In a surprise move today, Dissociated Press was acquired by the global news outlet CNN. Realizing that their only hope for competing with what one CNN executive referred to as The Glenn Beck Channel, the withering news network made the decision to buy outright the estimated million or so micromarket ranting liberal and libertarian blogs. The decision was made somewhat hastily after market research indicated that CNN had lost nearly 80% of its audience to NPR and weepy liberal superblogs like DailyKos and Huffington Post. By absorbing the entire blogosphere, CNN hopes to reclaim the “liberal media” moniker as their own. How Dissociated Press ended up as one of the victims of this maelstrom of quiet takeovers is beyond us, but we’re happy to get the $250.00 check; that’s more than we made the entire first quarter of this year in Google Ads revenue! No word yet on whether we still have jobs, and if we do whether we can still swear like sailors in headlines or not, but we look forward to marching orders from our new media overlords. Plus, Robin Meade is hot.

In case you missed it, this was our April Fools gag for 2010. Last year’s gag didn’t go over so well with some people so we thought we’d take a lighter approach. Here’s a screen grab of the site for the day: