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« Older Entries | Newer Entries »Newt Gingrich 2012 – The “Swingrich” Campaign
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on March 16, 2011 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011Newt Gingrich’s people told him he could capture the swing vote. He thought they said “swinger” vote. A campaign was born.
I can’t even begin to express how excited I am about the possibility of Newt Gingrich running for president in 2012. This is an even more exciting possibility than the Palyn/Quail ticket we’ve been petitioning for. See? I’m so excited I’m using prepositional endings! Unless you’ve been living under a rock like some kind of (ahem) newt or something, you’ve probably heard about Mr. Gingrich’s exploratory website* for the 2012 election. You know, the one that used the stock photo from an old Ted Kennedy site, instantly spawning a new internet meme based on putting the “awkward prom couple” photo in front of stock photos. If you’re wondering why Newt and Callista – the brittle porcelain princess by his side – look so awkward, it’s probably in part due to the fact that they’re worried about falling off the box they’re standing on. But let’s not be so superficial here. It’s more likely that they’re worried about falling from the massive pile of hypocrisy that their relationship is built upon. You may remember that Newt was leading the morality brigade that tried to destroy the Clinton presidency with a multimillion dollar impeachment travesty that was based on accusing Clinton of two things that are fundamental to political life: cheating on your wife, and lying about it. What never got much press was the fact that Gingrich himself was cheating on his wife while leading the charge. In fact, of the three wives he’s had, the only one he hasn’t been caught cheating on is the current one, who is herself the fling that ended his last marriage. In a compelling display of the Jungian Shadow at work, Newt explains in this interview on the Christian Broadcasting Newtwork that “there’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.” Note that unlike Richard Nixon or Bob Dole, who would at least use their own names to put themselves in the second person, Gingrich absolves himself of all responsibility for his actions with the phrase “things happened in my life“. Which is generally how he discusses the topic. Add to this hypocrisy and exemption of self from moral repercussion the fact that the guy is a compulsive liar who fabricates fiction faster than Steven King, and you have what should be considered a consummate politician, i.e.: a two timing, hypocritical liar. If Gingrich and Palin are even remote contenders in the 2012 primaries, stock up on the popcorn. This should be more entertaining than watching Fox News. Oh. Wait. It practically will be Fox News.
Greetings From Guantanamobama Bay
[ Add A Comment ]Posted on March 8, 2011 by admin in Politics
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011Would you like to buy a lovely waterfront hideaway near Biraq Obamastan?
I can’t tell you how happy I am about President Obama’s recent u-turn on Guantanamo. It helped drive the last nail in the coffin of a peculiar naivete I had nurtured for a couple of years. It was fun being all starry-eyed for a while, but in my heart I knew it was all too good to be true. One of candidate Obama’s most clever and inspiring lines on the campaign trail – that “cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom” – rings pretty hollow these days. In fact, my cynism is serving me quite well right about now, thank you very much. I need it to stave off the heartbreaking dissapointment I’ve been feeling because of candidate Obama’s bizarre transformation into president Obama. Recently, in response to the Rolling Stone piece about Psy Ops and politicians, we jokingly asked if indeed maybe American politicians were being brainwashed. As I lightheartedly pondered the topic, I remembered a joke I made with a friend when President Obama started sustaining Bush era policies. We agreed that “they” (you know, the Illuminati or whoever they are) must have taken him aside right after the inauguration, waterboarded him, and threatened him with the tragic demise of his family or something if he didn’t do exactly as they said. How else to explain the bizarrely Bushy behavior that our smiling, confident, man of change and hope was suddenly exhibiting? The cognitive dissonance was overwhelming for a while. I found myself making up all sorts of weird excuses for the president’s neocon-ish behavior. One was based on the fact that he and I are the same age. I’d ponder how we’d actually have a lot in common, and how I’d say to myself “Wow. Okay, imagine putting those presidential shoes on at our age. What a burden! What a challenge!” And, well…what a joke! The truth is that although we’re the same age, while he was entering Harvard with dreams of politics, I was pursuing recording contracts with my post punk synthpop, and generally detesting Harvard graduates and the values they commonly espoused. Who was I kidding? And while on balance I have to say – especially in light of the clusterfuck he walked into – that he’s certainly not a bad president, I could comfortably say the same of Reagan, Bush Sr, and Clinton. The fact is I just have incredible buyer remorse. But in the end, I’m thankful, because Barack Obama’s presidency has been part of a great lesson for me, especially in light of the recent civil uprisings around the world. And that lesson is that change won’t come from some guy in Washington, it will come from people like you and me, whenever we get off our asses and make it happen. And one final thought for you if you’re still a rabid supporter of Barack Obama. Go read these remarks of his from November 2007, or this ethics agenda from the same period, and tell me you still have faith in the man. Because if you do, I have some beautiful waterfront property in Cuba I’d like to sell you.
Are American Politicians Being Brainwashed?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on March 2, 2011 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011Probably not. But I’m pretty sure the average American voter these days is a cult member.
