|

Normal People vs. The People vs. George Lucas

[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 7, 2010 by admin in Popular Media

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Because we all know what happens when George Lucas gets his hands on a Storm Trooper. Or at least you South Park viewers do.


The 2009 Trailer. See The 2010 Trailer Below.

I have to admit that as much as I love film (and I DO love film, with a passion), there’s still a level of film fetishism that I don’t really grasp. Sure, I’ve watched Blade Runner over 200 times, but who in their right mind hasn’t? No, I have to draw the line at things like dressing up as a character from a film. At least when it’s not Halloween. Which is why I’ll never understand the legions of Star Wars Storm Troopers that convene on a regular basis, in full battle regalia, and at their own considerable expense. Or the people who maintain Wookieepedia. Or people that create web sites that tell you the best times to pee during a film. At the same time, I have to admire the dedication this kind of thing requires, especially in the case of the people behind a project like The People vs. George Lucas, the new documentary about the poor souls whose lives were destroyed by the numerous changes Lucas made to the original Star Wars Trilogy on re-release. The producers of the film put it this way: “The People vs. George Lucas explores the titanic struggle between a Godlike filmmaker and his legions of fans over the most popular franchise in movie history. At its core, PvsG is the examination of a high-profile, dysfunctional love story. George created this humongous and intricate sandbox for us to play in; but is he the sole owner of it, or does it now belong to the ages? And what happens to your role as a creator when your audience claims it owns your art? We basically looked at the conflicted dynamic between George and his fans from a cultural perspective, and asked ourselves those questions.” Although I’ve yet to see the film, I think a simpler assessment may be in order. Maybe it’s just a bunch of web-enabled misanthropic fanboys venting the rage that used to be confined to their smelly bedrooms, but which – thanks to the power of crowdsourcing – must now be endured by the entire world. I jest of course; it promises to be an amusing film, and makes its debut at SXSW 2010 the week of March 12. See the teasers above left and below. Read the rest of this entry »

Top Ten Disappointing Technologies, Part I

[ 2 Comments ]Posted on June 18, 2009 by admin in Technology

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Arthur C. Clarke said that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I’m not feeling the magic.

Anti Gravity

Stephen Hawking Understands
The Gravity of the Situation

This, for some reason, remains my single greatest disappointment regarding technology. Usually, when scientists develop detailed mathematical descriptions of natural phenomena, they’re able to – in at least some small way – demonstrate the truth of them. Although I once had to explain to an otherwise intelligent friend that the Vomit Comet was not in fact an example of anti-gravity, most of us know that anti-gravity remains a technological chimera. The closest science comes to demonstrating an understanding of anti gravity is to describe its opposite, by saying things like “See that thing that’s falling? I have some amazing math that will tell you how fast it will do so”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Demotivators: The Mormon Edition

[ 2 Comments ]Posted on April 6, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Monday, April 6th, 2009

Our ongoing attempt to make you late for work on Monday. Now with added MORMON GOODNESS.

If you’re here for our traditional Monday Demotivators, be patient while we take time out for a spirtual message. I’m not generally one to make light of other people’s faith, but I’ll occasionally make an exception. Today is the anniversary of the repeated founding of the Mormon church. Yes, repeated; it seems they had some trouble at the beginning, and since they believe Jesus was born on April 6 (betcha didn’t know there’s a Mormon Wikipedia!), they keep starting it on the same date. I’ll let the Mormons do all the footwork. Just read their history (or watch the classic South Park episode, they hit the key facts) and that should occupy enough time to accomplish our objective of making you late on Monday. Once you’ve wasted part of your morning learning the teachings of the prophet Moroni, we’ll still be here with the annoying game links. First up: this isn’t really a game, but it’s kind of fun. Someone has devoted an entire blog to posting the amusing results of Google’s autocomplete function. It is kind of interesting that when you type “is mast” in Google’s search box, it immediately knows you’re wondering “is masturbation bad?” Which is a nice segue into our first game: The Great Sperm Race. Much like life itself, just work hard, focus, and try not to get bogged down in the slime, and at the end, you’ll wonder if the reward was worth it all. Kamikaze Race sounds like it might be exciting, but the only thing it has in common with a real Kamikaze pilot is that your death is inevitable, and the pursuit of it will require more patience and devotion than you think. Hero Hoops is like brain dead basketball for white boys. Just remember two tips: 1.) He moves like the white boy that he is, get used to it, and 2.) You can’t throw a ball if you’re not holding one. Sonny 2 makes you wonder what “Sonny 1″ must’ve been like, if this is the advanced version. You spend a ton of time getting elaborate intructions about the single simple move your guy can make when he finally does get to do something. Ultimately, you’re more likely to attack your computer for tricking you into pastimes like this. Likewise with Crow In Hell. If you have the patience, I bet there’s a game in there somewhere. On the same note, Perfect Balance Playground is a mildly amusing physics-based game, but it’s hard to figure out what the motivation really is. Here’s a whole collection of physics-based games, if you’re into that kind of thing. But we know you all prefer first person shooters, so here we go. Battlefield Heroes shows just how tough provincial Europeans really are. Every time you shoot one, they just say “Ow” in a Minnesota accent. I just want to remind you that as usual, I do this all for you. Give me a game of Pong and I’m good to go.

MTV Raises Programming IQ With “How’s Your News?”

[ 2 Comments ]Posted on February 6, 2009 by admin in Popular Media

Friday, February 6th, 2009

If I’d known this crew was covering the Grammies, I might’ve actually tuned in this year…

Tired of the vain stupidity of the typical entertainment or news show hosts employed by major networks? Shake up your perception of television news with MTV’s new program How’s Your News?, hosted by people with disabilities. I have a sister with Down Syndrome (probably one of the nicer people I know) and I’m a bit of a ‘tard myself, so it’s refreshing to see a program like this. The potential for appearing to be exploitive is incredibly high, but as one of the creators (Matt Stone, of South Park fame) has been quick to point out: “We weren’t worried about being associated with them, we were worried about them being associated with us“. If I’d known this crew was covering the Grammies, I might’ve actually tuned in this year (see clip featured at left). After years of MTV basing most of their programming on “normally abled” people who act like retards, it’s a bold and dicey move (and probably a step up in quality) to air a show like this. Inspired by the 1999 film How’s Your News?, the program debuts Sunday, February 8. See the MTV trailer here. I’d love to see the “Where’s Your News?” crew cover “disability rockers” Heavy Load.

The Internet: It’s Not Just For Stupid Questions

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on December 6, 2008 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

Things to do with your hands besides dating Miss Michigan

In spite of the fact that people seem to rely on the Internet a lot to answer questions, even disturbingly basic ones like where should I live? or what should I read next? or do vaginas seal up with disuse? The fact is, the real purpose of the Internet is to waste time. One good way to do this is by using one of the millions of sites that let you upload images and text to make signs that no-one thinks are funny except you. One of the originals was Demotivators (see my Serenity poster, left), but there are many, many more. Says-It.com has everything from church sign generators to self-cutting generators. If you really “heart” someone, there’s an I heart [whatever] site. Or maybe you’d like to put yourself on the cover of Time, or  customize a movie poster. Or do more personalized editing, like they offer at Pizap.  But what if you don’t have web access? I recently spent a lot of time in waiting rooms with no wireless available. Not to worry! I learned you can waste time without the Internet. Imagine…with only your hands, you could stage a shadow puppet show with music (something Cartman of South Park understands very well). And here are a few things you probably shouldn’t do with your hands (and no, that doesn’t link to a “dating Miss Michigan” reference).

|