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How To E-Mail GlennBeck@FoxNews.com

Topics: Popular Media | 9 CommentsBy admin | October 18, 2010

Some interesting insight into viewer intelligence.

It’s really quite simple. Log in to your AOL account, and put the e-mail address glennbeck@foxnews.com in the “TO” line. Then type your sycophantic drivel, and click “SEND”. Why I am I bothering to explain how to do this? Because a while back, I sent a heartfelt e-mail to Glenn Beck, asking for advice on how to improve my public speaking skills. I especially expressed interest in how he manages to get all teary-eyed at precisely the right moments during a broadcast. I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t respond; I mean, he’s a busy guy, what with all that gold hoarding and restoring honor and whatnot, right? So although I sent one followup e-mail (see below), the only reason I’m even addressing the topic again is to share what I consider to be an amusing indicator of audience intelligence. When I sent the e-mail to Mr. Beck, I joked with a friend that I was probably going to get a deluge of e-mails intended for GlennBeck@FoxNews.com, because back in 2002, I sent a series of e-mails to BillOreilly@FoxNews.com, and posted them on the now-defunct echopraxia.org, an e-zine I maintained for a few years. In the ensuing six months, I received over 40 e-mails apparently intended for Mr O’Reilly. I might have bothered forwarding them, if it weren’t for the profound level of stupidity required for the senders to think they were actually sending an e-mail to their hero Bill. After my followup email to Glenn Beck below, see the screen grabs from the old site to see what I mean. And take a look at the interesting comments on the piece about my previous e-mail to Glenn Beck.

From: Ian Gray
To: glennbeck@foxnews.com
Subject: Forget That Advice & Inspiration, I Figured It Out On My Own
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010

Dear Glenn-

I must confess I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t reply to my previous e-mail, but that’s okay. When I’M making millions every year, and you’re sitting in some dive bar with Geraldo Rivera slobbering in your drinks about the good old days, we’ll see who has the last laugh. By the way, I figured out a good “crying on cue” trick without your  help. I was using onions for awhile, but people kept looking around saying “do you smell fajitas?” whenever I was getting ready to speak. So I switched to dabbing a little pepper oil in my eye. That trick – combined with thinking for a moment about what people like you and Sarah Palin have done to my beloved homeland – releases a torrent of tears every time. Thanks for existing, if only to give me something to weep about.

Best Of Luck With Your Inevitable Tea Party Candidacy,
Ian Gray

So here’s what would happen with the old site. The visitor would arrive on this not-very-FoxNews.com-looking page:

We intentionally omitted a “contact” link on almost every page of the site, so they would have had to find the tiny link on the site’s home page. Please note the drab color scheme and bizarre site name repeated in the upper left.

When they clicked on the “Contact Us” link, they would arrive at a page like this. I’ll leave it to you to estimate the IQ of the person that would use this process to send an e-mail to Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, or ANYONE at FoxNews.com

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Miriam S. Bernstein on 11.01.10 3:49 pm

    Dear Glenn:
    I watch your show every day, and I feel very bad when I miss it. I am almost 80 years old, and I have a college education, but I have learned so much from you that I could never have learned on my own. I would like to read all the books you have recommended, but it would probably take more time than I have left to live.
    What you are doing is heroic to me. I’ve always been very patriotic and remember very fondly all the patriotic things we did when I was a child during World War II from saving tin cans and chewing gum foil to saving ration stamps and buying U.S. Savings Stamps and Bonds. What you’re doing brings those memories back to me, and that’s what we need in this country to bring us together. I always talk to my grandchildren about this, and they frequently talk about the American flags I fly at my house and on my car. I also admire your constant references to faith, hope and charity, which are very close to my heart. I believe you don’t necessarily have to be part of organized religion, but it must be in your heart. I am Jewish, and I want to advise you of something you may not be aware of: Jews don’t pray on their knees, so when you tell people to do that, you may be turning some people off–not me, because I don’t take it personally, but I thought you should know this.
    May God keep you well and give you the strength, fortitude, and inspiration to continue your chosen work.
    P.S. My late husband was a physician and a big history buff; he would have loved your shows.

