Econopocalypse Tip #1: Living In Your Car
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 25, 2008 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Saturday, October 25th, 2008Mobile Homes: They’re not just for Hillbillies any more.
With global economic collapse descending upon us and people already living in L.A.’s version of Hooverville, learning how to not live in the house you never owned anyway might be a good start for your new lifestyle. Jalopnik offers Ten Cars You Can Live In After Your Home Is Repossessed, but the list isn’t very practical, and is a little weak on humor as well. Wikis to the rescue: This How to Live in Your Car Wiki not only covers the basics, but goes into finer details, like how to “safely defecate outdoors and make a poop tube”. Hmm. Too bad PoopTube.com is already taken. This Motive Mag piece also covers a lot of practical points once you’ve made the “mi casa es mi coche” commitment. And The Onion, so often disturbingly prescient with their satire, was way ahead on this one in the 2003 piece Living Out Of Your Car Is A Dying Art, which lambasts those that claim they’ll have a job and a home soon, pointing out that old pros knew how to keep “our chins up and our hopes down”. If you’re REALLY thinking ahead (and have $70,000+) the N55 Walking House is the perfect solution for those annoying floodwaters caused by all that global warming that doesn’t exist.
Silly Billionaire Doesn’t Realize Economy Was Fixed Last Weekend
[ Comments Off ]Posted on October 14, 2008 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008George Soros on the Economic Crisis
In these troubled financial times, it’s refreshing to hear a successful financial expert (George Soros is worth about $7 billion) talk commonsensically about the current economic crisis. Except that he’s basically saying that we’re completely screwed. If you have about six minutes, watch this Bill Moyers interview, in which Soros basically says that the extreme form of capitalism that we’ve been playing with (he calls it free-market fundamentalism) could lead to the end of the human race. He balances that seemingly extreme notion with more common-sense talk about how capitalism and socialism have something in common that could make either one succeed or fail catastrophically, i.e.: the human element. He distills that “human element” down to the sense of social responsibility possessed by the leaders of a given society, not only during a time of crisis, but in the ongoing management of the society.
Crisitunity: Making The Best Of Impending Global Economic Collapse
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on October 7, 2008 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008***
 This man is not “laughing all the way to the bank”. He’s actually on his way to buy a loaf of bread. |
Since the world’s about to end, I started looking around the Internet for what to do about it. I didn’t find much, so I decided to start a list of my own. If you have any ideas to share, feel free to add a comment. Here’s a start: 1.) Pray. It’s just one of those things poor people do, okay? 2.) Re-acquire a taste for your favorite Ramen recipe from college. 3.) Buy a wheelbarrow. In about a year you’ll need it to carry cash for grocery trips. 4.) Think Big. Start conceptualizing the New New Deal, and move to D.C. while prices are low. 5.) Learn Spanish. It’ll make migrant work much more rewarding. 6.) Learn Chinese. It’s always easier having your country repossessed if you speak the new language. 7.) Get used to your boss yelling things like “Get back down in that mine, filthy coal monkey!” 8.) Walk the 50 miles (the distance USED to make sense, dammit) to the retirement home and ask your grandparents what the hell THEY did when there was no cable. [Originally posted September 21, 2008]
Explanatory Comics For Commie Economics
[ Comments Off ]Posted on September 25, 2008 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Thursday, September 25th, 2008If you can’t trust a stick figure, who CAN you trust?
It’s a little frustrating that at a time when America could use some explanations about what’s going on with this historic financial crisis, the people best positioned to help are most likely to lie. However, in a strange fit of honesty, a Treasury spokeswoman quoted in this Forbes.com piece said “It’s not based on any particular data point” – referring to the $700 Billion figure being tossed around – adding: “We just wanted to choose a really large number.” Nice. This Wall Street Journal piece points out that if you want some answers, just ask John McCain. Reminding us that aside from the fact that many of his friends on the Straight Talk Express are the same guys that caused this mess, he has the experience of that Keating Five stuff under his belt. The only really sane and comprehensible explanations I’ve seen though, have come from pretty strange sources. First of all, there’s a sort of stick-figure PowerPoint here. Kind of long, but thorough, and easy to follow. This next one is is likely to have porn ads on the page and link to other rather risque stuff, so click at your own risk. It’s a REALLY long, but is a funny and simplistic explanation posted as a forum thread on Imagechan.com (again, probably NSFW).
Hank Paulson To America: “Buy My Shitpile”
[ Comments Off ]Posted on September 23, 2008 by admin in Politics
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008I goy us here, I CAN GET US OUT!
Most Americans aren’t reacting too positively to this whole “let’s bail out the rich guys” idea. Maybe because the bill includes things like: “Sec. 8. Review. Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.” Well, we’re on to your shenanigans, Hank. That’s why someone set up BuyMyShitpile.com, where the government can give that 700 bil to YOU AND ME and let us heal the economy the good old-fashioned way, by frittering it away as consumers! BuyMyShitpile.com even lets you add your own items with images. Note: Hank’s also been sending this scam e-mail around. Be vigiliant!