 Although politicians DO seem to enjoy bizarre rituals like rubbing bundles of cash on each other’s heads for good luck, this should not be mistaken for brainwashing. |
Although it’s easy to assert the idea that voters are for all practical purposes masses of brainwashed individuals, it’s not often that we question whether politicians have been brainwashed. I mean, although the millions of lobby and corporate interest dollars that wash over a politician in their career is a little like brainwashing, at the end of the day, that shower of dollars is really just good old-fashioned lubrication. Or bribery, or whatever you want to call it. So it’s interesting that in spite of the fact that the recent Rolling Stone piece Another Runaway General: Army Deploys Psy-Ops on U.S. Senators never once used the word “brainwashing”, it prompted enough references to the movie The Manchurian Candidate
Is Governor Rick Snyder Planning To Sell Michigan To Taiwan Like He Did Gateway?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on February 23, 2011 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011If so, he might want to reconsider his ill-conceived plan to destroy its film industry. It’s one of Michigan’s greatest assets at the moment. And by the way, why isn’t he on Dickipedia?
 Can Rick Snyder do the same amazing things for Michigan that he did for Gateway? |
We already jokingly offered Michigan’s new governor some suggestions for turning things around in the state; we were trying to be a little positive about having a pro-business, Republican governor. But we didn’t mention the film industry in Michigan, because WE DIDN’T THINK HE’D BE SO GODDAMN STUPID as to try to kill it. Oops. Did I raise my voice? Sorry. What is wrong with this guy’s brain? How could he not get this? As a Michigan resident, I can say with confidence that the business brought to the state by offering incentives to the film industry has been the greatest thing happening here in decades. It’s easy to debate the industry’s real impact on the state’s economy – pieces like this one gleefully focus on negative anecdotal information to paint a negative picture, while articles like this Detroit News piece paint a much more positive picture (with actual numbers and facts, by the way). But one thing you CAN’T debate has to do with two equally important factors; things that aren’t about short term financial results, and that you can’t plot on a graph. Sentiment, and opportunity. I’ve lived in this state most of my life; I saw the 70′s labor exodus as a child, I’ve watched the ups and downs of the auto industry from sellout to bailout, and I can tell you that I have NEVER in all those years seen the kind of excitement, passion, and inspiration for business and entrepreneurship I’ve seen since the state opened its doors to the film industry with incentives. I’ve worked in film myself, and have a lot of friends much more inside the business, and one thing I’ve heard repeatedly over the years is that the west coast base of the business LOVES hiring midwesterners. Why? Because of their work ethic. If there’s one thing Michiganders have, it’s an understanding of a hard day’s work, and film work, as we all know, calls for marathon hours. What better marriage could you imagine? I could go on about this forever, and yes, it would all be anecdotal. But I’m astounded by Rick Snyder’s failure to recognize the incredible opportunities for Michigan’s future here, and instead focus on short term budget wrangling. But I guess I shouldn’t be. This is perhaps similar to his strategy in his role as custodial CEO of the Gateway computer company, which was eventually sold to Taiwan’s Acer. But only after the company outsourced half of the jobs it provided stateside anyway. Is this your plan for Michigan, Mr. Snyder? Not if the people have their way. There are plenty of campaigns afoot to show your support for Michigan film, and more forming daily. I’m personally a “take it to the streets” kind of guy, so I like Michigan Film First’s plan for a rally March 3 . Got a suggestion for how to show support? Feel free to share it as a comment.
If Deficits Don’t Matter, Why Does The Government Keep Taxing Us?
[ Add A Comment ]Posted on February 16, 2011 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011I’m taking the same approach to federal budget discussions that I took with the health care bill. I’m hiding ’til they’re over, so I can smugly observe later that nothing has changed.
 This image really has little to do with the article, but we spent a lot of time on it so we like to use it whenever we can. |
I wish I were the US government, or a bank. Then, whenever I’m broke or actually running at a deficit, I could just say “that’s okay, Deficits don’t matter” or “people of America, if you don’t give me exactly the amount of money I need, life as you know it will cease to exist” and everyone in America (and their grandchildren) would give me billions of dollars, which I could share with my other friends who had been frivolous about finances or made some insanely bad investments. Unfortunately, I’m not a bank or the government, so it is mostly with a detached amusement that I sit and read about the shirtless flirts in Washington that we pay so much to sit around arguing about the annual budget. I mean, we shouldn’t be surprised that congressmen spend all their time looking for dates on Craigslist, when the alternative is actually trying to understand monstrously incomprehensible legislation like the health care bill, net neutrality issues, or for the near future, the federal budget. I mean, have you actually ever looked at the thing? Even when the New York Times creates a clever and relatively simple interactive graphic, it’s mind boggling. But definitely preferable to buying the darn thing, I mean, The basic overview is 216 pages and costs 38 bucks, and the Appendix is 6 times longer than that (1368 pages) and costs 75 bucks. If you bought all the available related publications, you’d have 2448 pages to sift through, at a cost of $214.00. And that doesn’t include the CD-ROM, which thankfully is not an audio book read by Timothy Geithner. If you want to learn more about how the budget is put together without spending 200 bucks, the Wikipedia page goes in-depth. Over 13,000 words in depth in fact. Remarkably, the words “billion” and “trillion” are only used 81 and 59 times respectively. Me? While everyone else sits around arguing about taxes, spending, sacrifice, and responsibility, I’ll be kickin’ back, ignoring the doorbell and the phone as creditors continue harassing me. Why? Because deficits don’t matter. And besides, I oddly find myself agreeing with Fox/WSJ writer Paul B. Farrell’s rant Fed dictator Bernanke needs to be toppled – Forget Mubarak, it’s Fed reign of terror that must end. To distract myself while I sit here broke with it not really mattering, I think I’ll play a few rounds of the poverty survival game Spent. Because virtual homelessness is a lot more fun than real homelessness.