Archive for 2010
« Older Entries | Newer Entries »The Donner Party – When You’re Hungry For Change But All Hope Is Lost
[ 4 Comments ]Posted on October 19, 2010 by admin in Politics
Tuesday, October 19th, 2010In the vast and brutal wasteland of contemporary American politics, sometimes there’s only one way to survive.
The massive expanse left between the extreme poles of America’s rabidly partisan politics these days leaves the voter in a vast unexplored frontier, where strange and frightening things can happen. Democrats have finally elected a genius IQ black president, and in their infinite and over-intellectualized whininess are still unhappy. Republicans had eight years of exactly what they wanted, the rootenest, tootenest, pro-war, pro-business, pro-rich cowboy the world could dream of, and they’re unhappy, fleeing in droves to the imagined solace of the nebulous and disparate solutions proposed by that bizarre collage of projected voter frustration called the “Tea Party”. Personally, I’m not falling for it; that’s why I’ve proposed innovative solutions like the Punk Party, the Facebook-based I Only Like You So I Can Hate You approach , and the Palin/Quayle 2012 campaign. But in today’s ruthless, winner take all political environment, there’s really only one thing left. Cannibalism. Although the Hannibal Lecters of the GOP will deny it flat out, the Grand Ole Party has a long-standing tradition of eating their young, and in their brilliantly honed campaign savvy, they’ve realized that when the American voter is this hungry for change, they’ll eat anything. That’s why they’re willing to throw them a questionable piece of meat like Christine O’Donnell. Anything to keep the party alive, right? Which is what inspired our latest idea for an alternative political party, The Donner Party. We’re still working up some graphics, but stay tuned for an expanded store, right now we only have an overpriced Palyn/Quail bumper sticker on CafePress. Read the rest of this entry »
How To E-Mail GlennBeck@FoxNews.com
[ 9 Comments ]Posted on October 18, 2010 by admin in Popular Media
Monday, October 18th, 2010Some interesting insight into viewer intelligence.
It’s really quite simple. Log in to your AOL account, and put the e-mail address glennbeck@foxnews.com in the “TO” line. Then type your sycophantic drivel, and click “SEND”. Why I am I bothering to explain how to do this? Because a while back, I sent a heartfelt e-mail to Glenn Beck, asking for advice on how to improve my public speaking skills. I especially expressed interest in how he manages to get all teary-eyed at precisely the right moments during a broadcast. I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t respond; I mean, he’s a busy guy, what with all that gold hoarding and restoring honor and whatnot, right? So although I sent one followup e-mail (see below), the only reason I’m even addressing the topic again is to share what I consider to be an amusing indicator of audience intelligence. When I sent the e-mail to Mr. Beck, I joked with a friend that I was probably going to get a deluge of e-mails intended for GlennBeck@FoxNews.com, because back in 2002, I sent a series of e-mails to BillOreilly@FoxNews.com, and posted them on the now-defunct echopraxia.org, an e-zine I maintained for a few years. In the ensuing six months, I received over 40 e-mails apparently intended for Mr O’Reilly. I might have bothered forwarding them, if it weren’t for the profound level of stupidity required for the senders to think they were actually sending an e-mail to their hero Bill. After my followup email to Glenn Beck below, see the screen grabs from the old site to see what I mean. And take a look at the interesting comments on the piece about my previous e-mail to Glenn Beck. Read the rest of this entry »
The Impending Global Shortage Surplus
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 17, 2010 by admin in Clean & Green
Sunday, October 17th, 2010Don’t worry, there are plenty of shortages for everyone!
 America even seems to be experiencing a “fitness shortage” |
There are times in big business when the marketing and product people should talk more with the engineers and scientists. I think this was true recently when companies like Apple and Research In Motion started pumping their mobile devices. As you may know, as a result of the explosive growth of this market, we’re now rapidly running out of the materials used in their manufacture, with China kind of cornering the market on them. The shortage of these materials should come as no surprise though; they are after all called (ahem) rare earth minerals. But since we also seem to have a shortage of common sense in America, this allows crafty neo-cons to point out that we’re now plagued with what could be called a “shortage deficit”. Meaning if those dirty liberals hadn’t put so many restrictions on mining these materials, WE could be running out of them instead of the Chinese. What these incessantly politicizing wingnuts fail to mention is that China is running out of water too. This will make it hard for the Chinese to capitalize on this shortage deficit for very long; it is after all harder to put the squeeze on anybody if you’re DYING OF THIRST. Besides, if you take a larger view, it quickly becomes apparent we’re running out of just about everything. We’re running out of oil, gold and silver, we’re running out of farm laborers (which is weird, because we’re not running out of people looking for jobs), we’re running out of drugs (at least the legal ones, the illegal ones are thriving), we’re running out of food…why, we’re even running out of internet addresses. Speaking of running out of food, the fact that we’re running out of tuna and red snapper (bet you didn’t know oil rigs were such a crucial part of the ecosystem, did you!) is probably a blessing since – as we mentioned – we’re running out of water to keep them in. Given the continued bailing out of the failed banking industry and the floundering global economy, I imagine that after years of being on the road to recovery, we’ll be running out of trees again to print all the cash needed to keep the party going. Ultimately though, I think what we’re shortest on is common sense, compassion, and patience.
10 Secrets To Being Happy, Healthy & Wealthy
[ Comments Off ]Posted on October 16, 2010 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Saturday, October 16th, 2010Or: “If You Really Know All The Secrets Of Success & Happiness Why Are You Writing About Them On Some Crappy Blog?”
 Why is this woman smiling, in spite of her hideous appearance and trivially self-involved thoughts? Because just by being born, she has everything you spend you whole life only praying you had. |
I’ve been both a victim and a beneficiary of the self-help movement since the 1980′s. You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hittin’ a self-help guru in those days; I even had a band manager/mentor (Hi Jim!) who simultaneously inspired my band with forward thinking, and tortured us with pleas to become his est podlings. While there’s a lot of self-improvement tripe out there, there’s also a lot of great stuff. Laugh if you like, but I can shamelessly say that I’ve found something useful in books by all the big names, from old school stuff like Napoleon Hill
Read the rest of this entry »
Why Does The Government Keep Promoting Cigarette Smoking?
[ 3 Comments ]Posted on October 15, 2010 by admin in Health & Wellness
Friday, October 15th, 2010Thanks to the restrictions imposed by recent legislation, Pall Malls have never looked more appealing.
 How well do you think these would sell? |
I must confess to having what you may consider a filthy, disgusting habit. No, not that one. I smoke. I’m not especially proud of it, and I may actually quit some day, but with no thanks to the US Government. If you don’t smoke, you may not have even noticed the results of the legislation recently enacted that restricts cigarette makers’ labeling of their packaging. So what were the results? Mostly the packages are just lighter shades or more colorful and appealing. In essence, the regulations just drove the tobacco companies to spiff up and contemporize their brands, while giving them incomprehensible amounts of free press. Aside from the fact that it has been recognized for some time that smokers engage in a high degree of cognitive dissonance it is now often argued that warnings can actually encourage people to keep smoking by stimulating their coping skills for dealing with the negative messaging. And it has also been suggested by marketers like Martin Lindstrom (in his book Buyology: Truth and Lies About Why We Buy