, November 26th, 2010Eventually, those spoiled and entitled little brats you see at FAO Schwarz grow up. And become spoiled and entitled ADULTS. Here are some expensive holiday gifts for the person who has everything. But wants more.
or Amazon’s Cyber Monday specials like everybody else, we thought we’d focus on gifts for people that really matter, i.e.: people with seemingly limitless disposable income. We already covered some gift ideas for their precious little snowflakes, but eventually, whiny entitled children will grow up, and become whiny entitled adults. Which is why in this roundup, we’re featuring items like the 3 Carat Diamond Pacifier
Black Friday, And Ten Other Things I’m Thankful For
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on November 24, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, November 24th, 2010Let’s try to remember that there’s more to life than shopping. But first, let’s do some shopping.
So, it’s Thanksgiving. For many of us, a time to give thanks for what we have, and experience the joy of copious amounts of meat and side dishes with loved ones. But for probably just as many of us, a day to avoid the psychodrama of family gatherings by playing dumb turkey and Santa themed Flash games, or more importantly, to SHOP. Yes, probably the most important thing about Thanksgiving is that it’s a reminder that it’s one day before Black Friday and three days ’til Cyber Monday on Amazon, or that there are still over 13 million songs you haven’t bought on iTunes,and that Christmas is only 30 days away. This year, I’m thankful for many things, a few of which I’ll share below. But on behalf of Dissociated Press, I want to thank YOU for visiting, and supporting our advertisers. Although the site is far from profitable, it’s finally making money, and maybe next year I can be giving thanks for an actual salary! Until then, I’ll keep trying to serve up amusing turkey recipes, offbeat Christmas shopping ideas, and the general hokum, hooey, and horsefeathers that we call “content” around here. Below are a few of the things I’m most thankful for. What about you? What are YOU thankful for? Read the rest of this entry »
More Alternative Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe Ideas
[ Comments Off ]Posted on November 9, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Tuesday, November 9th, 2010People gobbled up our last feature on weird ideas for Thanksgiving recipes, so we’re back to let you know that you can have your cake and meat it too.
  As a health precaution, a turkey chef should always wear the appropriate head gear as well. |
Thanksgiving, as we all know, is a day of family, feasting, joy, celebration and thanks. Unless you’re a turkey, of course. I don’t know why we have it in so bad for flightless birds. Years ago, when KFC’s slogan was “We Do Chicken Right”, they opened a new location in San Francisco, and while the sidewalk cement was still wet, a friend of mine engraved it with “You done them chickens wrong“. Which kind of sums it up. Our national guilt about the annual turkey slaughter runs so deep that the president is obligated to pardon one each year. But that doesn’t stop us from turning them into lowfat cat food
5 Weird Alternative Thanksgiving Turkey Recipes
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on November 1, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Monday, November 1st, 2010Stuffing a quail inside a chicken inside a turkey inside a goose lined with bacon is soooo 2009. Here are a few alternative turkey recipes for Thanksgiving 2010.
 This hardly qualifies as a recipe, but it’s an obligatory image for lists like this. |
I don’t know if anyone really knows how turkey became the traditional Thanksgiving dinner meat in America. My guess is that it’s either because the bird presents such a large target when hunting, or it was revenge for all the humans that had been maimed in wild turkey attacks. Whatever the reason, we’re stuck with it. But if you’re looking for an alternative, you’re in luck. Thankfully, we’ve seen some turkey innovation in the last few years; we’ve all heard of the deep-fried turkey, and perhaps you’ve heard of Turducken. However, an impasse was reached a couple of years ago with that meat-stuffed-meat-stuffed-meat idea with the Bacon Turgooduccochiqua. The only way to go from there would be to put live Ortolan in the quail and stuff the whole thing in a goat, and that’s where I draw the line. So I thought we’d look into some new alternative Thanksgiving turkey recipes this year. We’ve rounded up a few below. Feel free to share any other weird turkey ideas we missed. Read the rest of this entry »
15 Most Offensive Halloween Costumes For 2010
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 2, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Saturday, October 2nd, 2010Stuck for a costume idea this year? Let Amazon help with a bunch of tasteless costumes mostly based on sexual organs. Maybe do a “His & Hers” thing. But if you’re already a dickhead, this list won’t help much.
  Admittedly, in some parts of America this one wouldn’t be offensive, it would be a typical way to spend Saturday night. |
I like to think of Halloween as a fairly light-hearted affair; a time to either just get silly, or for the more repressed amongst us, to live out our secret selves. The latter probably being a good explanation for why so many supposedly straight men seem to get so enthused about dressing up in drag. My tradition tends to be to think up all sorts of great costumes well ahead of time, forget to create them, and then improvise at the last minute. One year this resulted in my putting on a black turtleneck, black pants, and attaching socks and underwear all over to go as “Static Cling”. If you’re ever in a last minute jam, remember – you can always grab some ping pong balls, shave your head, and go as Homer Simpson. But unfortunately, in these tense, post-politically correct times, some people have to take everything seriously. Last year’s controversy about this offensive “illegal alien” costume