Will You Shut Up About The Oscars Already?
[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 26, 2013 by admin in Missing Links
Tuesday, February 26th, 2013Right after you view an amazing roundup of Oscar GIF’s. Somewhere else. Last week we declared social media dead, this week it’s the Internet Meme and the GIF.
Our sentiments about the Academy Awards can be summed up pretty quickly. They’re stupid. If you don’t get why they’re stupid, Jerry Seinfeld sums it up well in this clip (video also below). But you know what made them even more stupid this year? The fact that for the first (and hopefully last) time in history, the post-awards commentary collided with the already-played-out animated-GIF-as-meme. Nothing says You’re Doing it Wrong like the mainstream media trying to be hip by mining mercurial internet humor. And the incessant re-posting of the same decidedly not funny GIF’s on thousands of news and entertainment websites was a fitting eulogy for the animated GIF meme. So. We declared social media dead last week; this week we’re declaring the whole “internet meme” meme dead. Especially the animated GIF. The only effective humor to be found in most internet memes is driven by their obscurity and inside-jokiness. They almost universally are given birth deep in the bowels of Reddit, Something Awful, or 4Chan, enjoy a brief “humor event horizon”, and by the time they reach sites like QuickMeme.com, they’re even more unfunny than when someone tries to verbally explain a really funny single-panel comic that was based on a sight gag. So we apologize for recently capitalizing on the linkbait strategy of posting “funny YouTube clips and animated GIF’s” in our weekly Missing Links. Next week we’ll have a roundup of actually interesting links. Enjoy our farewell to the animated GIF and YouTubidity, after the Seinfeld clip below. Read the rest of this entry »
Captcha’d Forever
[ Comments Off ]Posted on September 4, 2010 by admin in Technology
Saturday, September 4th, 2010The best use for those annoying squiggly log-in words called Captcha’s? COMICS!
I’ve often joked that the web is an excellent reflection of humanity and the human psyche. This is reflected in the fact that most internet traffic is generated by sex, trying to meet someone who likes you, or getting the free stuff you think you deserve. In the broader view – as often happens in the real world – the evolution of the web went something like this: some smart clever people create something cool, less smart people come along and join in, everybody has fun for a while, and then their stupider, greedier, eviler friends show up and eff it all up. This pattern is probably why a lot of humanity’s energy seems to be devoted to protecting itself. Like building thousands of nuclear bombs to make sure no-one uses them, or destroying your freedom to protect it. On the web, this behavior is why we have so many tools for proving you’re human, i.e., the many variations of the CAPTCHA (Completely Automated Turing Test To Tell Computers and Humans Apart). You know, those squiggly words you can’t read with your blurred vision and splitting headache the morning after a hard night of partying, when you’re trying to check your finances online to see if you burned your bank account in the last few hours of the night, the ones you don’t remember after buying the entire strip bar a round to prove to your favorite lap dancer that you’re loaded. It’s amusing that with Captchas we’re just protecting all the “good” web applications (useful web services) we write from “bad” web applications (spambots) we write. Typical human acts of futility. In any case, in spite of their assumed usefulness, Captchas have been cracked in a number of ways. Or have they? Jeff Atwood of CodingHorror.com points out some interesting fallacies in this article, and claims he has a 99% bot-blocking rate with what he calls a “naive captcha”, which is simply a well-designed captcha image that never changes! If you don’t think conventional Captchas are good enough, there a some alternative methods like this math-based Captcha, which will not only keep out spambots, but probably everyone but Stephen Hawking or Richard Feynman as well. Other versions include solving a tic-tac-toe puzzle, or this one, based on pictures of cats and dogs, or this one, which requires you to solve hieroglyphics. And then of course, companies like Google or Microsoft will try to figure out ways to make or save money with them. Microsoft’s idea is to make you look at ads; Google uses Captchas to make you read the words their scanning technology can’t. Yup. Your obstacle to the content you want is Google’s free labor force. Probably the best use of Captchas I’ve run across though is using them for making comics. This Something Awful forum may have started it, but there are amusing collections here and here. Some images may be NSFW. My quick stab at it is below. Read the rest of this entry »
This Link May Be Subject To Copyright
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on August 9, 2010 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, August 9th, 2010Why we’re instituting a “Don’t Link, Don’t Share” policy. Please do not view, link to, or share these links.
As we mentioned last week, there’s something funny about the way some people develop a sense of ownership when sharing a link, to the extent that “decent” people will add a “via” credit when re-sharing the link. This is especially funny given that the web is, when all is said and done, NOTHING BUT A SERIES OF LINKS. It’s also amusing that this kind of “link valor” still exists at a time when all you find at the top of most Google search results are Scraper Sites. Obviously, some people not only don’t care who’s link they’re sharing, they don’t particularly care who’s content they’re sharing. Which is why I’m going to have to point out that this brief article and the links within it are subject to copyright. So please do not share them. You may review our detailed terms of service and linking policy here. Actually, that’s Ticketmaster UK’s legal page, but we like the way they phrased things. So just replace “Ticketmaster” with “Dissociated Press” wherever it’s appropriate. And especially mind the bit that says “”You also agree not to deep-link to the site for any purpose, unless specifically authorised by Ticketmaster Dissociated Press to do so.” And if you think we’re crazy for instituting these policies, check out this collection of sites that ban you from linking to them. If a policy’s good enough for Jimmy Choo, it’s good enough for us. So on with de linking… Read the rest of this entry »
You Biatch! You Stoleded My Link!*
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on August 3, 2010 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010Ever get a weird possessive feeling about the links you share? Me too. That’s because they’re ALL MINE. I just haven’t been sharing them. Help me name our new weekly “link dump” column.
I get depressed sometimes when I realize that my life is just a bunch of web links strung together with occasional real-life discussion, but mostly just connected by written commentary and link sharing on Facebook. It gets REALLY depressing when I find myself having an emotional response to someone sharing a link on their Facebook “wall” without crediting me, as if somehow it was MY link. Or if they get more comments in spite of posting it when it’s already a week old. “Stupid link sharing friend! I shared that link LAST WEEK!” This is one of the unfortunate side effects of maintaining a site like Dissociated Press. As I said to a friend once: “The Internet. I have seen it“. Out of the literally dozens of sources I comb regularly to bring you interesting stuff, I OMIT infinitely more than I share, because, well, they’re JUST LINKS. So I’ve finally decided to put this wasted pile of weekly links to use, with a regular “link dump” section. I just need a name for this new section on the site. “Linkdump” somehow doesn’t sound like something that would generate enthusiastic user engagement. So if you have an idea for a name, feel free to share. But enough delaying. On with delinking! Read the rest of this entry »
Happy Hollowmeme!
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 27, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009This year, take an easy out and go as an Internet meme. We all know Halloween is really here to remind us that there are only 55 shopping days left ’til Christmas, and that Dachsunds taste great with mustard.
The other day, a friend asked me: “What are you gonna be for Halloween?” to which I replied: “Happy I survived another Michigan October!“. Let’s face it, the real purpose of Halloween is to remind you that there are 55 shopping days ’til Christmas, and that it’s time to pull out your Turgooduccochiqua recipe. My only Halloween plan this year is to call all my weight-conscious friends November 2nd and ask them if they want me to take all the mini chocolate bars off their hands, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have some costume ideas! A few of our ideas from last year are still pertinent; I have yet to see the amazingly simple-to-execute Surreal Homer Simpson getup at a party. But for this year, why not go as an Internet Meme? The folks over at Rocketboom have assembled a list for you, complete with product links to all the things you’ll need. To dress up as the Flying Spaghetti Monster for instance, all you need is rope
