Ian Gray Quotes
“77.3% of all statistics mentioned in casual conversation are inaccurate.”
-Ian Gray, Budding Motivational Speaker”
CLIENT, n. A person who knows precisely what they want. Until you provide it.
~ Ian Gray, at a meeting, c. September 2012
“I like to think of myself as a man of exceptional morality. When it comes to morals, I’ll make exceptions.
“I’ve always believed it takes incredible arrogance to claim there is no God, and even greater arrogance to claim to know what God is.”
“I’ve always believed that buying insurance was like giving someone money to protect you from something that’ll never happen so that they can not protect you when it does. ”
“Aren’t you glad we all have mobile devices with two or more forms of communication built into them so no matter where we are, we can ignore them?”
“Anyone who worries about their reputation will almost certainly never have one”
“Snooze buttons are the nag marketing of procrastination.”
“Facebook. Because none of us is as banal as all of us.”
“I did my part in the War On Drugs, but they just kept coming and coming. I finally surrendered and quit doing them.”
“I think we’d be a lot happier as voters if we stopped anthropomorphizing politicians.”
-Ian Gray – November 2010
“There are two kinds of people in the world. People who think there are two kinds of people in the world, and people who don’t.”
-Ian Gray – July 2010
“DEMOCRACY is just an acronym for ‘Deliberate Entitled Manipulation Of Citizens’ Right to Accurately Counted Yearnings”
-Ian Gray – November 19, 2009
“The losing party in most elections is the voter.”
“The problem with trying to meet people to date in a town like Ann Arbor is that everybody’s either pushing a stroller or just got out of one.”
“PowerPoint. Helping people who don’t know what they’re doing prove it since 1984″
-Ian Gray – February 2, 2010
“We leave this world pretty much the same way we arrived. In diapers and drooling.”
The great thing about living in an incomprehensibly immense universe is that you can only get blamed for whatever goes wrong in your absurdly insignificant corner of it.
“…Once she got her PhD,
she didn’t want an MRS from me…”
Ian Gray, from his unreleased album “All My Exes Drive A Lexus”.
“When I feel overwhelmed with people filling my ear with problems, I try to remember how hollow my head is and tell God to listen from the other ear.”
“The only true tyrant in this world is the one inside you that prevents you from taking responsibility for your own destiny.”