If the buzz is true, Mercedes Benz intends to offer a petroleum-free product line by 2015. Apparently, they’re already making considerable investments to head in this direction. A daring commitment like this should be an inspiration to other manufacturers, and would be quite fitting, since it was Karl Benz who is generally credited with producing the world’s first gasoline-powered auto. The idea of a silent Mercedes reminds of a bit of humor: As a waiter some years ago, I was serving a British couple who were having dinner with a German gentleman. Throughout the dinner the German fellow - who was in town on business with the recently merged Daimler/Chrysler - kept saying things about “Daimler this” and “Daimler that”. Finally the British woman said: “I’m sorry, isn’t the new company called ‘Daimler Chrysler’?” to which the German fellow replied: “I’m afraid the ‘Chrysler’ is silent”. In any case, if an electric Mercedes of the future looks anything like the hybrid F700 pictured here, count me in. This could just be some viral PR; as of this writing there are no official releases from Mercedes Benz, just a lot of industry buzz.

Hard to believe that the same Robert Novak who (drunkenly?) stormed off the set of CNN’s Inside Politics (video link) and who played a key role in the Valerie Plame scandal has written a piece about how Obamacons are threatening the McCain campaign. Thank you Bob, you’ve given me another opportunity to plug Obamamania!: The English Language, Barackafied. Former Bushie-turned-Obamacon Larry Hunter should be selected as Obama’s honorary campaign director for being on record as saying “The Republican Party is a dead rotting carcass with a few decrepit old leaders stumbling around like zombies in a horror version of ‘Weekend With Bernie,’ handcuffed to a corpse.”

More Obamemes…

Baracksploitation:
The practice among editors of putting only Barack Obama on the cover of their magazines.
Obama Self:
A tear-jerking cover of Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself” said to be recorded by Celine Dion and only released in the event Obama fails to receive the nomination.

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The temptation to make jokes about how I’ve never met a punk band member who wasn’t differently-abled or worthy of a term like “punktard” (hey, did I just coin a phrase?) is overwhelming, but I’m too grown up and what these guys are doing is just too cool. Meet Heavy Load, “Brighton’s Answer to the Ramones” (their words). These guys are on a “mission to demonstrate that disability rocks”. Learn more about them at HeavyLoad.org. There’s also a movie being made about them, and they’re running Stay Up Late, “A campaign for people with learning disabilities…fighting for the right to party!” Being a gimp has never been so hip. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Differently-Abled Brother.

When I was a young first-generation punk, we cut ourselves because we meant it. Good news for all you peer-pressured, conformist emo rebels though. Now you can get some decorative branding to hide all the little disposable-razor cries-for-help that you posted on MySpace (actually it was Xanga, but only you and your silly Emo friends know what Xanga is). Comfortably enter the already tattoo-friendly youth job market with lovely Carp (oh, I’m sorry, “Koi”…) skin branding that hides your wimpy suicide attempts. For the blind self-cutter, there are always braille tattoos. But this obviously begs the question: Why would you want a tattoo if you couldn’t see it?

The rich man we used to love to hate, Bill Gates, is leaving Microsoft today. Although I’ve often cursed Bill for the daily headache otherwise known as Microsoft Windows, I got a little reminder that the the Indians are sometimes more responsible for things than the Chiefs. Check out this e-mail, wherein Bill chews his staff a new one over the frustrations he experienced trying to download Windows MovieMaker. My favorite bit is probably where he says: “So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying - where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist? So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated”. So long Bill, I’ll always remember you as the nerdy guy who got busted for speeding (see mugshot, left). Keep up the (presumably) good foundation work, and if you ever need someone to watch the house, just let me know.

Welcome to your creepy robot future. The ACM-R5 Amphibious Robot Snake pictured here is not a CG effect created for the next Alien movie, it’s an actual robotic snake. I have no idea why one would want a robot snake, amphibious or otherwise, but there you have it. To fully experience its creepiness though, you really have to watch this video on YouTube. For more robot creepiness, check out Boston Dynamics’ BIGDOG (YouTube link). It looks uncannily like the legs of two Cirque du Soleil dancers have been amputated and then grafted onto a large, motorized duffle bag. Slightly less creepy, but still managing an Uncanny Valley Quotient of 9 out of 10, is this Japanese Robo-Girl (YouTube link). If you’re not familiar with the term, learn more about the Uncanny Valley here.

Jimmy Carter had a stupid brother. Bill Clinton had a stupid brother. George Bush probably IS the stupid brother (in that photo at left, the Dalai Lama is showing him where normal people’s moral standards are). But who’d have guessed that the Dalai Lama has one? Okay. I don’t know if he’s stupid, but things that he says are definitely a little “un-Dalai-Lama-like”.

Example:

Interviewer: At a young age, you, too, were recognized as a reincarnate of an important man, right? Tendzin Choegyal: Oh, that’s bullshit. I don’t believe it.

The interview is worth reading just to hear his take on Steven Seagal. By the way, don’t tell my brothers you read this; I’ll have some explaining to do…

In the ongoing saga of the RIAA just not getting it, they are apparently tired of suing old ladies who don’t even have computers and dead people and are now trying to kill their oldest and most reliable channel of cheap promotion, radio. Although the recording industry historically was quite happy to pay the broadcasting industry to play music (illegally, in fact - it was called payola), they now seem to think it should be the other way around. Click on the image at left for a detailed flow chart of how the RIAA decides whom to sue.

Barack Obama is asking donors to help Hillary with her debt. Now hold on a minute. If she had just freakin’ dropped out of the race instead of serving up her perpetual encore performance of Hillary the Undead, would she even be in debt? And besides, isn’t half the debt a result of money she loaned to herself? Go ahead suckers. Here’s your “Donate” link. But be aware that the reason she’s laughing so hard in that picture on the left is because she’s on the way to the bank. Frankly, I think it would be a much better use of your money to donate it to someone like me who could actually use it though. So here’s a way for you to donate to my “I Need Money More Than Hillary Fund”. Just click the PayPal button below. I’m serious.

I’ve always been a bit of a magazine fetishist. Over the years, some favorites have included rags like The Face, I.D., i-D, Wired, Surface, and many more. Lately I like Radar. Although they got a little too fanboy/fangirlish sometimes, they present some pretty amusing skews on pop media. All of our magazine content frustrations are now over, though, thanks to MagCloud. If you can create a PDF and setup a PayPal account, you can start a magazine. They take care of the printing, mailing, and subscription management. The profit model is based on the same idea as services like CafePress. You design the product and (over)price it, they manufacture, bill, and ship. Pretty cool. They’re still in Beta, but don’t be surprised to find a print version of Dissociated Press for sale soon. (more…)