I think this is how they celebrate Mardi Gras in Hamtramck, MI

Today is Presidents Day, which is a good example of our government at work. If you’re familiar with the details of the holiday, you know that it’s not actually in honor of multiple presidents, it’s just to honor Washington’s Birthday. But it never falls on Washington’s birthday, and kind of steals some thunder from Lincoln’s birthday. All so bankers and legislators can get a three day weekend, presumably to dream up more ways to destroy the free market. This week we also have Fat Tuesday, which you might think would be the annual holiday for Americans to celebrate how fat they are, but is in fact another example of Americans taking a Christian tradition and keeping all the fun bits while discarding the hard parts. Yes, a lot of Americans will feast and bare their breasts for beads this week, but few will then give up something for Lent. Most of us think of Brazil’s Carnival, Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and decadent sensuality when we think of Fat Tuesday, but not here in the northern climes. Nope, here it’s all about…jelly doughnuts. Yes, this week we have Paczki Day, the decidedly unsexy day that everyone in places like Detroit and Chicago line up for deep fried and flattened dough filled with jam. Way to party, midwesterners! According to Wikipedia, it’s pronounced , which I’m sure doesn’t help much. Just say “poonch-key”. Growing up in Michigan (but in an isolated bastion of weepy liberal intellectuals surrounded by cornfields) as I did, I spent most of my early life confusing Paczkis with Pastys, which I thought was spelled “pasties”. Which would’ve made for a better headline for this piece. But I’ve since learned that Pastys are the main course, and Paczkis are for dessert. This being the midwest, the other courses are of course comprised of something else deep-fried or made mostly of cheese or butter, washed down with a Budweiser. Fat Tuesday indeed.