Some interesting insight into viewer intelligence.
It’s really quite simple. Log in to your AOL account, and put the e-mail address firstname.lastname@example.org in the “TO” line. Then type your sycophantic drivel, and click “SEND”. Why I am I bothering to explain how to do this? Because a while back, I sent a heartfelt e-mail to Glenn Beck, asking for advice on how to improve my public speaking skills. I especially expressed interest in how he manages to get all teary-eyed at precisely the right moments during a broadcast. I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t respond; I mean, he’s a busy guy, what with all that gold hoarding and restoring honor and whatnot, right? So although I sent one followup e-mail (see below), the only reason I’m even addressing the topic again is to share what I consider to be an amusing indicator of audience intelligence. When I sent the e-mail to Mr. Beck, I joked with a friend that I was probably going to get a deluge of e-mails intended for GlennBeck@FoxNews.com, because back in 2002, I sent a series of e-mails to BillOreilly@FoxNews.com, and posted them on the now-defunct echopraxia.org, an e-zine I maintained for a few years. In the ensuing six months, I received over 40 e-mails apparently intended for Mr O’Reilly. I might have bothered forwarding them, if it weren’t for the profound level of stupidity required for the senders to think they were actually sending an e-mail to their hero Bill. After my followup email to Glenn Beck below, see the screen grabs from the old site to see what I mean. And take a look at the interesting comments on the piece about my previous e-mail to Glenn Beck.
From: Ian Gray
Subject: Forget That Advice & Inspiration, I Figured It Out On My Own
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010
I must confess I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t reply to my previous e-mail, but that’s okay. When I’M making millions every year, and you’re sitting in some dive bar with Geraldo Rivera slobbering in your drinks about the good old days, we’ll see who has the last laugh. By the way, I figured out a good “crying on cue” trick without your help. I was using onions for awhile, but people kept looking around saying “do you smell fajitas?” whenever I was getting ready to speak. So I switched to dabbing a little pepper oil in my eye. That trick – combined with thinking for a moment about what people like you and Sarah Palin have done to my beloved homeland – releases a torrent of tears every time. Thanks for existing, if only to give me something to weep about.
Best Of Luck With Your Inevitable Tea Party Candidacy,
So here’s what would happen with the old site. The visitor would arrive on this not-very-FoxNews.com-looking page:
We intentionally omitted a “contact” link on almost every page of the site, so they would have had to find the tiny link on the site’s home page. Please note the drab color scheme and bizarre site name repeated in the upper left.
When they clicked on the “Contact Us” link, they would arrive at a page like this. I’ll leave it to you to estimate the IQ of the person that would use this process to send an e-mail to Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, or ANYONE at FoxNews.com