Archive for August, 2010

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Is The Printed Book Dead?

[ 3 Comments ]Posted on August 27, 2010 by admin in Popular Media

Friday, August 27th, 2010

The “is it dead” question gets pretty tedious, until it becomes a reality, as with newspapers. Is the death of the book imminent? If you answer that question with a resounding “no”, I’d bet a nickel you’re over forty.


Not surprisingly, this title is
only available for the Kindle

Is it dead yet? Is the Internet dead? Is Facebook dead? If you spend enough time on the web, this kind of question becomes incredibly tedious. See The Tragic Death of Practically Everything if you don’t know what I mean; it’s a tidy roundup of press about the death of everything from iPods to e-mail, including the death of both print and eBooks. Now that would be a tragedy. If that happened, what would we read, especially now that the iPad is killing the magazine (and 18 other things) as well? As a result of all this kind of linkbait content flooding the web, I actually find it refreshing when one of these deaths is more or less confirmed. Especially when it impacts me directly. It wasn’t too long ago that you could debate whether newspapers are dead, but I think the eulogy is being delivered as you read this. And now, at last, I think the real death of the printed book is imminent. Although as recently as September 2009 I was pondering the pros and cons of eBooks vs their dead tree counterparts, a few pieces of information finally tipped the scales for me recently, which was a relief, because I’m nearly finished with a book myself, and was struggling a bit with how to market it. The fact that there’s an iPad vs Kindle debate going on at all is a powerful statement that those who understand books and making money are committed to the future of the eBook. But what is probably informing my decision even more is the wealth of information about how much money you DON’T make in traditional publishing. My first glimpse into this was this article from last year in which the author of a top 20 NYT bestseller shares that she netted about 27 grand for her troubles. And most recently, influencer and media guru Seth Godin said that in spite of his significant success with traditional publishing, he’s giving it up for his future releases. Which has helped me solidify my plan to forgo the traditional publishing route (unless you can introduce me to Ellen or Oprah) and utilize a mix of guerrilla marketing and the web, with print on demand solutions to satisfy the paper-addicted. I often joke that with certain technologies like landline phones you need only wait for the over-fifty crowd to die and the technology will die with them, but books are much more emotional. What do you think? Will the book be joining its distant cousin the newspaper within say, a decade? And if your answer is a resolute “no”, are you over forty? Read the rest of this entry »

Palin-Quayle 2012: Everybody’s GOP Dream Ticket

[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 25, 2010 by admin in Politics

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

There’s no refudiating that folks on both sides of the aisle feel a Palin-Quayle GOP ticket in 2012 would be a dream come true. Buy a bumper sticker and help us dream up more slogans.


Get the insanely overpriced
bumper sticker
while supplies last

One thing we can all probably agree on is that Washington could use some fresh blood. That’s why we’re so excited about the new GOP superstar Ben Quayle’s recent win in the Arizona congressional primaries. We think the brilliant 33 year old was spot-on with his observation that aging Washington insider Barack Obama is the worst president in history, a fact that so-called “scholars” absurdly try to refudiate. We think Ben’s platform based on “that guy’s the WORST” and “I’m gonna knock the hell out of Washington” is exactly what America needs, and that his recent victory points in only one direction: The White House. In spite of our confidence that when he’s old enough, he’ll be prepared to be the leader of the free world, the sad fact is that in 2012, he won’t be. Old enough, that is. Which is why the obvious choice to head the ticket is the seasoned political hand of Sarah Palin. We think citizens and legislators on both sides of the aisle agree that this is an absolute dream ticket for the GOP in 2012. Frankly, the only problem with the GOP ticket in 2008 was that John was too old, and everyone’s fantasy was for Sarah to be on top. To show our support for the 2012 GOP dream we can all believe in, we’ll be rolling out a line of promotional items, but for now all we have is a bumper sticker . Which at the insane price of six bucks even WE can’t afford. But grab these limited edition Cafe Press items while you can, because we’ll be looking for a service that gives us a wholesale price that isn’t 300% of normal retail, and then these items will be collectibles. Feel free to share any clever slogans of your own; we won’t share the profits of course, but you’ll have the personal satisfaction of helping bring this country the leadership it desperately needs. Read the rest of this entry »

Skidoo The Movie: Like Jackie Gleason On Acid

[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 24, 2010 by admin in Popular Media

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

Because, well, it IS Jackie Gleason on acid. If you like 60′s films like The Party, The President’s Analyst, Barbarella, or Head, you’ll love Skidoo. Good luck finding a copy though.


