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My Job Is To Make You Late For Yours
Topics: Editorial & Opinion | 6 CommentsBy admin | January 12, 2009
If We’re Doing Our Job, You Aren’t
We’ve had so few visitor comments lately that I can’t guage if these Monday Demotivators are doing their job, or if it’s just that no-one’s reading any more. I hope it’s the former. As I’ve said before, I don’t enjoy the darn games myself, I just take perverse glee in the idea of making you late for work if I can. So here we go. If you’re still in a pre-caffeinated state, Flubber Rise might be the place to begin. Just keep clicking the little Flubber guy. Remember, as the game says: “Flubber fountains make you grow!” I can’t believe I just typed that. What’s maybe even scarier is that you’re reading it. Next up: Dodge. Crap, I actually enjoyed that one. You just, well, DODGE stuff. On the other hand, Colordefense is evil. Move a tri-colored circle around so the colors match the color of the little squares attacking you. Simple enough, except the bastard that created the game made it so you use your W, A, S, and D keys to move around. Speaking of “the other hand”, maybe if you’re sinistral, Colordefense is easier to play. Let me know, lefties. Moving on, does the adjective “xtreme” bother you as much as it bothers me? Try xTreme Ball Racing anyway. I’m not really into racing little balls in real life, but this game’s visuals made me a little dizzy, which is something I DO enjoy for some reason. Just avoid the blueballs. Er, I mean, the blue balls. And lastly, for those who insist on using their brain a little, we have Gravitat. Kind of like an overwhelming version of Tic-Tac-Toe, but with gravity.
Posted by John Minock on 01.12.09 9:35 am
too busy with previous demotivators to post.
Posted by Dojo Nick on 01.12.09 11:59 pm
I finally got through all the levels of Karoshi Suicide Salaryman, so here I am, looking for another way to waste a week of evenings…
Posted by admin on 01.13.09 12:21 am
Phew. Thanks for speaking up. After six weeks of writing about holidays I didn’t celebrate and drinking I didn’t do, the process of finding and writing about games I didn’t play had me at the end of my tether.
Posted by Dojo Nick on 01.13.09 11:07 pm
What’s bothering me is how little ingenuity it takes to get me completely addicted to a game. Tether is stooopid, but I just wasted a bunch of time playing. I’m not hooked, but I have spent about 2 hours playing BLOONS, that ridiculous game where I am a monkey, I have darts, and there are balloons. Egad.
Posted by Dojo Nick on 01.14.09 12:38 am
Moreover, the background music in Gravitat reminds me of some of the guitar noodling we used to do in the 80′s. Darn it, another hour wasted!
Posted by admin on 01.14.09 2:18 pm
Wow DojoNick – it DID sound eerily familiar, but I would’ve never pegged it for that until you pointed it out. Indeed: set your BOSS Phaser on “stun”, your A/DA Flanger on “weed-induced fugue state”, and the delay on “11″…voila!