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Let’s Play Dunk The Dick

[ Comments Off ]Posted on February 16, 2010 by admin in Politics

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

If Dick Cheney loves waterboarding so much, I think he should subject himself to it on Sunday TV.

Dick Cheney LOVES
him some waterboardin’

I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I wish Dick Cheney would just shut up. It’s not because I have some airy-fairy liberal stance that as a former vice president, protocol dictates that he shouldn’t speak in ways that undermine a sitting president’s actions; this Slate piece does a nice roundup of other former executive branch members who couldn’t keep their mouths shut either, and frankly, one of the worst in this regard was former democratic president Jimmy Carter. No, for me it’s a few other things. One is that I just get sick of seeing that hideous little face of his. Another is that I get sick of hearing about him when he makes some childish and angry remark on Sunday TV, and that’s all my liberal friends talk about for a week. But perhaps most importantly, it’s because I’m sick of a self-serving, sociopathic, sadistic prick trying to take on the mantle of dignified statesman, and getting airtime to do it. It would be a lot easier to tolerate statements like “I was a big supporter of waterboarding” if I knew he had at least tried it once. A different self-serving prick who gets on my nerves tried it, and although I’ll continue to disagree with lots of other things he says, I won’t take issue with his stance on that topic. So please Dick, do us a favor. You’ve already carved out your legacy with a Dickipedia entry and a place on Time’s Worst Vice Presidents list. Please, just shut up and get back to your other hobbies like running corporations that support rape and shooting your friends in the face.

Why I’m Proclaiming Myself Emperor Of The Known Universe

[ Comments Off ]Posted on November 19, 2009 by admin in Politics

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

DEMOCRACY is just an acronym for Deliberate Entitled Manipulation Of Citizens’ Right to Accurately Counted Yearnings

I’d like to propose a new word and a new acronym for use in politics. The word is “pretesident”. In the states, we’re all familiar with that guy who became president for two consecutive terms by actually losing the elections, and who, once in office, had the nerve to not even be in charge, but instead “played Lamb Chop” to his advisors’ Shari Lewis. What we haven’t heard much about are a few other pretesidents around the world. Recently, one took office in Afghanistan without much uproar, in spite of rather clear evidence that the election was rigged. A little ironic, because he was chosen by our former puppet to uphold democracy and replace the Taliban. In Mexico, we have The Legitimate President of Mexico. He’s not actually the legitimate president of Mexico, he’s just another guy who lost what was probably another rigged election, but has the nerve to run around saying “I’m The Legitimate President of Mexico“. For a little more depth, see this Wall Street Journal piece. And soon, we’ll have the President of the European Union. There have been rumors that it’ll be that Bush administration butt-lick Tony Blair, and those ballsy EuroLeaders not only aren’t letting the people vote on it, they’re not even telling how they make the selection. With all these “pretesidents” running around, I’m surprised ol’ Dick hasn’t claimed the title of Emperor or something. I mean, George Lucas already gave it to him, he might as well take it and run with it. Which brings me at last to the acronym I referred to earlier. It’s D.E.M.O.C.R.A.C.Y., and it stands for “Deliberate Entitled Manipulation Of Citizens’ Right to Accurately Counted Yearnings”.

Brewing Discontent: Since When Is The GOP Anti-Deficit?

[ Comments Off ]Posted on April 15, 2009 by admin in Politics

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

While liberals kick back with their lemon-grass tea, conservatives brew theirs with Astroturf…

I shouldn’t be as astounded as I am that the GOP has once again taken ownership of a public sentiment that has absolutely no real foundation in a partisan stance. Tell me. Who in America (besides a bunch of bailed out bank executives) is NOT angry that tax dollars are being funneled into a mind-boggling array of government subsidizing of business and bailouts of epic business failures? And more importantly, how the hell did the GOP spin this out so cleverly and so quickly into their issue, when it is, plain and simple, their fault? This is the party that from Reagan to Cheney has said that deficits don’t matter. And now, suddenly, deficits are a horrible monster created by Barack Obama. The GOP is even benefitting from the humor and confusion that a typical witty liberal will enjoy when watching a pun-laden rant against tea parties, as in the MSNBC clip featured at left. Who’s behind this masterpiece of Astroturfing? Mostly the conservative lobby groups Freedom Works and Americans for Prosperity. Nice job, Dems. Read the rest of this entry »

It All Comes Out In The End…

[ Comments Off ]Posted on December 28, 2008 by admin in Comics

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

…at least Dick Cheney hope so.

We Bought The Farm, Now He’s Selling The Ranch

[ Comments Off ]Posted on December 25, 2008 by admin in Politics

Thursday, December 25th, 2008

A Kinder, Snugglier Legacy For George Bush?

A Kinder, Snugglier Legacy?

It’s too bad George Bush didn’t like reading the newspaper as president. If he had, he might have realized what a horrible person he’d been much sooner, and wouldn’t be apologizing for it now. Not that he didn’t have plenty of help from his Constitution-shredding “co-president” , and the revolting gasbag he affectionately refers to as Turd Blossom. So he’s selling the infamous Rancho De Relaciones P├║blicas and moving back to his native suburban environment, which apparently makes a few people happy. But where does the end of the eight-year-empire leave us as people and a country? Will we do anything to address the crimes the Bush administration has committed? There are plenty of reasons to impeach Bush and Cheney; are we just going to move along like a big dysfunctional family as if nothing ever happened? Part of me wants to do that, but part of me feels like not addressing what has happened will encourage other megalomaniacs to repeat the pattern. What do you think?

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