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Am I Still Hip If I Oppose Gay Marriage?

Topics: Lifestyle & Culture | 7 CommentsBy admin | November 1, 2008

And if Obama loses, is it Anthony Romero’s fault?

Sorry Anthony, your e-mail had
unintended consequences.

Note to self: if you ever go into politics, remember the law of unintended consequences. I recently received an e-mail from the ACLU in which Executive Director Anthony D. Romero shared the sad story of the results of his outing himself with his parents. He then went on to explain why I should be concerned about California’s Proposition 8, and the rights of gay people to get married in general. I was surprised (as I found myself seriously pondering this topic in-depth for the first time) what my more complicated thoughts on the subject really are. First, I want to say that I ADAMANTLY believe in an individual’s right to have whatever kind of relationship they like with whatever gender or species they desire, so long as both are consenting and in agreement. And although none of my friends do the interspecies thing, easily half of my friends are gay, be they men or women (and half of them will want to kill me when we get around to discussing this). What Romero’s plea highlighted for me is that I don’t think I really care if the government sanctions gay marriage, because, once I really pondered my feelings on the topic, I realized I also don’t think people should get tax breaks for being married in the first place, and I don’t think the government has any place putting their stamp of approval on such agreements. For one, what if your spiritual beliefs preclude seeking government sanction? Must you live the same life as another “married” person and not receive tax and other societal benefits? And almost as important: was this concept of tax breaks for the married not simply a way for the government to endorse a lifestyle choice in the first place? Sorry Anthony, you actually helped turn a moderate liberal slightly against your cause with one e-mail. And now, in fact, I’m a little angry that the focus on this topic (which I think falls a little lower on the “issues list”, given the state of education, health care, employment, and the impact of war) has made it a cakewalk for Republican strategists to turn “values voters” into rabid neo-cons on a single topic that isn’t even officially part of the party platform.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Beatrix on 11.01.08 2:26 pm

    Who ever said you WERE hip? No. You wouldnt be hip if you opposed gay marriage. Me and my partner probably would never get marries, but thats just cuz we have a hard time sorting out the “butch balance” as she calls it. :) RETHINK THIS!!!

  2. Posted by admin on 11.01.08 5:14 pm

    Hey “Beatrix”*, be nice or I’ll tell your girlfriend how you got the knowledge to make the “size” references in this comment a while back. Then you can rest assured she’ll NEVER marry you. But seriously, Since you can’t seem to come up with a rational argument for your point of view, I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll rethink my view if you TURN ON THE SPELLCHECK once in awhile.

    *I’m always going to put your nickname in quotes, and you know why. Don’t make me blow your cover…

  3. Posted by Dojo Nick on 11.01.08 10:08 pm

    This lil exchange helps show how hard is to expouse nuanced views on political issues these days. Reminds me of Dubyah’s bold “yer either with us or aginst us” proclamation. Wait a minute, did I just compare the comments of an openly gay person with s statement by our GOP president? It must be the Kool Aid I’ve been drinking.

  4. Posted by paul on 11.04.08 12:17 am

    This topic among many others are important but much much less important than many others as you say. My big one is the 51% of our taxes going to that 5 sided place. Start chipping at that and we may have something if you don’t get killed.

    Good piece… note to self… be careful of what I email Ian.

    enjoy and or peace… you choose.


  5. Posted by admin on 11.06.08 1:45 am

    Agreed, DojoNick. “Nuanced views” are rare these days. I had a very brief discussion the day before the election with someone who was voting for McCain. Although I was voting the other way, I love hearing people’s points of view, and having a spirited dialog. It’s one of the things I love about America – the diversity of thought. I asked the guy why he was voting for McCain, to which he replied “BECAUSE I DON’T BELIEVE IN SOCIALISM”. I wanted to suggest that he didn’t appear to believe in dictionaries either, but let it go…and Paul: I’m with you 100% on re-thinking defense spending. We could spend mere millions to be leading in energy innovation, and instead are spending billions to protect our embarrassingly archaic oil-based economy

  6. Posted by » Is Gay Marriage A Black & White Issue? - Dissociated Press on 05.28.09 10:08 am

    [...] this WTF, CALIFORNIA? graphic I created meant that I supported gay marriage. My stance on that is a little more complicated. I support any union based on love, but I’m not sure if I want the government meddling in it. [...]

  7. Posted by » Outrage Outs Hypocritical Gay Politicians - Dissociated Press on 10.05.09 7:01 am

    [...] about issues related to gay rights are usually a little more nuanced in my circles. I’m not sure I’m behind government approval of gay marriage, for example, but that’s because I’m not sure I believe in government PERIOD. [...]