Yeah, it’s only July. But this will sure make things easier in December.
After two years of daily articles about Lifestyle & Culture, Music, Politics, Pop Media, Technology, and Green Living , we’re taking a little break while we make some major site changes. In the meantime, whether you’re a regular visitor or have never been here before, there are over 800 posts for you to peruse, so we thought we’d round up some highlights from 2010 to help you get a feel for what Dissociated Press is about while we enjoy our little staycation. We’ll be back with a different format in the near future; learn more here if you’re interested. So here’s the best of 2010 so far…
A Better Apocalypse Through Technology
Having grown up with entertainment like Star Trek, Star Wars, 2001, Blade Runner, and the movie Brazil, I find a lot of entertainment in doom and gloom scenarios, and live in a constant state of technological ennui. That’s why I’m always eager to point out how too much information is making us crazy, and how the personal computer will bring the end of the world, with a little help from you and the Internet. Oh, and did I mention? Your robot sucks.
If You’re So Hip Why Aren’t You Rich?
If you were REALLY hip,
you’d outsource yourself
In spite of everybody I know being a sex god and social media guru or brand expert that’s completely aware of the impending demise of their ironic hipsterism, they still seem to be pretty clueless, masochistic consumers who are always too busy to just hang out, or at least trying to look that way so they can stay employed. That’s why we offer tools and solutions like how to disarm your enemies with psychobabble, and advice on how to outsource your life, because when smart bosses know the most productive employees are crazy and underpaid, who wants a job?
That Elephant In The Room Is A Fat White American
As you can see, a “dreadneck” is nearly
Unlike most pop culture/pop media sources, we have no idea why you care about how rich and famous people live (though we love the Famous & Fugly), which is why we like to get to the meat of the matter – which in this case means white meat – and why we did an extended series on the “real” white American, exploring things like the zen of being redneck and how there’s more to being a hillbilly than marrying your sister. We also tried to bring a little pride to white trash culture by giving it a more respectable name. And don’t forget that other white minority, Albinos.
How I Went From A Starry-Eyed Obama Supporter To A Teabagging Dick Tuck
If you’ve followed my articles about politics, you’ve watched me go from a liberal lifestyle, fiscally conservative, otherwise split ticket, starry-eyed Obama supporter to a Teabagging Dick Tuck in just over a year, as I learned about agency capture via Washington’s revolving doors, explored the joys of fictitious capital, and pondered not only where your tax dollars go, but showed you what a trillion dollars looks like. I also pointed out that if America were a hundred people splitting a hundred dollars, one guy is being a real prick about things. In the end, I’ve learned what more intelligent people knew along, which is that most people are too stupid to vote, and we may as well just watch them start the Red vs Blue Civil War. It’ll be good for a laugh. We Americans take politics way too seriously anyway. So as a concerned citizen of the Land of the Free and Home of the Brazen, I will from now on only ask the important questions, like Is That A Bomb In Your Underpants, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Up The Creek Without An iPaddle
Sometimes it’s easy to predict the failure of a major product rollout, like we did when we suggested someone notify Kin’s next of kin. But back in January, we awaited the as-yet-unnamed and mysterious new Apple product with breathless anticipation, pointing out that “iSlate” would be the perfect name, because it wasLate. So would Steve Jobs wear an iPatch to introduce one of these innovative iProducts? Well, it quickly became apparent that Apple is the new Evil Empire, and that the iPad was a marketing platform, not a cool computing tool. Which led us to ask What Do Kate Moss And An iPad Have In Common? And while the tech blogs tore the iPad to pieces, we came up with creative new uses for it, and suggested a list of iPad alternatives.
I’m With The Brand
I have no desire to be a music critic, so when I touch on music, it’s usually to share an obscure artist, talk about marketing, or rant incessantly about what litigious morons they are in the film & music industry. In the obscure artist department, we explained how Aussie punk rock bagpiper Cam McAzie gives new meaning to “down under” when he dons his kilt and combat boots, and took a look into Hungarian Hip Hop and American Hick Hop. We also exposed you to the Relentless Terror of Loituma’s Ievan Polkka. And regarding marketing, we took a look at the sad spectre of middle-aged white men from Ohio making a comeback, and realized it’s truly over when Iggy Pop Licenses “Lust For Life” to Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines.