The first time you see & hear South Africa’s Die Antwoord , you might think to yourself something like “Wow, America really hasn’t cornered the market on white trash wiggerdom, has it?” But that would not only be a choice of words that many would find offensive, it would be horribly inaccurate as well. The fact is, I’m not sure there are words to describe the band. They sort of look like someone traveled to the future and dragged Vanilla Ice from the geriatric ward, paired him with Pink’s abandoned trailer child, and then stuck them out in the Cape Town slums to fend for themselves. Or like extras living on the fringe of the alien ghetto in District 9. However one chooses to describe them, they manage to pull off a sort of punk/rap vibe with a weird mixture of contrivance and authenticity reminiscent of the Sex Pistols. Sure, it sort of knows it’s camp, but it’s genuinely good camp, so it works. Or do they really mean it? It’s hard to tell. The band is fronted by “Ninja” (aka “Watkin ‘Waddy’ Tudor Jones” aka “Max Normal”) and Yo-Landi (Yolandi Visser), both former members of Max Normal.TV, and in the press so far, they’re not letting on if it’s meant to be a joke or turned out that way by accident. My hunch is that in spite of their sudden and unexpected Internet Fame, that there’s some method to the madness. The production values are pretty high, punk-mulletted rapper chick Yolandi Visser is - in spite of a brilliantly crafted image to the contrary - an educated college hottie, and Ninja has been around for a while in the Cape Town Afrikaan “Zef” scene that this all seems to bank on for its cred. If your Afrikaan is as rusty as mine, there are sites that explore Zef slang and culture, and if you were wondering, the band’s name means “The Answer”. Which leaves one a little disturbed about what the question must’ve been. (more…)

This example uses $100 bills

It’s time once again for people like you and me to have their heads spun by the incomprehensible numbers that are the US Budget. Personally, ever since I learned about fictitious capital, I’ve had a hard time understanding why the government expects us to pay OUR bills, when THEY operate at a deficit almost all the time. Short of a revolution though, not much can be done about that, so let’s just try to understand the numbers. There are two ways to look at numbers like this. One is to just look at them, and say “Wow. Those are some really big numbers.” The New York Times has a great interactive for doing just that. You can also try to visualize the numbers, as in the graphic at left, which was assembled from the larger images here. We explored this in more detail last year. You can also do what politicians do, and talk about the numbers in ways that sound good but make no sense in reality. That’s what the GOP has been doing for a while, largely with the help of Frank Luntz. Frank Luntz is the guy that was largely instrumental in the success of the GOP over the past decade, through their implementation of his GOP Playbook. If you’ve never given it a look, you should, because it was his language - refined through dial groups and other marketing-style research - that allowed the previous administration to rack up the hugest deficits in history, while making you think they were frugal conservatives. Now that the previous administration has trashed the economy, saying goodbye on the way out with Bush nationalizing the banks and essentially destroying American capitalism as we knew it, it’s time to make it look like it’s all Obama’s fault. And Frank is back, with the words to do it. He’s penned the new talking points in a memo called Language of Financial Reform. That’s a link to the full document, which is also embedded and excerpted below. (more…)

Can you really call it “salad” when it has a jar of mayonnaise in it?

