One thing I learned in 2008 was that if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I know a lot of people have had a tough time financially, but as a chronically self-employed person I’ve gotten used to the occasional thin times. I presently have no insurance, no investments, don’t own a home, and you know what? Life’s okay. I’m excited about 2009 for a few reasons, chief amongst them being the inauguration of our new president. I imagine he’ll sell out a lot of our hopes and dreams, but let’s not be naive. Lying and compromising are the very definition of the word “politician”, and Barack Obama is a consummate politician. I have a lot of faith though, that we as citizens will now have some inspiration to get our asses in gear, since we’re now less likely to live in fear of making some secret list just for pointing out how screwed up things are. I personally don’t have any resolutions for the new year, but I do have some hopes and some predictions, which I’ll post here in the coming days. Here’s a start:

Some Of My 2009 Predictions

• In an exclusive interview from his new extradition-proof home in Paraguay, Dick Cheney will reveal that key Bush administration members were secretly Nazi Socialists whose only intent was to destroy and nationalize the American banking system.

• The day after his inauguration, Barack Obama will point out that he’s not really all that black, provoking widespread riots, mostly amongst white, affluent tree-huggers whose racial guilt has suddenly been un-absolved.

• A band of teenage hackers will take control of the global satellite network and begin broadcasting Sponge Bob, The Simpsons, and South Park 24 hours a day. Five days later, military conflict will cease globally.

• Using Google Earth, an isolated island will accidentally be discovered where numerous allegedly dead celebrities (Heath Ledger, Brandon Lee, Michael Hutchence, etc.) live a life of unbridled sensuality and perversion funded by the profits from what otherwise would have been their mediocre final films and CD’s.

• The new Terminator movie will surprise critics and fans alike by not sucking at all.

• A “ragtag, fugitive fleet, on a lonely quest—for a shining planet”, will arrive in Earth orbit with a bunch of humanoids called “Cylons” hot on their tail. Barack Obama will be revealed as the fifth of the mythical “final five”.

More Soon. Happy New Year!