Editorial & Opinion
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[ Comments Off ]Posted on May 27, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009Need we say more? For now, we only have a coffee mug on Cafe Press. Stay tuned.
Need we say more? For now, we only have a coffee mug on Cafe Press. Stay tuned.
WARNING: This Warning Sign Is Useless
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on May 23, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Saturday, May 23rd, 2009And the parody of it probably isn’t funny, either.
Signs are odd. People are often unlikely to do what they suggest – unless they were going to do it anyway – and in the case of safety signs, the person who’s careless enough to do the thing that the sign is warning them about is pretty unlikely to read the sign. And then there are the safety inserts on airliners, which do little more than terrorize those who are already afraid of flying. So we’ve decided we need a guerrilla sign campaign. There are lots of collections of amusing signs out there (and Japanese wii Manuals too), but it always seems that as soon as someone slaps the label “funny” on something, it isn’t. So help us out by using one of these tools to create something actually funny. First, we have a collection of “hazard” signs right here on Dissociated Press. Use the text box below the image to suggest a caption. You could also try this Warning Sign Generator or this Street Sign Generator . This tool at St Clair Signs offers a lot of choices, but you need to create a log-in. The thing is, it’s so easy to create these signs with even the most basic software, that there’s almost no reason to go looking for them. If you don’t agree, maybe you need a copy of Warning Signs For Idiots
It’s Monday. So Let’s Get On The Ball, Okay?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on May 18, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, May 18th, 2009This week, our Monday morning time-wasters get a new spin. Instead of trying to make you late for work, we’re here to help you get on the ball.
If you’ve come here for our regular monday morning time wasters, get ready, we’re throwing you a little curve ball. Although our intent is usually to prevent you from being on the ball on Monday, today we’ve mustered up the balls to do exactly the opposite. First, do you even know what a curve ball IS? This amazing illusion demonstrates why they appear to break so hard from the batter’s point of view. It also might make you a little dizzy if you haven’t had your coffee yet. As will the game Curve Ball, which is kind of like playing Pong in The Matrix. The game Dyson Ball kind of sucks, but what would you expect from a vaccuum cleaner promo? At least James Dyson had the balls to manufacture a new kind of vaccuum. Avoiding blue balls is the objective of this game, and just to show that we have a pair, here’s Red Ball, a simple physics-based game which, for no reason we can ascertain, “moos” when you fail. Don’t be cowed. We made it to level 11 pretty easily, if you want the password (just hover here). We’ve probably driven most readers away with that last round of puns by now, but please, sphere not. Before you get your balls in a sling with Sling Jumper, you can draw the line with Scriball. And you’ll probably never get to the bottom of things with GyroBall, but if you do, you can bounce back with Bouncy-Ball. See you round!
Simple But Non-Trivial Pursuit
[ Comments Off ]Posted on May 11, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, May 11th, 2009Trivial Pursuit is for sissies. This week’s Monday morning time-killers explore whether or not you can handle a NON trivial pursuit. If you can, maybe you can also tell us what the heck it actually means.
Out of over a trillion pages in Google’s index, you had to end up here. Our apologies. Odds are that with that many web pages in existence, a huge number of them will be a banal waste of your time. And that, in fact, is the objective of our Monday Demotivators. This week we’re going to explore simplicity and triviality, which is what you’re probably engaged in if you’re at work right now anyway. The difference is, we don’t pay you! But we’re wasting time. Let’s get rolling. On wasting more of it. The “Eight Queens Puzzle” is a classic example of a “simple but non-trivial” problem. Try arranging 8 queens on a chessboard in such a way that no two queens would be able to attack each other. There are 4,426,165,368 possible arrangements of eight queens on the board, but only 92 solutions. The image at left gets you 3/8 of the way there. Good luck. 3D Logic, a cube-based color pattern puzzle also appears rather simple at first. Things get a little hairy at level 6. Let us know if you get to the level where it tranforms into a 4-dimensional hypercube. We don’t know that it actually does that, but it sounds cool, doesn’t it? If you like your non-trivial simplicity in the form of word puzzles, try this: “A young woman goes to the funeral of her mother. There she meets a man whom she has never met before. She identifies him as the man of her dreams and immediately falls in love. Two days later she kills her sister. Why?” (We’ll post the answer in the comments if anyone asks.) And lastly, if you prefer trivial simplicity, we have some stick people for you. Sure, they’re simple. But when given the choice of killing them or saving their lives, do they still seem trivial? You decide. Hope you have a simple, non-trivial Monday!
Purrfectly Good Reasons To Miss Your Monday Meatings
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on May 4, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, May 4th, 2009Our usual Monday morning Flash game distractions, with an especially daunting challenge for our American readers: GEOGRAPHY.
Our Monday Demotivators have previously explored the mystery of why there are so many Flash games in which you do mean things to helpless animals, but you seem to enjoy this stuff so much we’re back with more. First up: Meowcenaries. Like so many of these games, it takes so long to load you’ll be ready to kill by the time it’s ready to play. This game is a little different, by the way, in that the violence is all cat-on-cat. If you’re looking for completely pointless human-inflicted cruelty, you’ll have to go shoot a puppy or something. Don’t get the wrong impression here though, I personally love animals. That’s why this week we’ll give equal time to PETA’s Cooking Mama Kills Animals game, designed to protest Nintendo’s Cooking Mama