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You Won’t Find The G-Spot With Your iPad

[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 4, 2010 by admin in Technology

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

If you’re an Apple or Google lover who thinks Microsoft is The Evil One, you really need to get up to speed. No, One Bing Shall Not Rule Them all.

If you’re the sort of person who thinks of Microsoft as The Evil One, you haven’t really followed what Google and Apple have been up to lately. And if you think that tablet devices don’t have a big future you’re probably also fortunate that you don’t have investment dollars either, because you’d be kicking yourself down the road for the opportunities you missed. Yes, the tablet wars are on. Steve Ballmer rushed the announcement of the HP/Windows Slate to beat Steve Jobs recent unveiling of the iPad. And hot on the tails of Jobs’ announcement, Google released a rather feeble concept video of their Chrome Operating System in use on an imaginary tablet device (images here). And then of course there’s the lawsuit against the Indian company that allegedly stole the CrunchPad and renamed it the JooJoo. But what’s really going to be interesting about how this all plays out is that it’s not about the devices per se, it’s about who controls how you do what you do, and all the big players know this. Yes, Apple kicked Adobe in the face over flash, but in a way, who cares? Flash has been a crashmonster since its inception. What’s really at stake here is how you get on the web, where you buy things, and how you do your business. And Apple’s closed system on the iPad is geared toward this end. Google already has search pretty well locked down, and they additionally want you phoning and creating all your office documents through tools like the Google Phone, Google Voice, Google Docs, and G-Mail. Imagine a future in which the coolest new device doesn’t play nice with the coolest new tools you want to use on it. And if you can’t even install your own software, because it’s all located on a remote server that you have no contorl over. And to take “Evil” to a new level in this realm, now that Apple makes their own chips for their exclusionary device, they’re essentially like Intel and Microsoft rolled into one. Adding a little irony to all of this is the fact that Apple is talking to Microsoft about replacing Google on the iPhone with Bing. Who is your evil nemesis now? Read the rest of this entry »

Steve Jobs Wears iPatch To Pitch Pre-Hacked arghPod?

[ Comments Off ]Posted on January 20, 2010 by admin in Technology

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Everyone seems pretty sure that Steve Jobs will announce the new Apple Tablet on Monday. But the fact is that they’ve predicted this before, and been dead wrong. It could easily be a real iOpener, like an iBrator, an iPatch, or an iPotty.

What is Apple’s new arghPod? An anti-piracy device? Did they finally decide to save iPhone users the trouble, and jailbreak the phones for them? Is it simply a symbolic expression of the frustration we’re all feeling as we await the release of some kind of Apple tablet device? Argh. Everyone seems pretty sure that a tablet called iSlate is what Steve Jobs will announce on Monday Wednesday, and as we pointed out recently, that would be the perfect name, because it iS late, is late indeed. But maybe it’s something else. The image released to the press isn’t very informative; it suggests that maybe Apple is getting into the Splatball gun market. Or maybe they’re just announcing the new iTunes cloud music venture. I don’t know why I fret so much about the release of the thing; I probably won’t buy one for a year after the release date anyway. Whatever Steve Jobs announces on Monday, the fact is that no-one who knows for sure is telling yet what it is, so the speculation can continue. Which is why we dredged up our favorites from old Worth1000 contests for imaginary Apple products, as well as a couple of other parodies, including our own.  See our selections below. Read the rest of this entry »

Buying A Touchscreen Tablet PC: Mac, Android Vega, Or CrunchPad?

[ Comments Off ]Posted on November 16, 2009 by admin in Technology

Monday, November 16th, 2009

I’d love to own a Mac Tablet, but I’ll probably settle for any lightweight tablet PC that actually exists.


