Politics
« Older Entries | Newer Entries »The Terror Babies Of Texas & The Psychology Of Politics
[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 15, 2010 by admin in Politics
Sunday, August 15th, 2010The most rudimentary understanding of psychology explains a lot of what’s wrong with American politics. Even delusions of monster babies from the future that want to kill us.
Because most political dialogue amongst the citizenry these days instantly spirals downward into irrational, knee-jerk, and poorly-reasoned rants about terror, immigrants, socialism and taxes, we often fail to step back and look at the psychological underpinnings of politics in general. Looked at through such a framework, the basic forces at work are quite simple. It all goes back to Psych 101, where one learns that the leaders of any group of people – elected or not – are essentially replacements for our parents. When we’re children, the parental role is first replaced by our teachers and school officials, and later, as we gain more autonomy, by our bosses and other figures of authority, which for some may include some kind of spiritual guidance or deity. As you enter adulthood, if you aren’t the leader of some other type of group, like a business, social, or religious organization, you probably lack the audacity or strength of character to be a political leader. You will forever remain – at least metaphorically – in the role of a child. On the other hand, if you have a sense of self that makes you feel entitled to make decisions on behalf of others, regardless of whether or not you know anything about them, and if you have the communication and organizational skills necessary, your narcissistic tendencies will have the opportunity to flourish, and you stand a good chance of being a politician or some other kind of leader. All of which explains a lot about the dynamics of American politics today. Speaking metaphorically, our parents – who are supposed to provide us with a secure home, feed us, educate us, and guide us into self-sufficient responsible adulthood – have flown the coop. They’ve absconded with our allowance, blowing it on big parties, scandalous relationships, brawls with the neighbors , and half-baked schemes for rebuilding the shattered financial security resulting from their irresponsible behavior. And then, in their guilt and dysfunction, they’ve gone on and tried to point the finger at us , as if their inability to run the household is our fault. As kids, we don’t know how to react to all of this, so instead of calling them out for their shenanigans, we fight amongst each other like dysfunctional siblings. For their part, our “parents” know in their hearts that they’ve created the social and economic mess we’re all in, but are reacting like any parent would when they lose control of the kids. They’re shouting and relying completely on hyperbole to try and scare everyone back into line. Which only riles everyone up more, causing some of the kids to run away from home, others to mope around demanding that someone take care of them, and yet others to scream and shout that they have the solution, even though they’re the ones that most recently trashed the house. So is there a solution? Personally, I think some other families in the neighborhood are going to see a more prominent role in the community before we get our domestic squabbles worked out. Especially when our parents’ guilt and frustration is leading them to create nearly psychotic delusions of, for instance, imaginary terrorist babies. I’ve included a couple of clips below that demonstrate some of the metaphors I’m joking about here. Both clips are with the generally mild-mannered (and probably bleeding heart liberal) Anderson Cooper. Read the rest of this entry »
Facebook Politics – I Only Like You So I Can Hate You
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on August 12, 2010 by admin in Politics
Thursday, August 12th, 2010Why I quit voting and started “Liking”. And why I support the Palin/Quayle campaign of 2012.
I’ve discovered a new approach to political action that seems to confuse my friends, but which I’m confident will afford me endless hours of glee, and may lead to me never getting credit for creating the soon-to-be-popular phrase “I Only Like You So I Can Hate You”. I’ve joked a number of times recently that I’m drifting back toward the apolitical stance of my twenties, but somewhere inside, I knew that I was too addicted to America’s political shenanigans to be satisfied with simple satirical observation. So I’m doing the next best thing to voting: “LIKING”. One ironic side effect of the popularity of Facebook and their omnipresent “Like” button is that if, for instance, you find yourself for some ungodly reason looking at Sarah Palin’s Facebook page, you’ll notice you can’t make a comment on any of her surreal ramblings unless you “Like” her. So today, I did. Prompting a concerned friend to immediately comment with the astute observation that – and I quote – “in spite of appearances Ian, she’s not satire“. A short while later, I coincidentally saw Ben Quayle’s campaign video (also below) that’s been getting so much press today, and immediately “liked” him too, so I could misspell his name as I asked in the comments of his campaign page what a “Tax Cartel” was. Then, as I watched the clip again to make sure it wasn’t actually a Saturday Night Live clip like this one or some viral campaign, it hit me. The solution to all of America’s political woes. The Palin/Quayle campaign of 2012. My theory being that if they don’t win, they’ll at least siphon off enough “real” republican votes to give Obama another four years to figure out what the hell he’s doing before Newt Gingrich or somebody really scary runs. And if they do win, that’s a win for America too. As the nutjob teabagging Washington outsiders that they are, it’ll take them four years to even begin to figure out how to actually get anything done, and by then the global economic collapse caused by the Reagan/Bush/Clinton/Bush/Obama corporatocracy will have fully played out, and THEY’LL get the blame. Then we can all make a fresh start in 2016. So get on board the “I Only Like You So I Can Hate You” movement and help run the hugest campaign of subterfuge and disinformation in the history of politics. Read the rest of this entry »
269 Reasons Why Wyclef Shouldn’t Run For President Of Haiti
[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 6, 2010 by admin in Politics
Friday, August 6th, 2010Someone needs to tell Wyclef that Autotune doesn’t work on countries.
