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The Donner Party – When You’re Hungry For Change But All Hope Is Lost

Topics: Politics | 4 CommentsBy admin | October 19, 2010

In the vast and brutal wasteland of contemporary American politics, sometimes there’s only one way to survive.

The massive expanse left between the extreme poles of America’s rabidly partisan politics these days leaves the voter in a vast unexplored frontier, where strange and frightening things can happen. Democrats have finally elected a genius IQ black president, and in their infinite and over-intellectualized whininess are still unhappy. Republicans had eight years of exactly what they wanted, the rootenest, tootenest, pro-war, pro-business, pro-rich cowboy the world could dream of, and they’re unhappy, fleeing in droves to the imagined solace of the nebulous and disparate solutions proposed by that bizarre collage of projected voter frustration called the “Tea Party”. Personally, I’m not falling for it; that’s why I’ve proposed innovative solutions like the Punk Party, the Facebook-based I Only Like You So I Can Hate You approach , and the Palin/Quayle 2012 campaign. But in today’s ruthless, winner take all political environment, there’s really only one thing left. Cannibalism. Although the Hannibal Lecters of the GOP will deny it flat out, the Grand Ole Party has a long-standing tradition of eating their young, and in their brilliantly honed campaign savvy, they’ve realized that when the American voter is this hungry for change, they’ll eat anything. That’s why they’re willing to throw them a questionable piece of meat like Christine O’Donnell. Anything to keep the party alive, right? Which is what inspired our latest idea for an alternative political party, The Donner Party. We’re still working up some graphics, but stay tuned for an expanded store, right now we only have an overpriced Palyn/Quail bumper sticker on CafePress.

Here’s O’Donnell proving she’s ready to devour her opponents if necessary.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by NoLabels.org - A Reasonable Voice, Or A Party By The Sheeple, For The Sheeple? | dissociatedpress.com on 12.13.10 9:53 pm

    [...] that angle covered with my own political ideas, which over the past few months have included the Donner Party and the Punk Party. But after watching a few of No Labels’ video streams and following up on [...]

  2. Posted by The Best Of 2010 | dissociatedpress.com on 12.30.10 9:23 pm

    [...] political cannibalism in his farewell speech, because one of our suggestions for a new platform was the Donner Party. You know. For “when you’re hungry for change, but all hope is lost”. We also [...]

  3. Posted by Presidential Campaign 2012 – Bachmann Swingrich Overdrive | dissociatedpress.com on 03.26.11 7:23 pm

    [...] trail. The Swingrich campaign is just the beginning. We’ll probably have to fine-tune our Donner Party platform, and give the Palyn/Quail ticket a [...]

  4. Posted by Steven Lambert on 08.08.11 2:15 pm

    how about the Motto… “have a Koch and a smile”?

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