For some, this is not only the first work day of the week, it’s the first work day of the year. In our ongoing effort to prevent Monday from happening, let’s start with an annoyingly simple yet challenging short-term memory test, Beer Caps. Gave me a headache. Let me know if there’s some reward at the end. I spend most of my life trying to forget things, and here a game asks me to remember things. Moving on: in the tradition of Karoshi Suicide Salaryman (previously mentioned as a Christmas Eve Demotivator) Comedy Central’s Adult Swim brings you Five Minutes To Kill (Yourself). Hopefully you have more than five minutes, because it takes about that long to load, and another five to realize the arrow controls are a little counter-intuitive. And speaking of slow load times, some of you will appreciate the Dial Up Kid. Yes. That thing he’s doing is all he does. Double irony: if you’re on dial-up, you might not find it so funny after it finally loads. And here’s your positive thought for the day: The year is already 1/73 over!

Unless You’d Like To Spend Forty Bucks On A Commemorative Egg

I feel pretty confident somehow that we’ll see fewer eggs being tossed around  in DC this January 20 than we did in 2001 (although strangely, you can buy a Russian-made innaugural egg pendant to commemorate the event). In spite of an expected record turnout, so far the greatest security concern seems to be whether or not there’ll be enough porta potties to go around. Like the old saying goes: If you have a party and this many people come, you better make sure they have some place to “go”. That’s why someone has already put together the handy guide Where To Pee in DC. For those of you who are lucky enough to have a ticket, a friendly reminder: no firearms, ammunition (real or simulated), or explosives are allowed. And on that note, unless you already do have a ticket, you probably won’t. Unless you have an extra $40,000 to throw around that is. Otherwise the only two hot news items regarding the inauguration seem to be which bible passage Obama will emphasize as he uses the Abe Lincoln bible to be sworn in, and how the hell Rick Warren got inauguration tickets.

Looks Like They Know How To Party in Sydney!

In the words of F.M. Knowles: “He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool”. But don’t let that stop you. Although widely acknowledged that New Year’s resolutions are a foolish idea and doomed to fail, there’s even software to help you manage them (or more likely, document their failure). And if you need help selecting a resolution, here’s a handy list of suggestions, with photos. Though I don’t have any big resolutions myself, I do have some thoughts on the new year here. However, I’d love to hear what YOUR plans, resolutions, hopes, and predictions are for 2009. Feel free to add a comment. And for those of you who only pop by here for the Flash games, here’s one that will go easy on your hangover: Choppa Poppa. Mostly you just pop balloons with a toy helicopter. Batteries not included, and brain cells not required.

Would You Trust This Man For Spiritual Guidance?

You know that old rule about how you shouldn’t discuss religion, politics, or sex in polite company? Well thank God the Internet is hardly what you’d call polite company, or I wouldn’t have much to talk about. For awhile now, I’ve found myself a little irritated by some of the more rabid atheists in the public eye (at least one of whom seemingly can’t be mentioned without mentioning his excessive drinking). I’ve always been aware that one of the reasons for my joy in goading atheists into a debate was that if they truly held that the foundations of their belief were logic, their side of the argument was doomed at the outset. Agnosticism is one of the predictable results of applying reason to the topic of God, but to attempt to proclaim the absolute non-existence of something is absurd. Much like saying humans have never been to the moon simply because you haven’t. This idea gets summed up nicely in the compelling book Cosmos and Psyche in a few passages where the author points out that in the final attempt to remove all projected beliefs about the universe, one is ironically forced into what is perhaps the (more…)

One of my favorite films of all time is also probably one of the most overlooked: Wim Wenders’ Until The End of the World. Released in 1991, and set in 1999, it tells a multi-layered tale about a novelist (Eugene Fitzpatrick, played by Sam Neill) who follows his dreamy and spontaneous wife (Claire Tourneur, played by Solveig Dommartin) around the world as she chases a mysterious man (Sam Farber, alias Trevor McPhee - William Hurt) from country to country, finally ending up in Australia, where she discovers that he is the son of an American scientist who has developed a special camera that will enable the blind to see. As a backdrop to all of this, the world is wondering if America will shoot down a failing Indian nuclear satellite. All of which gives the impression that this is a Sci-Fi film. Which it is, in part, utilizing some very well-executed realistic-future sets and props. But more importantly, it’s a poetic tale of pursuing your dreams, understanding the connectedness of things, and one of the quickest tours of multi-cultural quirks ever captured on film. So why am I writing about this film now? Because a friend just gave me their 3-Disc PAL format DVD version. Part of the reason for the film’s original weak performance in the states was the fact that it was 160 minutes long, which is ironic, because the actual complete version on this disc is 280 minutes, in three parts. The original release was beautiful, but this even more beautiful-er. The additional footage smooths some minor bumps in the rhythm of the original release, and the breaks are perfectly timed for the plot points. It’s almost like watching an epic mini-series. Even if you never check out this film, check out the soundtrack, which in typical Wim Wenders fashion is an incredibly diverse and listenable mix including Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Patti Smith, Jane Siberry with k.d. lang, T-Bone Burnett, Depeche Mode, U2, R.E.M., Can, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, and…Pygmies! Whenever I haven’t prepared a mix for a party I throw this on and people praise my genius.

You’ve probably heard some variation of “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” Well, we’ve touched on technology you probably don’t need before, but in these troubled financial times, when some of us can’t even afford things we need, it’s nice to know there are lots of things out there you don’t even want. For instance, whether you’re a smoker or not, who would want to puff on an electronic cigarette? Well, maybe it would lend some cred to the same desperate nightclubber that would wear an “Iced Out” LED Belt Buckle. And while all attention is riveted on their midriff message that screams “I’m a dork!“, you might not even notice that you’re laying down a nice rhythm track on their Electronic Drum Kit Shirt while you beat them senseless. On the home office front, maybe you could use a USB Hamster Wheel as a motivator (YouTube clip here ) . The faster you type, the faster it runs. Or if you’ve ever gone into a panic when software tells to you to “press any key to continue” and couldn’t find the “any” key, we have the Panic Button and Any Key combo. And although rather limited in purpose, I can’t tell you how many times I would’ve been glad to have had a TV-B-Gone on my keychain. With 209 turn-off codes, it should shut down most TV’s within 20 to 50 feet. Handy for white trash family arguments and easing the stress of talking to Best Buy sales staff.

As I said a few weeks ago, I’m helpless without Pitchfork Media’s Top 50 list. It has totally dictated my January listening habits for three years running. Well, the 2008 list is finally available, and as usual they’ve spread it across five web pages, which is a minor annoyance to me and a few other people I know. So, I’ve done you all a little favor, and summarized the list without reviews. I’ve also gone one step further and provided product and torrent search links for most of the list. I tend to torrent, review, then buy if I like it or delete if I don’t. Try to be cool and support the artists if you do the same. By the way, the The Pitchfork 500 book (pictured) is a treasure trove too, if you haven’t checked it out. It chronologically covers indy music from ‘77 Punk to the present, and is written in the same clever style as their site content. So free up some hard drive space, ’cause here it is, our condensed list —> (more…)