Archive for 2009
« Older Entries | Newer Entries »President Robama – Our New Robot Overlord
[ Comments Off ]Posted on July 4, 2009 by admin in Politics
Saturday, July 4th, 2009Some reports are claiming that Barack Obama is a negro robot from the future.
See Robama at approximately 1:05 |
I’ve suspected for some time that all the world’s elected leaders are immediately replaced with robots upon taking office as part of a vast alien overlord conspiracy. Well, now I have evidence. If Disney’s Magic Kingdom can create creepy robot presidents from the Uncanny Valley like this (see Robama at 1:05) and this (see Robama at 1:20) for entertainment purposes, imagine what the dark ops people that created stealth bombers have up their sleeves. You’ll find this absurd (because that’s how an effective conspiracy works) but there is a war raging around the world, and the media is so tightly controlled that you won’t find out until it’s too late. That new Terminator movie? It’s just part of a massive PSYOP to prepare your mind for the inescapable fact that we will soon serve our robot masters. This report from a soldier in the field explains how Barack Obama’s robot army has taken over the world with their “million megawatt smiles and crushing fistbumps“. C’mon. A charming, impeccably articulate and intelligent president who exhibits almost zen-like serenity under pressure, is ridiculously handsome and is black? This had to be a dream come true. Or a robot invasion nightmare. You decide.
Jazzy Japanese Pop Band Sour’s New Video Is Fan-Powered
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on July 3, 2009 by admin in Music
Friday, July 3rd, 2009The clever new video for Sour’s song Hibi no Neiro, from their new EP Water Flavor is performed entirely by fans on web cams.
Whenever I feel like I’ve pretty much seen the Internet and am ready to cancel my membership, something charming comes along and reminds me what I’m doing here. Not too long ago it was Kutiman, the Israeli guy who took hundreds of amateur music tutorial videos from YouTube and mashed them up into amazingly listenable new music. This time it’s the Japanese band Sour, whose music is just some mellow, sparse, jazzy pop that sounds sort of like if a few Japanese guys studied at Berklee and couldn’t decide who they liked more, Chet Baker or Charlie Hunter. The video at left (for their song Hibi no Neiro) was produced completely using their fans, carefully choreographed on web cams to make a whimsical little video that perfectly matches the thoughtful but upbeat tune. They have a few other playful and clever videos on YouTube, including Omokage no saki which uses simple stop-animation, and Hangetsu, which uses some clever shadow puppetry. I was going to research them a little more and write about them, when I realized the bio information on their site summed it up perfectly:
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Is “Modern Manners” An Oxymoron?
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on July 2, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009Have any pet peeves about contemporary etiquette, or the lack thereof? We’d love to hear them.
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I need your help. I recently wrote about Five Effective Habits Of Highly Annoying People, which reminded me that for a long time I’ve wanted to develop a new guide to etiquette, one that uses a little humor to address manners and how new technologies have evolved with no courtesy guidelines to go with them. A typical example being cell phone manners. One of my favorite books of all time on the topic of etiquette is probably P.J. O’Rourke’s Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
Revolutionary Holiday Ideas For July
[ Comments Off ]Posted on July 1, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009I’d like to officially propose my birthday – July 9 – as a new national holiday rooted in the time-honoured traditions of Bastille Day and Independence Day. And I’d also like to propose that we don’t wear silly tricorn hats.
  And no silly tricorn hats, okay? |
During the reign of a corrupt government, a country faces a major financial crisis, triggered in part by the cost of engaging in an overseas war, and exacerbated by an unequal system of taxation. Eventually the middle class of this country grows tired of the corrupt beauracracy and stages a revolution. Sounds like the storyline for a realistic, near-future dystopian film, doesn’t it? Well, if you know your history, you’ll recognize the scenario as what we more commonly refer to as the “French Revolution”. Which is an amusing coincidence (but not ironic), since the expensive overseas war that brought the French all these financial woes was the American Revolution, and both events are celebrated this month; the US celebrates its independence on July 4, and Bastille Day is on July 14. We’ve been prattling on a lot lately about our right to revolution, so if you feel the motives utilized by both the French and the colonial Americans were legitimate and would like to start another revolution, I’d like to suggest perhaps we get things rolling on July 9. Not only is it conveniently between the two dates, but it’s my birthday and would make the day very special for me for the rest of my life. I promise I’ll come up with some catchy slogan involving the consumption of sweets or pastries or something, and maybe we’ll end up with some cool new idea like the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. I personally think that notion needs a refresh, how ’bout you?
The Future Already Looks Retro
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on June 30, 2009 by admin in Technology
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009When you’re from the 23rd century like me, the 20th and 21st centuries look a lot alike. And we’re sorry to say that Mama’s taking your Kodachrome away.
 The 1974 JVC Video Capsule and the 2002 iMac |
This little review of the Sony Walkman by a 13-year-old iPod owner reminded me that for most of my life, I’ve felt like I’m living in some sort of time warp, or am genuinely displaced in time. As a kid in the sixties, I would watch Star Trek, and the technology and philosophy of the show seemed perfectly natural to me: no war, money was obsolete, computers had flawless voice recognition, and if you were captain of a starship, you could be white and kiss hot black (or even green) chicks and no-one would bat a lash. Then I’d go out to play, and my reality would be crushed; the first thing I’d see in the driveway was my brother’s rusted out ’62 Ford Galaxie, which, in spite of the space-age name, certainly didn’t have warp drive, and definitely ran on filthy petrol-matter, not anti-matter. Ironically, in spite of the fact that I lived through the era of 8-Track tapes, then cassettes, then the still-cumbersome CD, I am at this point genuinely disappointed, for instance, at the crappy sound quality of mp3 files and the utter lack of compact, single-source holographic audio and video. As a result of feeling like the present is antiquated, I have a perverse fascination with the even more antiquated technology of decades past, which is why I just lost about two hours of my life over at RetroThing.com, where I not only spent hours reminiscing about once-incredible technologies like the Magnavox Astro-Sonic Stereo Console and this incredible pocket-sized computer, but I also learned about tragedies like the impending demise of Kodachrome. Damn. And I was just shopping for a Pentax Spotmatic the other day. Know of any other cool retro sites?