Archive for 2009
« Older Entries | Newer Entries »Dude, Don’t Harsh My Monday Mellow
[ Comments Off ]Posted on June 29, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, June 29th, 2009This weeks Monday Demotivators starts out on a light theme, but pretty soon the morning is shot, and it’s all downhill after that.
We received another complaint recently that our Monday Demotivators had strayed from the clever games and puzzles that force one to use their head a little. Don’t you people have anything nice to say? Well, we’re here to please. So go ahead and bang your head, and thanks for your input. But seriously, for those who for whatever reason actually like thinking on a Monday morning, we have Light Bot. Program the moves of the little robot, and click go. The objective is to light up the blue squares. Continuing to keep things light this morning, try Nodes 2, in which you line up lasers before the bomb goes off. That game takes advantage of the fact that rearranging little red lines on computer a screen is MUCH more exciting with an Electrobeat soundtrack. And if you don’t believe us, just try Laser Logic, which doesn’t have an Electrobeat soundtrack. If you’re still awake after that one, we always try to include some form of murder for the more morally degenerate homicidal types amongst you. Today we have Ultimate Assassination 2, which frankly should be called Ultimate Ant-sassination 2; although an amusing game, you feel more like you’re killing little bugs than people. And it’s all downhill from here. To finish Harshing Your Monday Mellow, we have Gnarshmallow. A simple but challenging skiing game that seems to take the little bugs from the last game and put them on a ski slope. Crashtastical, dude. Just don’t blast a dookie.
The President’s Analyst Eerily Predicts AT&T’s Omnipotence
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on June 28, 2009 by admin in Popular Media
Sunday, June 28th, 2009The surreal and clever 60′s movie The President’s Analyst eerily predicted AT&T’s creepy potential for control over our lives
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Much in the same way that you could mistake the brilliantly offbeat and overlooked sixties film The President’s Analyst
Just What IS The US Government Up To These Days?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on June 27, 2009 by admin in Politics
Saturday, June 27th, 2009How the hell should I know? I’m just a congressman.
 Even if they feel compelled to read it upside-down…. |
I’ve been feeling a little in the dark lately about just what the current administration is really up to. Back in the Bush days you could easily get a sense of things by just looking for where the bombs were dropping, or where the poor people were drowning and starving in a major US city. I’m afraid we’re dealing with a more subtle beast now; though he campaigned on open government, President Obama seems to be resorting to clever loopholes to keep the blinds drawn. And while I’m pretty excited that the house has voted in favor of the new Clean Energy & Security Act, I wonder how many of the representatives have actually read it? In the case of the recent $787 billion dollar stimulus package passed not too long ago, legislators literally had one minute to read for every billion dollars they were making a decision about. Does it make sense to you that a legislator should vote on a bill that he might not fully understand even if he did read it? If not, take a look at readthebill.org, a group that’s pushing for legislation that requires a bill to be posted on line for 72 hours prior to voting. Given the tendency of congressional reps to not read bills prior to voting, maybe it’ll squeak by. Me, I’ll be over at Ben’s Guide To Government For Kids, trying to get a handle on this whole government thingy.
Bureaucratic Booty
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on June 26, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Friday, June 26th, 2009Why do we act surprised when power-hungry risk takers (i.e.: politicians) pursue extramarital relationships? And why the heck aren’t there any women on these lists?
No wonder Jefferson’s |
There’s more than a little irony in the fact that one of our country’s earliest political sex scandals involved the author of the Declaration of Independence. Come on, America. Time to shed a few more of those Puritanical morals that have so long prevented us from becoming the great former empire that we are destined to be. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s 15 minutes of shame were easily eclipsed in the news cycle by the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson yesterday, and rightly so, in my opinion. The millions of taxpayer dollars wasted by Ken Starr’s investigations of President Clinton’s extramarital affairs could have been spent on much more useful things. Like maybe getting Ken Starr laid, for instance. I mean, if anybody ever had the look of someone who hasn’t had some in a while, it’s Ken Starr. So, if you’re an ignorant prude who’s never looked into the topic, our country has plenty of juicy tidbits to keep you busy for awhile; this Wikipedia list is well-organized and well-documented, and PolitickerNJ.com has compiled a nice “best of” list of (1.1MB, PDF) that summarizes highlights of the top 53 bureaucratic booty-calls. And for anyone trying to spin this into a partisan issue, forget it. Dems and ‘Pubs are pretty much neck-and-neck on this one. So loosen up, America, we have bigger fish to fry.
Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson…
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on June 25, 2009 by admin in Music
Thursday, June 25th, 2009…there was none left for you here on Earth
Although for most of us Michael Jackson’s death won’t have the “what were you doing when” impact of JFK’s assassination or 9/11, I for one will never forget, because a friend of mine called and asked, out of the blue, “Is Michael Jackson dead?”, to which I replied with something like “I almost hope so, for his sake”, thinking at first that my friend was being flip. Since I don’t have TV, I spent the next few minutes on the web watching the news unfold, switching between cnn.com, bbc.com, yahoo news, and Wikipedia. What I’ll never forget is that Wikipedia listed him as dead before any of the news sites had committed. I personally felt an odd sense of relief rather than anything like remorse upon finding out; I mean, what kind of life could the man possibly have left to live? My first experience with caring much about Michael Jackson as an artist was when his song “Beat It” – which strongly resembled my band’s song “No Soul” – was released, much to our irritation, because record labels on several occasions used the comparison to say we weren’t original though our song was written well before his. Although over the years one couldn’t argue his undeniable talent, the fact that his most meaningful relationships seemed to be with children, aging glam queens, and monkeys named “Bubbles” tended to diminish his credibility. My personal feelings about him vacillated quite a bit over time; although I was definitely in the camp that would gleefully make fun of his quirks for many years, a friend pointed out something to me in the late 80′s that gave me pause, which was the fact that on top of any stories of his father’s abusive behavior, his child stardom had put him some pretty strange situations with adult women, and his insular lifestyle simply made it impossible for him to mature in anything like a normal fashion. This left me feeling a bit sympathetic toward him for a long time, That is, until it turned out that he ultimately was a 40-ish child molesting multimillionaire who refused to give up fairyland, and whose best friend remained a monkey. Thanks for your music, and rest in peace, Michael Jackson. I’m sure you had no peace left here on Earth.