My Job Is To Make You Late For Yours
[ 6 Comments ]Posted on January 12, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, January 12th, 2009If We’re Doing Our Job, You Aren’t
We’ve had so few visitor comments lately that I can’t guage if these Monday Demotivators are doing their job, or if it’s just that no-one’s reading any more. I hope it’s the former. As I’ve said before, I don’t enjoy the darn games myself, I just take perverse glee in the idea of making you late for work if I can. So here we go. If you’re still in a pre-caffeinated state, Flubber Rise might be the place to begin. Just keep clicking the little Flubber guy. Remember, as the game says: “Flubber fountains make you grow!” I can’t believe I just typed that. What’s maybe even scarier is that you’re reading it. Next up: Dodge. Crap, I actually enjoyed that one. You just, well, DODGE stuff. On the other hand, Colordefense is evil. Move a tri-colored circle around so the colors match the color of the little squares attacking you. Simple enough, except the bastard that created the game made it so you use your W, A, S, and D keys to move around. Speaking of “the other hand”, maybe if you’re sinistral, Colordefense is easier to play. Let me know, lefties. Moving on, does the adjective “xtreme” bother you as much as it bothers me? Try xTreme Ball Racing anyway. I’m not really into racing little balls in real life, but this game’s visuals made me a little dizzy, which is something I DO enjoy for some reason. Just avoid the blueballs. Er, I mean, the blue balls. And lastly, for those who insist on using their brain a little, we have Gravitat. Kind of like an overwhelming version of Tic-Tac-Toe, but with gravity.
First Person Shoe-ter Games Featuring George Bush
[ 10 Comments ]Posted on December 17, 2008 by admin in Politics
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008Flashe Shoe Throwing Games With Bush
Someday, the guy that threw the shoes at Bush will be an iconic figure, like the man facing the tank in Tiannemen Square . For now though, while he’s in an undisclosed location for Bush administration-style interviews, he’ll have to settle for being immortalized in Flash games. Getting the most attention (probably because of the clean graphic style) in spite of sucking as a game is Bush Boot Camp, proving that banjo soundtracks don’t always make a game funny. The eponymously-named (I love saying that; bring it on grammar nazis!) That Guy Totally Threw A Shoe At President Bush: The Game at least uses shoes instead of rifle cross-hairs to aim. Use the spacebar as needed to duck and reload. My Norwegian is a little rusty, or I’d explain in detail what the finer points of this game are. I think you’ll figure it out though. And in Flying babush, you get to be Bush and try to duck. Probably more amusing than all these games (after all, there are only so many ways you can throw two shoes) is this collection of animated graphics. On with shoe! Yes. I said that.