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An Email To Glenn Beck Of Fox News – glennbeck@foxnews.com

Topics: Politics | 12 CommentsBy admin | September 13, 2010

There are a couple of email addresses for Glenn Beck – me@glennbeck.com or glennbeck@foxnews.com. I’ll start with Fox News because I haven’t listened to his radio show. I wonder if I’ll get a free coffee mug?


Is Glenn Beck a Nazi? I’ll ask
him in the next e-mail.

I explained recently why I was going to stop voting and start “liking”, form the Punk Party, and support the Palin/Quayle campaign in 2012. One might think I’m simply resorting to the absurd for comic effect, but to be honest, once we reach the point where serious news sources are talking about Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin as running mates in 2012, I’m not even sure where the satire ends and the politics begin. And apparently I was guilty of contributing to this sort of confusion myself recently, when I demanded that they remove the Nascar track from the Oklahoma City bombing site, and a commenter astutely observed that I’d never been to Oklahoma City, or I’d know there’s no Nascar track at the site of the bombing. Yes, I think I’ve found my new calling. So on top of joining Sarah Palin and Ben Quayle’s Facebook groups, in my continued evolution into a 21st century Dick Tuck, I’m going to join Glenn Beck’s group too, and start corresponding with every teabag-baiting media figure and politician I can think of. First up? Glenn Beck, via Fox News. The e-mail is below. Can’t wait for a reply!

From: Ian Gray
To: glennbeck@foxnews.com
Subject: Advice & Inspiration As A New Fan
Date: Mon, 12 Sep 2010

Dear Glenn -

I want first of all to compliment you on the success you’ve achieved with your amazing media market saturation. I intentionally stopped watching broadcast and cable television in 2003, especially cable news. I also don’t listen to the radio, so trust me. If your product has reached me, you have achieved incredible market saturation. I myself have dreams of being a writer, public speaker, and media figure, so I’m reaching out to you for some pointers. I’ve been practicing that simpering, pleading hurt little boy voice you use to convey vulnerability, and I’m not above opportunistic, morally superior grandstanding. Which I might criticize you for if you weren’t making over $23 million a year doing it. Whatever moves units and captures more audience, right? So what I’m struggling with is the teary-eyed thing. I’ve seen you do it really well a couple of times in video clips. The only other time I’ve seen anyone do it with such genuineness was when a friend dragged me to a recruitment “opportunity” for a health product that was being launched via a network marketing plan. The presenter was the VP of sales for the entire company (he’s a pro, the product is backed by Guthy-Renker), and when he reached that tearjerker moment, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Except mine, ’cause I was so intent on trying to figure out how he did it. Is it genuine acting? I cried while speaking at my mother’s funeral a few weeks ago, but that was easy. In fact, too easy. In fact, I really didn’t mean to at all. So how do you do it Glenn? Were you in sales at some point? I’d love to know your secret. I’ll now be watching at least your show on Fox avidly for more pointers. You’re a genius.

And you know what else would be inspiring? A Glenn Beck coffee cup. Then I could sip Joe while I watch Glenn. I quit drinking a few years ago and my life’s been better in a million ways, and though I think I need to chill out a bit on the java, I’m not ready to give THAT up just yet. I know it’s absurd to request a free mug, but as a new fan it’s worth a shot, right? If you’re inclined to do so, please send it to:

[ADDRESS REDACTED]

Best of luck with your ventures.

Regards,
Ian Gray

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Sheila Scotti on 10.12.10 5:55 pm

    Dear Mr. Beck, You are a beiever in G-d,,, Actor Chad Everett became a Christian Minister, Chad and i a re almost 80 years old.WE HAVE AN OUT OF WEDLOCK SON. and he still refuses to submit to a DNA test,,we already have HLA blood result of 95%…..Someone just sent me this You Tube Video I think you and your News channel should see.. I am flabbergasted!
    THECHADEVERETTCHALLENGE DNAPROPHET.
    2 SHORT VIDEOS AND MEZMORIZING.
    Why did G-d and Christian Chad Everett abandon an innocent child who is being punished for being born? Mrs. S.Scotti

  2. Posted by Joanne Wallis on 10.18.10 6:04 pm

    Can you imagine in todays American of regulations and protective agencies, Edison being able to pick himself up and get back on his feet. I can’t. The EPA and OSHA would never have allowed it.

  3. Posted by How To E-Mail GlennBeck@FoxNews.com at dissociatedpress.com on 10.18.10 11:25 pm

    [...] click “SEND”. Why I am I bothering to explain how to do this? Because a while back, I sent a heartfelt e-mail to Glenn Beck, asking for advice on how to improve my public speaking skills. I especially expressed interest in [...]

  4. Posted by CAPS LOCK DAY at dissociatedpress.com on 10.21.10 7:12 pm

    [...] THAT TIME AGAIN. IF YOUR THE KIND OF PERSON WHO SENDS ADORING EMAILS TO PEOPLE LIKE GLENN BECK BUT POSTS THEM ON COMMENT THREADS OF ARTICLES MAKING FUN OF GLENN BECK YOU WONT EVEN NOTICE BUT ITS CAPS LOCK DAY AGAIN MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE ADDED A PERIOD BACK THERE BUT [...]

  5. Posted by patrick Marshall on 10.30.10 10:29 pm

    glenn just a quick fyi from a fan of yours
    the slogan during mario quomos campaign againts ed koch for jmayor of ny was wa was vote for quomo not a homo, that little ditty was attributed to marios son andrew. the same guy running for governer. just wanted you to know before the bloogers rake you over the coals.
    good luck we support you…. all the way to the white house if you ever decide to run. God bless and keep doing gods work, as a christian it is obvious to me god is sterring your diredtion.
    Praise god in the highest.

  6. Posted by Ed Hayden on 11.04.10 4:38 am

    Hi Glenn, Born and raised in a town down the road from you named Marysville. Spent quite a few days there in the mount Vernon-Burlington, Anacortes, Hamilton, Lyman areas. Fun Times !

    What I say. In fixing our economy we need to quit building up all these foreign economies in that of shipping our companies into China, India,and other countries. What comes along with this is American paid construction costs along with the federal support in them relocating from America and funds for training these people in there own country. Why are we doing this when we need jobs here in America to where we build better products anyway, These foreign Americam corporations including the foreign would have to pay a tarrif fee on all the products they ship into our ports everyday.

    This would give these foreign Countries and manufacturing a good choice in movimng back to America. WE need to bring these corporations back into America, We need to tarrif the products comming into our country so we can earn more and produce better american products in our stores and etc.

    Since the 70′s we have sending out all our hightech jobs to Mexico, Korea, Vietnam, India,China, and many more ! Let’s bring them back home,lets tarrif all importers at %25 to get it going,,, RE need Jobs, families, Dogs, What we have been doing is sending all of our joibs in America and replacing then with no talent.

    This will start getting the country moving again.

  7. Posted by Ed Bushong on 02.27.11 11:21 am

    Sir I am retired Military and am 81yrs old so please bare with me. I got this with my emails an it needs to be looked at by you . thanks the old Sagt
    .

    sent by Retired Vice Admiral Bob Scraborough, of Arlington, Va

    Everything was on go until Obama made a policy that, (NO U.S.SERVICEMAN CAN SPEAK AT ANY FAITH-BASED PUBLIC EVENTS ANYMORE.) Thanks again

  8. Posted by admin on 02.27.11 12:19 pm

    Relax, Retired Sergeant Bushong. It’s simply not true. Just more people raisin’ trouble with lies on the intranets. Here’s the full scoop, with an official US Military response that makes it clear that he was discouraged from speaking by his superiors because of a longstanding military policy of not speaking at FUNDRAISERS. It was LONG STANDING POLICY, and it was about SOLDIERS SPEAKING AT FUNDRAISERS.

    It had nothin’ to do with faith.

    Here’s the explanation.

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/faithbased.asp

    PS – No need to call me sir.

  9. Posted by mary kivlin on 04.02.11 9:07 am

    glen, you tell us every day to stand up for our country. when someone like donald trump stand up, you say he’s showboating, please glen we need someone like him, not another sell out, behind close doors senator, congress folks or governor. None are for all AMERICANS just the ones who vote for them, I for one hope Mr Trump runs, why does’nt he get a shot of giving us back the American dream

  10. Posted by Barbara C. in Glendora Ca. on 06.21.11 5:17 pm

    Mr Beck, I watch your show everyday and just adore you. You are brilliant and I never seen anyone else who cares as much as you about our beautiful country. You have ansewered my wishes of someone to come foward and tell the truth about what this GOVERNMENT is really up too, about our oil and natural gas and coal reserves we could be totally independant of the middle-east and those who want to hurt and kill us, and it’s very true we would’nt have as much unemployment.. God Bless You .. The Greatone

  11. Posted by Beth Plankers on 09.07.12 5:03 am

    Obama did not end his speech by saying God bless the United States of America. He ended his speech saying God bless these United States. Which united states was he referring to? The United States of America or other states that he has united with?

  12. Posted by sheila scotti on 10.09.12 5:47 am

    Since I last advised you of the injustice against out of wedlock children within our court system, Chad Everett , the father of my son has died. Even in sickness and death Mr. Everett and his Family refuse to accept and acknowledge my son. What kind of cruel,Christian, heartless family is this? There is a 95% HLA blood result that Everett is the father and further DNA would raise it to
    100%. They all have refused to submit to DNA testing. Hence my son is denied his constitutional right to have a legal paternal identification. This is most reprehensible! sheila scotti