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Uncanny Dolly: Anatomically Correct Barbie

Topics: Popular Media | Add A CommentBy admin | January 4, 2011

Have you ever wanted your very own anatomically correct Barbie or Ken doll? Me neither. But there are plenty out there if you change your mind.

I imagine this is what humans would look like,
if Barbie and Ken designed them. Source

[Please note: the following may be NSFW, if naked, anatomically correct Barbies are not safe where you work] This probably belongs somewhere in the realm of the uncanny valley, but I’m not sure where. Do you remember when you were a kid and you stole your sister’s Barbie doll so you could sneak a peek and get an idea of what a girl looked like naked? Okay, maybe you were more sexually repressed, and never did this, or still are more sexually repressed, and don’t remember doing it. I don’t know if this was so common with the girls, but I know that most relatively well-adjusted guys that I know did it, myself included. As someone who grew up in a weepy liberal and often too progressive college town, I was exposed to explicit sex education in the first grade (thanks mom, for signing the permission slip), so I was a little disappointed by the whole Barbie heist-and-strip-search adventure, and the underwhelming basic biological accuracy of it all. But I’ve always wondered about the trauma other boys must have experienced the first time they were naked with a girl and they suddenly discovered they were soft, had little protuberances here and there, and (gasp) *hair on their body. So have you ever wondered what an anatomically correct Barbie would look like? Yeah, me neither, but I found out today, when I ran across an AOL “Weird News” piece called Artist Gives Barbie Nipples … and a Bad Reputation, about how San Francisco-area artist LaVonne Sallee eeks out an income “re-purposing” Barbies. This opened my eyes to the strange (and disturbingly large) world of Barbie cosmetic surgeons, whose work ranges from the ghastly results of the prankster site Zug.com to the hard-working professional over at BatKatCreations.com, who offers both Barbie and Ken models. Yes, you too can have your very own (more or less) anatomically correct doll for as little as a eighty bucks. Or if you’re more of a do-it-yourself type, Lavonne Sallee offers the tutorial How to Create One of a Kind Barbie Nipples in a Few Simple Steps! I don’t know if the world really needs any Barbie nipples, so “one of a kind” should be plenty. If you’re really into this sort of thing, also be sure to check out Barbie’s Sex Tape. Be warned, although all the “nasty bits” have been censored with little black rectangles, that last link contains explicit doll sex. I’m just gonna go back to playing with my Internet now. There has to be some eye-bleach out there to make this all go away.

This is somehow by far the most disturbing anatomically correct doll image I ran across, but I couldn’t track down the original source, even using GazoPa or TinEye. Click the image for the uncensored version, and feel free to let us know where it came from.