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Fed Up With The Shape The Economy Is In? Why Not Create Your Own?

[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 8, 2013 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture

Friday, February 8th, 2013

Part one of a three part series on why we should probably buck the banks and start printing our own money.

The Epson R2000 is probably quite
adequate for the task at hand.

Have you ever wished you could just print your own money when you need some? I mean the US government does it, why can’t you? Well, the simple fact that you can may surprise you. Most of the laws that make printing your own money illegal have to do with printing someone else’s money. If you print off a bunch of US hundred dollar bills, there’s a really good chance you’ll end up in jail. Even if you’re just a brilliant aging artist who’s really just obsessed with doing a good job. But the fact is that as much as the people (and by “people” we mean banksters and politicians) who make it their entire life’s purpose to reap personal benefit from screwing you over a fictitious commodity would prefer that you think otherwise, in most of the states in America, there is nothing stopping you from creating your own fictitious commodity and using it for every day commerce. In fact it’s already happening with varying degrees of success all over the country; there are about 150 currencies on this Wikipedia list of local currencies, from the Berkshire BerkShares to the Detroit Cheers, to the Fairfax Fairbuck. And aside from these physical currencies, there are huge economies evolving right now that are entirely digital, like BitCoin or Ripple, and recently, even Amazon is getting in on the “let’s make our own money” game with Amazon Coins. I personally find it ironic that the people who claim to be the only ones who know how to manage currency and the economy are the ones who have made such a mess of both. All the while somehow managing to maintain their own hordes of cash and liquidity. Okay, actually it’s not ironic at all, we’re just a bunch of ignorant suckers who are taking part in the biggest con in the history of the world. Aren’t you getting tired of it? So let’s take things into our own hands. We couldn’t do any worse than the goons at the Fed, could we? And the time is ripe for a paradigm shift. One of the core problems with global economics right now is that speculative wealth is entirely untethered from the real-world resources that create it. There is a literal monopoly on the production and control of currency and wealth simply because we make it easy for the centralized power of banks to exist, simply by sheepishly playing along with the big Ponzi scheme. So there’s an interesting angle – maybe we could file a class action suit against the federal government and banks for colluding to monopolize the money supply! We jest of course. This is part one of a three part series; we’re just having some fun here, but in parts two and three we’ll look at the history of money, and the realistic obstacles to decentralizing the control of it. For now, I’m going to go make millions of dollars. On my fancy Epson inkjet.

Context here if you don’t get this joke

We Wish You a Fiscal Cliffmas

[ Comments Off ]Posted on December 14, 2012 by admin in Holidays

Friday, December 14th, 2012

Don’t let the government have ALL the fun. Spend yourself into oblivion this Christmas with these great gift ideas for the brokeass masses and their overlords to be.

We thought our job was done. In past years, we had pretty much covered the whole “Christmas Gift Ideas as Linkbait” idea, having touched on everything from insanely expensive gifts you might hope to get, to disturbing and perverse gifts you hope you DON’T get. Last year we were so desperate for a new gift theme that we resorted to Christmas Gifts for Occupiers. What could possibly be left? Well, thanks to those clowns in Washington who will gleefully spend 3 billion dollars to get elected but can’t balance a US budget to save their lives, we’re back! While most of us drive off our OWN fiscal cliff just about every Christmas and wake up in the wreckage in January, this is the first time in a while that the government has paused for a moment and said “Holy crap! We’re broke!” Never mind the fact that this has pretty much ALWAYS been the case. This is different! It’s a FISCAL CLIFF for chrissakes. WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ‘CAUSE THERE’S NO MONEY. Or so some politicians would like us to believe. It’s especially ironic that the GOP was the source of the term “Fiscal Cliff”; somewhere in their clever plan to slap the label on Obama, things backfired. Probably because they overlooked the fact that we’re too smart to ignore the fact that you don’t have to be in a particular party to be a greedy, self-serving, irresponsible twit. “It takes a pillage” as they say. One thing’s for sure. No politician who spent his whole life engineering the kind of pay, perks, and health insurance that congressman enjoy will ever fail to keep the honey flowing. Which – as usual – will have no bearing on OUR lot in life. As the global economy continues its gyrations, the average American will be more brokeass than ever, and “middle class” will become a meaningless phrase as we spiral into a Dickensian world of poverty for the many, and king-like riches for the few. So this year’s roundup focuses on gift ideas for the brokeass and classless, i.e.: you and me, our rich overlords to be, and a couple for the filthy commies who voted Obama back in office so he could finish single-handledly destroying our economy and way of life with his evil socialist agenda. Gift ideas below. Most of them are free or under ten bucks on Amazon. Read the rest of this entry »