 Reason 269: This Hat |
How about every second of this video, which is basically an advertisement for a company that among other things tries to screw its own artists and sue its customers, and features the aging white master of third world exploitation famous for screwing pretty much every artist involved in the making of Graceland. Or maybe reason #268, which is that he may not qualify as a candidate anyway. I say this all in jest of course – who knows, maybe Wyclef as the president of Haiti is a great idea. Maybe the devastated island nation would actually benefit somehow from the excessive use of autotune. But joking aside, Wyclef as president of any nation sounds like a bad idea to me for the same reason that Bono, Bob Geldof, or Peter Gabriel as a nation’s leader sounds like a bad idea. No matter how much one may admire the artist or their philanthropic activities, they are still – at their core – people who made their living shilling corporate products in one of the most greed-driven and image conscious industries on the planet. What do YOU think? Is Wyclef as president a good idea? Read the rest of this entry »
Candidates That Make The Tea Party Look Like, Er, A Tea Party
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on July 28, 2010 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010A quick roundup of 2010 political campaigns fueled by Jesus, 9/11 conspiracies, and a poorly guaged Lithium prescription.
 Vote for Basil Marceaux, and he’ll “immune you from all state crimes for the rest of you life” |
I was recently lamenting the seriousness of American politics, but it appears the Patron Saint of Crazy has smiled upon us. The other day we talked about Alvin Greene, who campaigns as a Democrat for the US Senate when he’s not busy being an unemployed felon that lives with his mom, but it seems there’s a veritable epidemic of viral-campaign-ready loonies out there, with the infectious epicenters currently located in Tennessee and Michigan. In Tennessee, we have a heated gubernatorial race between Basil Marceaux, whose main pitch is “VOTE FOR ME AND IF I WIN I WILL IMMUNE YOU FROM ALL STATE CRIMES FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE” and James Reesor , whose Feet On The Street Reesor Sign Tour is built on a “95-county Grassroots campaign through Fast-food restaurants and car lots”. We won’t bore you with more copy that just regurgitates these candidates’ platforms; their slickly-produced videos deliver their messages much more eloquently and efficently. Video below. Read the rest of this entry »
Apple Gets EFFed In Court While Al Greene Runs For Senate
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on July 26, 2010 by admin in Politics
Monday, July 26th, 2010While both the EFF and Alvin Greene have scored their own little victories recently, we’re still waiting for the Alvin Greene Day & The Chipmunks mashup.
I love it when the day’s news converges in such a way that politics, pop media, copyright law, and comedy collide in an amorphous mass of inanely entertaining foolishness. Like today. While the EFF scored major victories allowing you to jailbreak your iPhone and remix YouTube video content, the PR firm “Frank Strategies” forced a YouTube takedown of the Alvin Greene campaign rap video because it used a few seconds of crappy Tea Party protest footage from one of their videos. Except it wasn’t actually Alvin Greene’s campaign video , and and you can still find it on YouTube, ironically on the Fixed News Channel, which parodies Fox News. If you haven’t followed this story, Alvin Greene is an unemployed felon who lives with his mom, who in spite of these minor handicaps was also the recent victor in the South Carolina Democratic U.S. Senate primary race. Many believe he was a GOP plant. Just another campaign season in America, I guess. Given the media mashup nature of this story, the biggest surprise here is that there still is no “Alvin Greene and the Chipmunks”* parody. Until then, the only Al Green video that gets my vote is featured below…. Read the rest of this entry »