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[ 1 Comment ]Posted on November 30, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Monday, November 30th, 2009
Bulldozers, UFO Detectors, Anal Dilators, and Man to Man Gay Attraction Body Mist. All on Amazon.com!
 
Yes, we’re pulling out all the stops for your
Cyber Monday shopping fun on Amazon |
Everybody knows that the shopping that we do on Black Friday is really just a desperate attempt to get along with annoying relatives that are visiting for the holiday, which partly explains why per-shopper sales were down 8% from last year. The other reason those Friday sales were down is because everyone is slowly learning that the Monday after a holiday isn’t for getting back to work, it’s for shopping on line while getting paid. As a borderline socialist, I of course have mixed feelings about how much you shop today, but as an Amazon affiliate, I have a keen interest in helping you shop to your heart’s content. As long as you do it through our product links and search tools. To that end, I want to help you realize that Amazon sells more than books. Maybe you need some Liquid Ass Fart Spray
, or have been looking for that perfect product to help you Stop Eating Poop
. Or maybe you’ve been meaning to out yourself for a while, but haven’t had the nerve. Try some Man to Man Gay Attraction Body Mist
to get things rolling, and if it is your first time, consider pulling out all the stops and picking up a Dr.J Anal Dilator Kit. Yes, Amazon has it all. Thinking of starting a war, or a business? Why not order up a Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
or a NorTrac Bulldozer
? The bulldozer will be handy for clearing the lot for your Self-Contained Branded Drive-Thru Kit
. No more waiting in line at McDonald’s, and it’s only $89,000.00! Speaking of McDonald’s: as an American, you probably already know what fat looks like, but don’t let that stop you from picking up a Five-Pound Fat Replica
. Interestingly, the “Frequently Bought Together” suggestion on that page lists “Five-Pound Fat Replica, One-Pound Fat Replica, One-pound Muscle Replica“, which is probably pretty close to the average American’s fat-to-muscle ratio. Moving along, if you’re looking for a gift for the nutjob conspiracy theorist in you life, give them a little peace of mind with a professional UFO Detector
. As one customer shared in the reviews: “I purchased this item and am blown away by Read the rest of this entry »
[ Comments Off ]Posted on November 28, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Saturday, November 28th, 2009
We all have those moments during the holidays when we wish we had Jedi mind control powers. Well know we can, with some amazing high tech toys that are controlled by neural impulses!
 
You’d think if you had Jedi powers
you could make yourself not look
like a dork for the camera for a second
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During the holidays, we probably all have moments in which we wish we could use some kind of Jedi mind control to alter the course of events. Well, now you can! It’s funny that while many of us struggle with the remote control, there are games for kids that are based on using neural impulses as controllers. For the low budget (and the perhaps the low expectations) we have Star Wars Star Wars Force Trainer
. While it’s pretty cool, you might get bored with making a ball go up and down with your mind. You might as well drop the extra loot for Mattel’s Mindflex Game, which adds excitement to your balls by letting you build an obstacle course for them. And for the yuppie snob version of mind-control gaming, check out the OCZ Neural Impulse Actuator
, which is designed to complement your mouse as a game controller. If you’d rather your game controlled you (and if you’re a little mentally impaired) you might enjoy Bop It!
, which is a “modern-day, handheld Simon Says”, as the maker puts it. And if on top of your game telling you what to do, you like it to do all the thinking as well, check out the Radica 20 Questions Artificial Intelligence Game
. This has been around for a while, but if you haven’t seen it in action, you’ll be disturbed by its accuracy, and probably wonder if the game has microphones in it and is connected to a remote answer-generating center run by humans. It’s pretty freaky. Sophisticated technology is being put to use in a lot of kids’ games; toys like Xtractaurs
help brainwash your kids to accept genetic engineering by letting them do it themselves! If they hone their skills enough, maybe they can alter some hamsters and explore urban planning with the iMac-esque Zhu Zhu Hamster Funhouse
(Hamsters Not Included, although for a hundred bucks more, they they can be
*). Along those lines, if you fancy your kids to be more like media producers than consumers (and want them to actually use their brain a bit), there are toys like Ucreate Games & Artimation
and Ucreate Music
that let your kids mash up their own sound samples, images, and ideas to create games and music. If you think about it, raising a game developer might actually be a good retirement plan. For the kid (or nerdy adult) that has no friends (or maybe no arms), you could always pick up a Darth Vader Robotic Arm
and a couple of Force Action Lightsabers
. And lastly, since no game roundup is complete without something getting shot, we have the Duck Hunter Infrared Indoor Flying Duck Hunt Game
. By the way, if you enjoy shooting ducks, check out this post from a few weeks ago. In any case, I’m hoping my Jedi mind control has induced you to buy something with those Amazon links; we need the revenue. Know of any cool high-tech games we should look at? Feel free to share in the comments. Read the rest of this entry »