For better or worse, Superbowl Sunday is upon us once again. I have to admit that I fall in the “worse” camp; as I mentioned last year, I find watching the Superbowl about as appealing as eating Ortolan. The last time I really enjoyed the event was in 2006, when I made a few hundred dollars selling “XL” imprinted t-shirts and mugs. Always the opportunist, it occurred to me well ahead of time that it’s hard to try and lay exclusive rights to Roman numerals. However, there are a couple of things peripherally related to the game that continue to fascinate me. One is the fact that it’s a time when football fans - who have otherwise been known to pierce drywall with TV remotes because of badly timed commercials - are actually interested in watching them. And although I personally don’t watch TV myself, I’m something of a TV commercial junky. So here, for your enjoyment and mine, is the largest collection of Superbowl commercials in the world. If you can get a connection, that is. Adland.TV’s server was having trouble as of this writing. Why are you trying to watch TV on the Internet anyway? Don’t you have a TV? Anyway, I think they’re lying; you can also try Superbowl-Commercials.org. THEY have 49 years worth, they just make you click through 10 pages to get to each one. So what’s the other thing that fascinates me? The seven layer dip. Yes, there’s a Wikipedia page. I’ve never had it, and I remain - after three years of research - unsure as to what defines it, aside from the fact that well, it has seven layers. So I have a few thoughts on the topic below, but please, feel free to chime in if you have some useful facts or a decent recipe that doesn’t involve mayonnaise, a can of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup, or canned “black olives”. (more…)

I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that this one only works for Tibetans

It’s interesting that thanks to the self help industry we have so many books at our disposal that tell us how to live, but scant few on how to die. Sure, there’s a plethora of paperbacks devoted to grieving, loss, and dying, but that’s still about how to live, albeit while watching someone else die. A quick Google search of the phrase “how to die” turns up the Deathclock and a bunch of tips on suicide, but even suicide is a conscious act of the living, not a process of dying. You also find things like the book How to Die in the Outdoors: 100 Interesting Ways, and New Scientists’ How Does it Feel to Die? Again, not very useful if you just want to die well. There is of course The Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I’ve always had a hunch it only works for Tibetans. And there’s always religion in general, which is a proven and reliable way to prepare you for the life after this one. Oh. There we go again. A guide for living. So how does one go about dying? This topic has been very much on my heart and head for a while now, ever since about a two months ago, when my mom entered what may very well be her last days. It started with a negligent act on the part of the health care facility she was in, which is another topic altogether. I will very likely become a health care activist as result of the experience. But what this whole experience has also brought to my attention is the odd fact that neither of my parents seemed to have had an understanding of how to die well. I’ve experienced death firsthand many more times than most people who aren’t in either the military or a medical profession. Quite a lot, and at an early age. I’m thankful for that; it’s given me a strong set of beliefs that helps me deal with a lot of other things in life, and helps me help others when they experience the loss of a loved one or experience trauma. When I think about my own death though, I hope that I’m able to face this “final event” with dignity, and that I can avoid a medically prolonged life of drugged suffering. And I hope those around me who are meant to be of support as I die “get it”. My poor mother, a devout Catholic, was visited by one of the priests (more…)

I have to admit that as much as I love film (and I DO love film, with a passion), there’s still a level of film fetishism that I don’t really grasp. Sure, I’ve watched Blade Runner over 200 times, but who in their right mind hasn’t? No, I have to draw the line at things like dressing up as a character from a film. At least when it’s not Halloween. Which is why I’ll never understand the legions of Star Wars Storm Troopers that convene on a regular basis, in full battle regalia, and at their own considerable expense. Or the people who maintain Wookieepedia. Or people that create web sites that tell you the best times to pee during a film. At the same time, I have to admire the dedication this kind of thing requires, especially in the case of the people behind a project like The People vs. George Lucas, the new documentary about the poor souls whose lives were destroyed by the numerous changes Lucas made to the original Star Wars Trilogy on re-release. The producers of the film put it this way: “The People vs. George Lucas explores the titanic struggle between a Godlike filmmaker and his legions of fans over the most popular franchise in movie history. At its core, PvsG is the examination of a high-profile, dysfunctional love story. George created this humongous and intricate sandbox for us to play in; but is he the sole owner of it, or does it now belong to the ages? And what happens to your role as a creator when your audience claims it owns your art? We basically looked at the conflicted dynamic between George and his fans from a cultural perspective, and asked ourselves those questions.” Although I’ve yet to see the film, I think a simpler assessment may be in order. Maybe it’s just a bunch of web-enabled misanthropic fanboys venting the rage that used to be confined to their smelly bedrooms, but which - thanks to the power of crowdsourcing - must now be endured by the entire world. I jest of course; it promises to be an amusing film, and makes its debut at SXSW 2010 the week of March 12. See the teasers above left and below. (more…)