  2. Posted by Howard W. Gear on 11.04.10 12:22 am

    Mr. Beck:
    You should have a high school government course required for every high school in the US. I am sure there is not one teacher in our schools today that teach what our forfathers did for us. My schooling required learning the Constitution, government structure and what faith, love and honor meant. Thank you for giving us the truth.
    Sincerely,

  3. Posted by Shirley Houston on 11.12.10 10:16 pm

    Glenn – we are daily fans. Husband began watching
    you on the other network in your former life!!!
    We enjoy every show and especially enjoy the real
    history. Thanks for having the West point cadets
    tonight. Our grandson is a cadet of Class 2012.
    We are very proud of him. Cadet Motto is:
    DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY. His career major is Medicine
    and he eventually would like to be a Neurosurgeon.
    God bless you Glenn and your service to our country through – FAITH, HOPE AND CHARITY.

  4. Posted by Robert Masek on 12.10.10 8:04 pm

    Dear Glenn:
    I’m in my seventies, remember very clearly from ww2 till now. I try to watch your program everyday. I find it very informing and confirming what I having been trying to tell my friends for fifteen years.
    I retired twenty years ago and have traveled extensively throughout South America, Central America and South East Asia. While in Thailand Feb through June 2010 I saw first hand, what can happen when a special interest installs a government that controls the media and the military. Not a nice picture!
    I had no idea who George Sorues was, until you brought him to my attention, but sounds like something he may well like to see or have his tentacles in. Not a good feeling.
    Sincerely: Robert Masek

  5. Posted by Gloria Tyler on 02.03.11 11:00 am

    Dear Glenn,
    Each time I hear someone such as yourself fear for Israel, I run to my Bible to reassure myself again, that the word of God says that He will protect Israel, and no harm will come to her.
    It does not say they will not be persecuted, or that they will not know woes, but through it all
    Jehovah, God will defeat whoever comes after them, and it is not going to be pretty.Read Revelation everytime you are tempted to say,”I just don’t know what will become of Israel if all their enemies come after them”.I will say this to Obama, go ahead Mr. President, turn your back on them and see what happens to America! We have remained blessed because we honor God, and stand up for Israel.If we fail to do both these things, he will not stand by us. So everyone pray like you have never prayed before.

    Thank You,

    G.A.T.

    bi

  6. Posted by thomas horne on 03.21.11 4:53 pm

    Dear Glenn
    my question is. WHAT ARE WE WAITING ON ? on the news of every channel,i hear them say the United States has more oil than all the other countries combined,and we have it ready to tap into right now.so what are we waiting on.why don’t our state leaders,congressmen and women and senators alike that we voted in office do something about it right NOW ? why are they making our country suffer like it is ? JMO
    please explain it in easy to understand words.
    i like your show also.
    Thomas Horne
    Arkansas

  7. Posted by carolyn graham on 04.08.11 4:19 pm

    dear glenng

    I am sorry to hear that Fox news has caved to whomever or what
    ever pressure has been put upon them by the liberals that be to silence your voice. What a proverbial thorn in their side you must have been that the government and its socialist agenda supporters felt they had to get you off the air. I will miss your program and the education I get when i watch it. I am sick of being herded. I am sick of my voice not being heard, my votes meaning nothing. I will not watch Fox News any more if you are not on it

  8. Posted by Robert Currier on 06.08.11 4:39 pm

    I would like to know your opinion on the Pipe line from Canada to the Texas Coast. Obama is not for it. I feel it would create thousands of jobs.

    What is your take?

    Thank you

  9. Posted by william walker on 06.12.11 4:39 pm

    Glenn I would like to share with you and idea I have come up with regarding social security. With the declining economy and the threat of social security running out I have come with an idea to use savings bonds as a way to eliminate social security. By buying bonds at a rate of $15.00 and maturing at $25.00 . Every 7 years each bond matures and they roll over. you do this for 28 years and the amount your employer matches would come up to a large amount of cash. The goverment could borrow money on these accounts with mandatory payback in 7 years.This would mean at an average starting age of 24 the participant after 28 years he would be close to 50 years old. This idea is part of what I would like to share with you.there is more details Iwould like to share with you or one of your staff members if you would be so kind to reply for more details .I have thought about this at great length and I believe it can work.