Strangely, the poster is
available on Amazon

It had been a long time since I had thought of the game Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon. That is, until a friend recently turned me on to a production starring (among others; more on that further on) Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, and Cesar Romero. Sounds like an episode of the Batman TV series, right? Well if you add Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Mickey Rooney, Slim Pickens, and Groucho Marx in his final appearance in film, you have Skidoo, creating one of the weirder nexuses possible in the six degrees game. I have no idea how I managed to make it this far in life without having seen this star-studded masterpiece of late sixties psychadelic wackiness. It’s like Jackie Gleason on acid, because, well, it stars Jackie Gleason – on acid. Along with just about everyone else at one point in the film. The cast alone makes this flick worth watching, but you’ll especially enjoy it if you’re into other movies from 1967/68, a couple of years when it seems someone must have been pret-ty busy running around Hollywood spiking the punch and baking brownies. Movies like Head, The President’s Analyst, The Party, Barbarella, and Casino Royale. There’s also a ton of interesting background story relating to the movie. It was produced and directed by the legendary Otto Preminger, who – in an amusing twist on the connections mentioned above – played Mr Freeze in the Batman TV series once. And only once; apparently he wasn’t too popular on set. Also worthy of note is that aside from being Groucho’s last film, he tried LSD before taking the role, feeling that it would be irresponsible to play a character named “God” in what was essentially a pro-LSD propaganda film without having tried the stuff. Good luck finding a copy of Skidoo; although it’s been broadcast on cable and bootlegged, the only copy we could find was a poorly-seeded torrent that is apparently a really bad copy of an old Beta tape. Read the rest of this entry »

We Are All Prostitutes – Everyone Has Their Price

[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 23, 2010 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

And ours is pretty low. Learn how you can peddle influence and curry favor with Dissociated Press for as little as five dollars.


This is not a prostitute. This is a Hooker.

We talk a lot about the demise of journalistic integrity here on Dissociated Press. We in fact probably contribute to it daily with our shoddy writing, weak fact checking, re-purposing of content, and lack of an actual editor. In spite of our concern about this issue, that doesn’t mean we don’t like making money, which is why we’re launching a funding drive. In the interest of transparency and serving the public good, we’ve created some donor levels so that you can know exactly where your donations are going, and feel good about them. This whole scenario could of course have been avoided if more people would show support for our sponsors by clicking on their links once in awhile, or buying the amazing things we recommend on Amazon or iTunes, but no. Our content is our gift to the world that didn’t ask for it. Unfortunately, as our traffic grows, our hosting company’s bill is their gift to us. Learn below how easy it would be to rent, own, or pwn us. Read the rest of this entry »

Understanding Rap Music

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on August 22, 2010 by admin in Music

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

You can learn about a lot of things by researching them on the web. Rap music isn’t one of them. But GoogleRaps is here to help.


Google Rap Maps. Is there
anything
Google can’t do?

When someone asks me, “do you like rap music?”, I’m never quite sure what to say. Do I try to clarify their question by saying “You mean those audio recordings of rhyming rhythmic monologues about killing, misogyny, drug deals, narcissism, sexual organs, racism, and egoistic persecution complexes?” To which the answer would be “Um…no.” Unfortunately, that’s what a lot of people think of when they think of rap, so if you say “Sure, I like rap” then you risk being pigeonholed as someone who hates women and thinks shooting people is a noble way to resolve a dispute. And if you’re white, you’ll be subject to the additional assumption that not only do you approve of these behaviors, but you do so by co-opting the values of an oppressed subculture. My actual answer to the original question is probably something like “Yeah, I like rap music. GOOD rap music”, going on to explain what a useless term “rap” is. Using information from the internet does nothing to clarify the issues at hand. Wikipedia has a dry description of rapping that suggests that “rap” may be etymologically derived from “repartee” and then goes on to talk about things like the early influence of The Memphis Jug Band, but the term “rap” redirects to “hip hop”. Which in my opinion muddles the definition beyond belief, since the page itself defines rap as being merely one of the four “key stylistic elements” of hip hop. Yeah. Whatever. There are also a lot of sites that attempt (and mostly fail) at meta-ironic humor based on “whitefying” the meaning of rap lyrics, like SnacksAndShit.com or Underground Hip Hop For Dummies . One example: Lyrics from Krizz Kaliko’s Get Cha Life Right – ” I ain’t trying to be Bill Gates, I’m trying to be the nigga Bill Gates hates.” Translation – “Here’s one goal which is impossible and another goal which is not that hard and wildly unambitious”. There’s a much more elaborate form of this in a special Intellectualize Rap forum on SomethingAwful.com, but the problem here is that if you had a deep enough knowledge of the songs being referenced, you probably wouldn’t find any of the Demotivator-style images funny. For the best laugh, you could try linkbait-tripe-posing-as-actual-content like EzineArticles.com’s Understanding Rap Music, which informs you straightaway – in self-unaware deadpan hilarity – that “Many rap songs are fast-paced. It can be tough to tell exactly what is being said“. Thank you, underpaid content-farm hack Val McQueen, for the insight. And then there’s the “Yahoo Answers” of rap lyrics, UnderstandRap.com, which takes easily-decipherable lyric snippets and deciphers them for you. Probably the only resource we found that was both informative and funny was Rapgenius’ ne feature The Rap Map, which offers extensively annotated Google Maps of rap. With a little tongue in cheek. Know of any good resources for useful or amusing rap facts? Read the rest of this entry »

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