Ten Best Cars for Driving Off a Fiscal Cliff

[ Comments Off ]Posted on November 11, 2012 by admin in Politics

Sunday, November 11th, 2012

DC Gridlock usually prevents economic policy from moving from desk to desk, let alone off a cliff. But just in case, you may as well be prepared.

Fiscal CliffNow that the presidential election is over, it’s clear that the media has decided that their favorite new buzz phrase will be “Fiscal Cliff”. It’s only been a week, and any sane person is probably sick of hearing it already. But what gives? Apparently the trillions of dollars in debt and deficits we’ve been running for years suddenly matter? Did the money printing machines break down or something? Someone please fill me in. Personally, I don’t see what all the panic is about. Given the gridlock in Washington, I can’t imagine how legislators are going to drive anything ACROSS TOWN, let alone off a cliff. But this got me thinking. If you were going to drive off a cliff, what would be the ideal vehicle? Below is a quick roundup. Read the rest of this entry »

Too Big To Jail

[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 19, 2012 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Sunday, August 19th, 2012

Why none of the crimes of the financial services industry will ever be punished.

If you want to commit a crime and get away with it, one way to do it is to make it an EPIC crime, surround yourself with lots of fall guys, and remain utterly unrepentant. Nixon understood this in the Watergate scandal; his abuse of office was remarkable, and he had no qualms about letting his underlings dangle. Reagan & Bush understood this in the Iran Contra affair; mixing billion dollar drug and weapons deals to negotiate the extended enemy-state-sponsored kidnapping of American citizens to win an election was a stunning exercise in criminality that went largely unpunished. In fact one of their fall guys is now a high-paid “journalist” with Fox News. And in a recent bizarre example, the US government dropped charges against a fugitive doctor wanted in a multimillion dollar international racket selling prescription drugs online, simply because the evidence against him was using too much space on federal servers.

Another way to achieve your goal is to create a legitimate business that so insinuates itself into people’s lives that they feel they can’t live without it, and then charge them enough to buy deregulation for yourself, so you can basically get away with murder, price-fixing, repossession of property, Read the rest of this entry »

America In Decline: 10 Reasons You Should Start Studying Mandarin TODAY

[ 3 Comments ]Posted on June 28, 2012 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

The decline of the American Empire will be hard for some of us, but I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords. And the opportunity to brush up on my Mandarin.

A long time ago, I managed a Chinese restaurant for a couple of years, and found myself quickly adopted as a sort of Honorary Asian. I have to say, I honestly feel much more at ease with a lot of the cultural vibe of Chinese people than that of most American people. I won’t bore you with all the reasons why; but this will certainly come in handy in the impending econopocalypse. Someone observed back in the late 90′s that if China kept buying US treasury bonds at the rate they were, they’d own them all by 2018. But as a result of our self-destruction as a country over the last fifteen years or so, this has become kind of a moot point. China is now routinely discussed as a possible replacement for America as the world’s next superpower. The US dollar as the global standard for currency exchange is no longer a de facto assumption, and the trade balance between the US and China is… well…let’s just say that if the two countries were Facebook friends, their status would say they’re “In a relationship, but it’s complicated”. But I’m not here to get granular about the specifics of China and the US in relation to global finance, I’m here to help ease you into the future, by pointing out in broad strokes the things that have made it more or less inevitable that soon we’ll all be celebrating the New Year in February, buying our groceries with Yuan, and speaking Mandarin. At least the smarter of us will be speaking Mandarin, anyway. You’re much more likely to end up in management that way. So if you need to bone up and take things beyond the “ni hao” and “xie xie” stage, they say Fluenz Mandarin language software is the latest and greatest. But it’s also almost 400 bucks (about 2500 Yuan), so you might want to check out the trusty old Rosetta Stone, at a mere 150 bucks (or 950 Yuan). Anyway, below are the things we did to ourselves, and the reasons you may just want to sign up for that Mandarin class NOW. Read the rest of this entry »

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