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Help Pick The Dissociated Press Best Of 2009

Topics: Best Of 2009 | 4 CommentsBy admin | December 29, 2009

Your input will have a direct impact on whether we keep going in 2010.

We shared some thoughts on the whole idea of “Best of 2009″ lists recently, but you know what I think the best thing about 2009 was? You. You may not realize it, but you’re pretty special. You’re one of about 20,000 people that visit this site each month. With some rough math, assuming a global population of 6 billion people, that means you’re about 1 in 300,000. Okay, so you’re not a one-in-a-million kind of person, but you’re pretty special to me. Because without visitors, a web site is pretty useless. So thanks for visiting. If you happen to be one of those who visits regularly, you may have noticed I’ve offered up something interesting for you to look at or read every day since June 11, 2008. And only one of those somethings was a lame, self-referential “blog post”, and even then I feel like we kept things amusing. So. Since you’re so special, I’m going to ask a little favor, one that may benefit both of us. I generate all the content for this site alone, and although I get a fair amount of feedback via e-mail, thankfully there’s  little in the way of user comments. I say “thankfully”, because if there were, then I’d have to spend time moderating them. However, I now NEED your comments; I’m about to make a decision to either invest considerable energy in developing the site further, or let it languish tragically in the linkrot wastelands of the web as I pursue other projects I’m working on. So here’s the favor: browse back through the year’s posts (an easy way to do that would be to view the 2009 posts) and help us pick a best of 2009. Then post a comment referencing your pick, or use the contact page if you don’t feel like commenting. We (I often use the “royal we”, but in this case I mean “I and a few friends”) have picked a few highlights ourselves to get you going. You’ll find them below. Thanks in advance for your help, because your input (or lack thereof) will have an immediate and direct impact on what happens with the site in 2010.

Generation Triple Xmas Kills Santa

In December, we did our best to put a different spin on the holidays with lots of offbeat holiday shopping tips and insightful pieces like tips on how to be an elf or A Yidiot’s Guide to Hanukkah. We also took a different look at holiday pop media with pieces like Rudolph: The Nightmare Before The Nightmare Before Christmas, in which we took a look under the hood of a holiday classic, and Generation Triple Xmas – Holiday Songs For Millennials, in which we explored how the Millenials have killed Santa Claus.

I Need a Bailout and a Bonus, How ’bout You?

A recurring theme for us in 2009 was a little ire at the Dickensian spectre of bankers who managed to pull down bonuses for running the global economy into the ground while the nation endures record unemployment and people like me live on Ramen. Well, it takes a pillage, as they say. But we were still driven to ask the question: Are We All Just Marks In The Hugest Hustle In History?  And ponder how Hank Paulson could have the gall to market a book about his heroic deeds while the dust from a crumbling industry was still thick in the air. And speaking of “Best Of” lists, it was interesting that the only nomination we got for Best Politician of 2009 was from a Russian visitor. So we fretted about this a lot in 2009, but do YOU want to know what happened to all the bailout money? Too bad .

We Trembled With Anticipointment

I’m personally sort of a slang fetishist, so throughout the year we took an occasional look at how Americans talk. In January, we suggested you stop being such a Leafpeeping Masshole, and as the year moved on we explained why I was late for my man date, offered tips on how to talk like a hillbilly, and why it’s okay to swear, dangit.

Cutting Remarks & Carnie Knowledge

In the lifestyle department, we introduced you to people you’ll probably never meet (or want to) like Gore Lolitas and Juggalo Furries, offered up some tips on running away to join the circus, and explained why it’s okay to take cuts at the body-mod shop.

Stop Hugging That Tree & DO SOMETHING About It, Will Ya?

We care about the earth as much as the next person, but have a firm belief that standing around weeping and hugging trees won’t fix much, so we try to put a thought-provoking spin on Clean & Green when we can. So we ask the important questions, like If Beef Is So Bad For Us, Why Are Aliens Always Stealing Our Cows? and is the green car of the future a boat? We also point out that a million-dollar gas hog may be the fastest road to a greener energy.

You Never Talk To Our Evil Superbrain

One little disappointment this year was that virtually no-one took the time to talk to our artificial intelligence. Not even Russian flirtbots. But all in all, we’ve had fun this year. As I said at the top, your feedback on the year will have an immediate impact on how we move ahead. I hope we get enough positive feedback to bring it back in 2010. This has been a blast! It just isn’t paying its own bills yet, let alone making money.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Kevin Wisney-Leonard on 12.30.09 11:53 am

    I have personally enjoyed all of your posts…. even the “lame self-referential blog post”. I will be personally very disappointed and wit deprived if you decide to shutter this.

  2. Posted by Beatrix on 01.02.10 12:44 am

    A couple of my personal faves were Five Effective Habits Of Highly Annoying People http://dissociatedpress.com/2009/04/five-most-effective-habits-of-annoying-people and your “I dropped food should i eat it” chart http://dissociatedpress.com/2008/12/do-you-need-a-flowchart

    DON’T STOP! I always find stuff here a month before I see it anywhere else! It makes me seem hip on a regular basis ;)

  3. Posted by admin on 01.02.10 1:03 am

    Thanks for the positive feedback you two. But if people got paid for being hip and witty, people like Jon Stewart would be rich and…oh. Never mind.

    But seriously, I had commitments from a couple of friends and associates to do some writing so I could do some marketing, but no-one has stepped up yet. I’m just getting too busy to maintain an edge and bump things up to a level of quality that I’d be more pleased with… so we shall see. I’m also a little surprised by the level of feedback I’ve gotten; 20,000 unique visitors monthly isn’t really a lot, but I thought I might hear from a few more people.

  4. Posted by jeannie beanie on 01.07.10 9:57 am

    hey there…. personally I think you are brilliant. I have told you that before, so what kinda new news is that?
    anyway. this is a great site. you are one clever man. I want you to get that clever mind of yours where ever it will give you the most pleasure and global possibilities and help make the world a better place. so.. if that means moving along and let your/us diehard fans of yours follow else where… so be it.
    What does Ian need to do? we will follow