One thing I’ve noticed about these tablet
PC’s is that they all look better
with Dissociated Press on the screen

I don’t know why I’m so impatient. I mean, it was just a few thousand years ago that we were still picking bugs off of each other’s heads and grunting, but for some reason I expect the personal computer to be the size of a small legal pad, talk, accept voice commands, and have a holographic keyboard in the first thirty years of its evolution. But in my heart of hearts, I know that’s unreasonable, so I’ll settle for a decent tablet PC with a touch screen. And whine about it ’til I get one. Preferably a Mac, as I’ve said before, but recently I’ve considered lowering my standards. Especially after the last couple of weeks of hoopla about the mystery tablet that NVIDIA’s CEO used to taunt the tech press. In spite of a short-lived flurry of rumors that it had something to do with a Mac Tablet, it’s now pretty clear that it was an IDC Vega 15 inch tablet. And if it was, I’ll add this to the list of devices I’d consider buying, along with the the CrunchPad. I just want to get rid of my cellphone and laptop, and do it for less than a couple grand. Take your time, Apple. As much as I love you, personally I’ll probably settle for a tablet that actually exists in physical reality. Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t Discount The Five-Finger Method

[ Comments Off ]Posted on October 16, 2009 by admin in Technology

Friday, October 16th, 2009

A cool touchscreen interface concept by 10GUI rethinks the window-based interface and explains why a standard touchscreen just doesn’t work for the desktop computer.

I’m always babbling about innovative laptops and cool user interfaces, but the video at left explaining a new user interface concept by 10GUI is probably the most insightful rethinking of the desktop that I’ve seen in a long time. As an interface designer myself, I think the iPhone (although I feel no need to own one myself) is probably the most brilliant personal computer interface to date. I’ve been dying to own a larger device that utilizes its multitouch features, which is why I’m always drooling over the idea of a Mac tablet or dual-touchscreen laptop, but have also often thought about how a lot of the features of a multitouch screen are actually antithetical to the realities of desktop use. This video by 10GUI references that, and offers a fantastic solution. I’d have to try the deeper levels of task and file management that they demonstrate in the video before I’d know if I agree with the solutions offered, but on the surface they make perfect sense. I’d love to see this interface integrated into a real device and try it. If you’re interested in this sort of thing, the nerd all the nerds love to hate (Michael Arrington) just (ahem) touched on  this topic the other day over at TechCrunch. Read the rest of this entry »

Forget That Mac Tablet – The Microsoft Courier Is Coming

[ 3 Comments ]Posted on October 4, 2009 by admin in Technology

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

All you fascist Mac-Addicted zombies are gonna be jealous when I have my cool gizmo before you have yours.

My interest in the ultimate iThingy, innovative laptop concepts, and the much-rumoured Mac Tablet borders on an unhealthy obsession. If somebody would just go ahead and MAKE one of the darn things, I’d be the first sucka in line to buy one. And now, I’m in real danger, because the Microsoft Courier may just beat the Mac tablet to market. I mean, when you’re talking about imaginary magic fairy gizmos, anything can happen, right? The impending Microsoft answer to the Mac hoopla is actually pretty intriguing. Watch the video below to see exactly how cool an imaginary Microsoft product can be. I’m just left wondering how a device that small can possibly run a Windows operating system. It must have a pretend fairy-powered CPU too. And since it’s a startlingly clever concept considering its Redmond origins, rabid PC-hating MacFreaks of course had to immediately dig up this video from 1988 showing that Apple was “already there”. Well, thank God Apple didn’t go there; if I had to look at and listen to that little bowtie-wearing dork in the video every day I’d stop using computers altogether. He’s more annoying than “Microsoft Bob” or “Clippy”. Well, maybe not Clippy. And just one last thought (swiped from Microsoft’s grinning robots or the Brotherhood of the Mac. Which is worse? ) to all you Mac-fixated zombies out there who are going to claim in advance that the Courier couldn’t possibly compare to a Mac Tablet: “Go back to your house. I know, you’ve got an iHouse. The walls are brushed aluminum. There’s a glowing Apple logo on the roof. And you love it there. You absolute MONSTER.” Read the rest of this entry »

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