Scanning your butt on the copier just isn’t as much fun since all the year-end layoffs.

We quietly discontinued our Monday Demotivators a while back, partly because we figured that with the national unemployment rate hovering around 20%, there was no-one at work to actually avoid it. However, last week we got an e-mail from a regular visitor complaining that now that he’s the only one left in his cubicle farm, he needs time-wasters more than ever. So here are some quick holiday and winter themed time killers for you. Yeah, you could always Elf Yourself, but then you’re just advertising for Office Max without getting paid. Like we just did. Doh! For some reason, I’ve personally always loved Santa Toss. I think maybe it’s the yodeling, but there’s also a strange gratification in throwing Santa around, especially after all the times he’s let me down. And especially after the staff cuts he’s made. Yeah, it seems he fired all the Reindeer and replaced them with a chopper. As revenge, they cut a hole in the floor of it, and now the gifts are all over the arctic. Help him retrieve them with Present Hunter. I didn’t have much luck, but it was kind of fun crashing the helicopter 4 or 5 times. So, moving on…since there’s nobody around the office as a result of that year-end “force reduction”, you probably don’t get as much excitement out of scanning your butt on the copier as you used to. I mean, all the fun is in the excitement of doing it without getting caught, right? Well, bring back the thrills with Butt Scan. Unfortunately all that game does is let you scan your butt ’til you get fired, so it wears thin pretty fast. These holiday Flash games always have something violent or sexist to offer, so if you’re feeling a little cranky about the holidays, don your hockey mask and butcher knife and slaughter some helpless elves with Friday The 24th. And for the inevitable misogeny, touch a woman inappropriately to win imaginary money with Santa Girl. Tip: if you actually want to collect the money, touch her APPROPRIATELY. And if you found that last one especially offensive, don’t piss yourself over it. Pee in the snow instead. Because who doesn’t love peeing in the snow, and now you can even send a Pee-Mail! Here’s our little pee-mail message. We may be back next week with more holiday themed demotivators, so if you have any suggestions, pass them along. I’ll just be playing SnowCraft ’til then.

Send us a pee-mail!

As always, there’s a sexist twist. Tip: touch her appropriately if you want to (ahem) score:

Wanna fight? Just make sure you have the balls: