I can’t even begin to express how excited I am about the possibility of Newt Gingrich running for president in 2012. This is an even more exciting possibility than the Palyn/Quail ticket we’ve been petitioning for. See? I’m so excited I’m using prepositional endings! Unless you’ve been living under a rock like some kind of (ahem) newt or something, you’ve probably heard about Mr. Gingrich’s exploratory website*  for the 2012 election. You know, the one that used the stock photo from an old Ted Kennedy site, instantly spawning a new internet meme based on putting the “awkward prom couple” photo in front of stock photos. If you’re wondering why Newt and Callista – the brittle porcelain princess by his side – look so awkward, it’s probably in part due to the fact that they’re worried about falling off the box they’re standing on. But let’s not be so superficial here. It’s more likely that they’re worried about falling from the massive pile of hypocrisy that their relationship is built upon. You may remember that Newt was leading the morality brigade that tried to destroy the Clinton presidency with a multimillion dollar impeachment travesty that was based on accusing Clinton of two things that are fundamental to political life: cheating on your wife, and lying about it. What never got much press was the fact that Gingrich himself was cheating on his wife while leading the charge. In fact, of the three wives he’s had, the only one he hasn’t been caught cheating on is the current one, who is herself the fling that ended his last marriage. In a compelling display of the Jungian Shadow at work, Newt explains in this interview on the Christian Broadcasting Newtwork that “there’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.” Note that unlike Richard Nixon or Bob Dole, who would at least use their own names to put themselves in the second person, Gingrich absolves himself of all responsibility for his actions with the phrase “things happened in my life“. Which is generally how he discusses the topic. Add to this hypocrisy and exemption of self from moral repercussion the fact that the guy is a compulsive liar who fabricates fiction faster than Steven King, and you have what should be considered a consummate politician, i.e.: a two timing, hypocritical liar. If Gingrich and Palin are even remote contenders in the 2012 primaries, stock up on the popcorn. This should be more entertaining than watching Fox News. Oh. Wait. It practically will be Fox News.

*Don’t mix up that address. Newt’s site is newtexplore2012.com. If you go to ExploreNewt2012.com, it currently redirects to a YouTube video about newts. Don’t know what a “newt” is?

newt
–noun
1.) a stupid person; a dull and uninteresting person.
2.) small, lizard-like amphibian

Origin – M.E.evete, O.E. efte, efeta “small lizard-like animal”

By the way, Newt has reviewed a heck of a lot of books on Amazon, but apparently hasn’t read anything since 2008.