There are more things wrong with the video at left than I could possibly list, but I never let that stop me. First of all, it’s an ad for a product, and I’m displaying it for free. Secondly, it’s an ad for a really stupid product, bottled water. But what really riles up my sense of wrong has more to do with a general sense of creepiness. Ever since the original dancing baby of 1996 , we’ve found ourselves occasionally assaulted by the uncanny valley effect that’s induced by making a baby do things babies don’t actually do. Whether it’s an ad for Evian (as in the clip at left) or a Lebanese diaper ad, the image of a baby moving like an adult arouses a mild cognitive dissonance that either makes one laugh or cringe, depending on one’s personal psychological make-up. Somehow it’s less disturbing when a baby thinks like an adult, as in the 1989 film Look Who’s Talking, but I imagine that’s because we anthropomorphise babies much like pets, so oddly even talking horses seem to be acceptable. For more creepy babies, check out the vintage Baby Laughs Alot doll, or these motion-sensitive babies in a toy store. And be glad there are only 27 seconds of this zombie baby from hell. It probably ate the camera person at the end of the clip. And frankly, even a real baby can be a little creepy now and then. Especially when it’s having a Kung Fu standoff with a prairie dog.

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I’ve suspected for some time that all the world’s elected leaders are immediately replaced with robots upon taking office as part of a vast alien overlord conspiracy. Well, now I have evidence. If Disney’s Magic Kingdom can create creepy robot presidents from the Uncanny Valley like this (see Robama at 1:05) and this (see Robama at 1:20) for entertainment purposes, imagine what the dark ops people that created stealth bombers have up their sleeves. You’ll find this absurd (because that’s how an effective conspiracy works) but there is a war raging around the world, and the media is so tightly controlled that you won’t find out until it’s too late. That new Terminator movie? It’s just part of a massive PSYOP to prepare your mind for the inescapable fact that we will soon serve our robot masters. This report from a soldier in the field explains how Barack Obama’s robot army has taken over the world with their “million megawatt smiles and crushing fistbumps“. C’mon. A charming, impeccably articulate and intelligent president who exhibits almost zen-like serenity under pressure, is ridiculously handsome and is black? This had to be a dream come true. Or a robot invasion nightmare. You decide.

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One of the newest residents of the Uncanny Valley is the almost-macabre Einstein-headed robot in the video, left. There’s a strange set of ironies going on here: the uncanny realism of the face (it’s made of “Frubber”) ; the eerie motion of the robot body; the weird bobbling of the head…all combined with the idea that one of the greatest minds of the 20th century is reduced to a mumbling marionette pitching a product. The Albert HUBO, as it is called, is a product of the Korea-based Humanoid Robot Research Center, a research group that seems to be playing a little bit of catch-up with Honda’s Asimo. The welcome video on the HuboLab site is unintentionally hilarious; an Einsten-headed robot speaks with a carefully suppressed, but obvious Korean accent.

In the video at left, a woman named Emily tells us about the cutting edge computer imaging company Image Metrics. The twist? She’s not real; she’s a product of the company’s unique facial animation tools. We’ve written about the Uncanny Valley before, but more in the context of creepy robots. For another example of creep facial animation, see this clip, created using Studio Pendulum’s Alter Ego system, in which three faces simultaneously execute the same facial expressions. Only two years ago, this animated woman was about the highest quality work around, and required extensive manual editing in Photoshop. It’s odd how not uncanny these images start to look as the images become more completely realistic.

Welcome to your creepy robot future. The ACM-R5 Amphibious Robot Snake pictured here is not a CG effect created for the next Alien movie, it’s an actual robotic snake. I have no idea why one would want a robot snake, amphibious or otherwise, but there you have it. To fully experience its creepiness though, you really have to watch this video on YouTube. For more robot creepiness, check out Boston Dynamics’ BIGDOG (YouTube link). It looks uncannily like the legs of two Cirque du Soleil dancers have been amputated and then grafted onto a large, motorized duffle bag. Slightly less creepy, but still managing an Uncanny Valley Quotient of 9 out of 10, is this Japanese Robo-Girl (YouTube link). If you’re not familiar with the term, learn more about the Uncanny Valley here.