You May Already Be A Wiener
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on July 21, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009It’s National Hot Dog Month, but frankly, I think PETA’s winning the PR battle with their suggestion to put something different between your buns
 Lettuce pause for a moment to ponder PETA’s tofu tube steak suggestions |
Whenever someone asks me if there are any foods I don’t eat, I always forget to mention hot dogs, because, er, frankly, I don’t think of them as food. Although I’ll eat one once in awhile, I put them in the same category as Twinkies or a McMeal Deal: a thing I will chew and taste and swallow if there’s no actual organic matter around. But ignore my foodie pretensions. This is America, and it’s National Hot Dog Month, for cryin’ out loud. So grab a white bread bun, some French’s mustard, and stick a wiener in your mouth. To make sure you’re doing it up right, download a copy of the 2009 Hot Dog Month Planning Guide (6.1MB PDF), and to satisfy your appetite for tube steak knowledge, grab a copy of Frank Facts About Hot Dogs while you’re at it. They use appetizing phrases like “meat trimmings”, “stainless steel choppers blend the meat”, and “processed intestines” to further seduce you. And did you know that Americans will eat about 2 billion hot dogs this month? If we did our math correctly, those hot dogs laid end-to-end would reach 189,393 miles, which is about 4/5 of the way to the moon. So, while July 22 is National Hot Dog Day, I think the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council needs to hire a new PR firm. Although they had enough savvy to create a Facebook Fan Page and a YouTube channel PETA already seems to have stolen their thunder by protesting on Capitol Hill July 16. And since we’ve given so much time to wieners and dogs today, let’s give equal time to breasts and monkeys with the Breasts Not Animal Tests game. I scored 33,375 points, but the breasts just came too fast at the end. Got any interesting hot dog or sausage links to share?
Valentine’s Day 2009
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on January 14, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, January 14th, 2009Nothing says “I love you” like a mass-produced card written by a stranger
Don’t tell anybody, but I’m a hopeless romantic. Apparently though, there are a lot of people out there that are a little more cynical about things like Valentine’s Day. That lovely foil wrapped candy pictured here for instance? According to this source, it says “Crazy Diarrhea” on the wrapper. If you have a special cynical someone in your life, Despair.com has a unique selection of message candy sets. The “Dumped” collection includes messages like “U LEFT SEATUP”, “CELIB8 THX2U”, and “CALL A 900#”. Be My Anti-Valentine offers some bitter e-cards, pointing out that “Valentine’s Day is like herpes: just when you think it’s gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD.” For a more fratboy-like vibe, this site has a collection that includes messages like “I Think Of You When I Masturbate” accompanied by a cute teddy bear image. Want to make up your own message? Try this simple candy heart generator, or if you can read through the Engrish, buy a Picture the Flower Art Color Painter and print your message directly on the roses you buy. Because nothing says “I love you” like a mass-produced card written by a stranger. Except weird messages printed on roses. Or maybe some Pink Hi-Top Chuck Taylors
Any Plans, Resolutions, Hopes, or Predictions For 2009?
[ Comments Off ]Posted on January 1, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Thursday, January 1st, 2009Because it’s already 1/365th over, you know…
 Looks Like They Know How To Party in Sydney! |
In the words of F.M. Knowles: “He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool”. But don’t let that stop you. Although widely acknowledged that New Year’s resolutions are a foolish idea and doomed to fail, there’s even software to help you manage them (or more likely, document their failure). And if you need help selecting a resolution, here’s a handy list of suggestions, with photos. Though I don’t have any big resolutions myself, I do have some thoughts on the new year here. However, I’d love to hear what YOUR plans, resolutions, hopes, and predictions are for 2009. Feel free to add a comment. And for those of you who only pop by here for the Flash games, here’s one that will go easy on your hangover: Choppa Poppa. Mostly you just pop balloons with a toy helicopter. Batteries not included, and brain cells not required.
Maybe 2008 Wasn’t So Great, But 2009 Is Looking Just Fine
[ 4 Comments ]Posted on December 31, 2008 by admin in Holidays
Wednesday, December 31st, 2008Happy New Year!
If you’re planning to reverse your normal blood/alcohol ratio this evening, be sure to check out our New Year’s drinking tips. Whatever you do tonight, I wish you all the best for 2009. 2008 wasn’t so bad for me, but for many, it will probably go down in history as one of the worst years since 1348, which always puts things in perspective. Now THAT was a bad year. A quick Google search though, tells us that 2008 was the worst year ever for Wall Street, a bad year for restaurants, the second worst year on record for weather-related disasters a “terrible” year for the number of disaster victims worldwide, the worst year for ad revenue so far, the worst year ever for the global economy, that home sales were the worst in a decade, and also that some feel it was the worst movie year ever, although they say that every year. Like I always say: “NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE is worse than hyperbole!” So let’s get on with life. 2008 was a cakewalk. Just wait until 2012, which, ironically, may end up being the worst movie of 2009…So tell me, how was YOUR 2008?
Do YOU Have A Best Of 2008?
[ 3 Comments ]Posted on December 27, 2008 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Saturday, December 27th, 2008What was great in ’08? Care to opine on ’09?
Well, Fimoculous has fleshed out their best of 2008 list, so you won’t be seeing any annoying “ten best whatever” lists around here (except the condensed Pitchfork Top 50). That Fimoculous list always kind of wraps it up. I think for a lot of us the single best thing that happened in 2008 is a no-brainer; it would have to be that whole Change thing. Hard to top that. [See comments for explanation of this strikethrough] For me personally, 2008 was unique in that for the first time in my life (since about fourth grade, anyway) I went a whole year not only without a partner, but I don’t think I even went on a DATE. I’m taking applications for 2009 by the way (I may have lost my looks and be dwelling in poverty, but I’m still a nice guy). MORE IMPORTANTLY THOUGH, I’d love to know what stood out for YOU in 2008, or what you look forward to in 2009. That little comment link works, you know. Have at it. What was great in ’08? Care to opine on ’09?