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Purrfectly Good Reasons To Miss Your Monday Meatings

Topics: Editorial & Opinion | 1 CommentBy admin | May 4, 2009

Our usual Monday morning Flash game distractions, with an especially daunting challenge for our American readers: GEOGRAPHY.

Our Monday Demotivators have previously explored the mystery of why there are so many Flash games in which you do mean things to helpless animals, but you seem to enjoy this stuff so much we’re back with more. First up: Meowcenaries. Like so many of these games, it takes so long to load you’ll be ready to kill by the time it’s ready to play. This game is a little different, by the way, in that the violence is all cat-on-cat. If you’re looking for completely pointless human-inflicted cruelty, you’ll have to go shoot a puppy or something. Don’t get the wrong impression here though, I personally love animals. That’s why this week we’ll give equal time to PETA’s Cooking Mama Kills Animals game, designed to protest Nintendo’s Cooking Mama game, which PETA apparently feels exposes kids to ruthless meat murder unecessarily. Try the PETA game, and tell me which seems more brutal.  C’mon. Couldn’t you guys just offer up some vegetarian alternatives? Sheesh. We shouldn’t be surprised though, don’t forget that PETA is run by an insane woman whose will specifies that her body be used for a human barbecue and a line of accessories upon her death. Hmm. Is that even legal? Speaking of legal, we also have for you this morning Pick The Perp. Tips: Junkies always look sleepy, and drunks always look like they’re having fun when they get their mugshot taken. And lastly, as always, we have something for those of you like to actually use your brain on Monday morning. Though oddly, that would contraindicate having read this far. First we have Chroma Circuit, a pattern/color matching game. Pointless, but challenging. And since most of our visitors are American, we have what you will find to be an especially mind-boggling challenge: GEOGRAPHY. Start with (I know, it’s scary) The United States, and move on to the vast and barely charted territories of Canada, South America, Africa, and finally (gasp!) The Middle East.

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  1. Posted by » There’s More Than One Way To Stuff A Turkey - Dissociated Press on 11.27.09 4:51 pm

    [...] you can play while you pretend you’re just checking text messages or whatever. We’ve observed before that there’s an odd tendency for Flash games to focus on doing cruel things to helpless [...]