If you’re the sort of person who thinks of Microsoft as The Evil One, you haven’t really followed what Google and Apple have been up to lately. And if you think that tablet devices don’t have a big future you’re probably also fortunate that you don’t have investment dollars either, because you’d be kicking yourself down the road for the opportunities you missed. Yes, the tablet wars are on. Steve Ballmer rushed the announcement of the HP/Windows Slate to beat Steve Jobs recent unveiling of the iPad. And hot on the tails of Jobs’ announcement, Google released a rather feeble concept video of their Chrome Operating System in use on an imaginary tablet device (images here). And then of course there’s the lawsuit against the Indian company that allegedly stole the CrunchPad and renamed it the JooJoo. But what’s really going to be interesting about how this all plays out is that it’s not about the devices per se, it’s about who controls how you do what you do, and all the big players know this. Yes, Apple kicked Adobe in the face over flash, but in a way, who cares? Flash has been a crashmonster since its inception. What’s really at stake here is how you get on the web, where you buy things, and how you do your business. And Apple’s closed system on the iPad is geared toward this end. Google already has search pretty well locked down, and they additionally want you phoning and creating all your office documents through tools like the Google Phone, Google Voice, Google Docs, and G-Mail. Imagine a future in which the coolest new device doesn’t play nice with the coolest new tools you want to use on it. And if you can’t even install your own software, because it’s all located on a remote server that you have no contorl over. And to take “Evil” to a new level in this realm, now that Apple makes their own chips for their exclusionary device, they’re essentially like Intel and Microsoft rolled into one. Adding a little irony to all of this is the fact that Apple is talking to Microsoft about replacing Google on the iPhone with Bing. Who is your evil nemesis now? (more…)

What do 19th century Finnish villagers, 21st century nerds, dancing donkey girls, and Darth Vader have in common? Well, the “Ievan Polkka”, of course. We’ve touched on Internet memes before, but one that somehow escaped our attention was the Loituma Girl and the Finnish band Loituma’s version (clip below) of the Ievan Polkka. Our apologies in advance for the earworm infection you’re likely to contract if you actually watch these clips, you may need the aural equivalent of eye bleach when you’re done. We recommend something a little easier on the brain, like “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”. So what’s this all about? Well, it started innocently enough, with a catchy Finnish folk song. The haunting and bittersweet kind you write when it’s dark all the time because you live in the arctic circle, and with gibberish words in the lyrics so you can still sing it when you’re bombed on vodka. Fast forward a couple hundred years. A Finnish pop band called “Loituma” does a catchy version of it that becomes an international hit. Then - as is inevitable when Finnish pop bands have international hits based on 200 year old polkas - a Swedish DJ named Basshunter does a really bad rave remix of the tune. From there the history gets a little muddled, but like many Internet memes, it basically boils down to a question of whether you’re the kind of person who would say “Yes, I absolutely understand the humor in a female Japanese cartoon character spinning a leek while a Finnish polka plays” or the kind of person who would say “Wow. I really don’t see the humor in a female Japanese cartoon character spinning a leek while a Finnish polka plays“. From there, much like the Crazy Frog (strangely, also a Swedish creation) the meme took on a life of its own, so we end up with the song set to everything from the original “Loituma Girl” swinging her leek to Darth Vader swinging a light saber (Flash). And thanks to Internet Rule 34, there are hundreds of pornographic versions as well. For a slightly NSFW version (it’s a Hentai character shaking her breasts in a sheer top) see the Hentai Ievan Polkka (Flash). And if you want to watch the time pass as you listen to the tune 24 hours a day, there’s even a Loituma Girl Clock. We’ve rounded up a few of the more popular renditions below, let us know if we’ve missed anything important. (more…)