Fun Things To Do That Don’t Involve Burning The Koran
[ Comments Off ]Posted on September 10, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Friday, September 10th, 2010In much the same way that not everyone wants to celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus on December 25th, not everyone wants to burn the Koran on September 11th. Here are some fun alternatives.
 Keep the terror alive with NY Defender |
We’re all probably pretty tired of hearing about how radical terrorist Christians in Florida are celebrating September 11, so we thought you might be interested in some alternatives. If you still want to do things “Florida Style”, and ensure that the day is remembered traumatically for at least another generation, all you need is a locked-down grade school full of children and some explosives. Then you can blow up a pony. Because you know, if you don’t, then the ponies have already won. Another way to keep the terror alive – but while feeling gratified that you’ve protected the homeland – is with NY Defender – the Flash game that was widely banned back in 2001 – in which you blow up airliners before they can create a place called ground zero that people can argue about building a mosque on nine years later. Some other interesting alternatives that were suggested by Reddit users include burning a copy of the Patriot Act or burning a newspaper to protest how the media created this whole debacle in the first place with their ratings-driven irresponsibility. One Reddit user couldn’t wait and already burned the Quran on September 10th. Or maybe you could ponder the ironic callousness of the fact that they’re moving the inspiring 9/11 memorial gift from our former enemies to make room for some cargo containers. Or as crazy as it sounds, maybe this would be a good time to learn about who started the last holy wars, or look at a fairly objective comparison of two of the worlds biggest religions and tell me where either one says “kill all the people that don’t believe what we believe”. Because Jesus H Chrysler, face it. You probably don’t know Jack about Muhammad. Read the rest of this entry »
Earth Hour: Switch Off The Lights For A Brighter Future
[ Comments Off ]Posted on March 27, 2010 by admin in Clean & Green, Holidays
Saturday, March 27th, 2010If you’re still in the dark about Earth Hour, just stay that way ’til 9:30 tonight and you’re covered.
Now here’s a holiday that shouldn’t stress you out. It requires little or no preparation, and only takes an hour of your life. All you have to do to celebrate Earth Hour and make a stand against climate change is turn off your lights for one hour starting at 8:30pm tonight (your local time). Earth Hour began in 2007 in New Zealand as a project created by the World Wildlife Federation. That year, 2.2 million people and 2,100 businesses participated, and the event has grown steadily since then; in 2008, an estimated 50 million participated worldwide, in 2009, hundreds of millions took part, and if things keep growing at the same rate, there may be more than a billion people taking part this year. Support is also being shown in a big way by governments and businesses around the globe, by turning out the lights on major landmarks including the Empire State Building in New York, the Forbidden City in Beijing, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the pyramids near Cairo, and the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. So while it may not be as much fun as Global Orgasm Day, why not turn off your lights for an hour tonight to show your support. In the right circumstances, you might get the same results.
Beware The Ice of March & Other Holidays
[ Comments Off ]Posted on March 1, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Monday, March 1st, 2010Yes, it’s National Frozen Food Month AND National Nutrition Month. But the Peeps got to represent too. And what the hell is an Ide, and why does March have so many?
 I’m not sure this has much to do with nutrition |
There seems to be a little contradiction in the fact that March is both National Frozen Food Month and National Nutrition Month. Especially when we all know that regarding food, March is when Peeps is the one that got to represent, and that because of Easter, it’s really all about chocolate bunnies and spanking. Another contradiction in this month’s holidays is that although it’s Irish-American Heritage Month, on the biggest seemingly-related holiday, you’ll find that many people are drunk and green, but probably not Irish. I’m also a little perplexed as to how my town is going to honor Newspaper In Education Week, since we don’t have one. Speaking of reading, do some on March 2, because it’s Read Across America Day, in honor of Dr Seuss’ birthday. Which again is a little contradictory; I for one always preferred the pictures in Dr. Seuss books, and don’t think all that hop on pop and cat in hat stuff
Valentine’s Day: Love Me, Love My Dog
[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 10, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010Saying “I love you” is just another way of saying “Gitcher ass in that kitchen an’ fry me a egg, woman”
 Make your own candy heart over at Demotivators.com |
Given the potential stress and expense of Valentine’s Day and today’s science-based eHarmony approach to love, perhaps you won’t find it surprising that rather than lavish chocolates and roses on a lover, millions of people choose instead to show their love for themselves or their dog. And it seems that otherwise, two of the biggest beneficiaries of V-Day love are condom makers and flower shops. According to this article, sales of both spike in February, with roses enjoying a really special boost. Buy on the 15th, and the price drops from $109 to $59. But of the $17 billion dollars spent this Valentine’s day, $10.7 billion will be spent on greeting cards. Breaking this down by gender sort of explains the social networking pattern of men following women on line; of all these billions being spent, men will outspend women almost two to one: $163.37 to $84.72. With the average person spending $119.67. I bet you’re wondering when your partner is gonna even out the averages, right? So anyway, given this focus on self and commerce for Valentine’s day, we’re continuing our tradition of opportunistic holiday Amazon product linking. If you really love us, consider buying something via those links once in awhile! So, we’ve already covered the most amusing Valentine gifts we could find, but at the end were left with a little question: who the HELL ever thought of giving kitchenware as a VALENTINE gift? Yes, nothing says “Gitcher ass in that kitchen an’ fry me a egg, woman” like a Tovolo Heart Shaped Spatula
January Holidays: Is Giving Blood Really As Pointless As Voting?
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on January 6, 2010 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010And is Barack Obama black? After the psychological torture of the year-end holiday season, January is mercifully light on holidays. But let’s take a moment to honor Martin Luther King Jr, Elvis Presley, and David Bowie.
 We recommend giving, in spite of the AABB’s warning |
Thankfully, the month of January is a little light on holidays. After the brutal onslaught of holidays that begin around Halloween, most people spend the month in therapy or divorce court, or are busy failing to stick to their resolutions, so don’t really have the time or the inclination to celebrate. The only “real” national holiday is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, which should be a big deal this year, because the nation has its first black president. Or does it? We’ll leave that up to you to decide. I’m personally not sure I recognize race in the first place. Anyway, as a result of all these empty calendar spaces, non-profits and health organizations jumped on the opportunity, so we have Thyroid Awareness Month, Glaucoma Awareness Month, National Birth Defects Prevention Month, Cervical Health Awareness Month, and National Blood Donor Month, none of which had clever campaigns worth linking to, except National Blood Donor Month, which has a pretty lame pitch that says “donating blood regularly is as important as voting“. And as we all know after the past few years, voting is a waste of time. Way to go, American Association of Blood Banks! I might have given, if it weren’t for your input. To people of my era, probably the most important event in January is the combined birthday of Elvis Presley and David Bowie. So happy Elvid Bowsley day! Read the rest of this entry »