When I first saw Pieter Hugo’s photos of the Hyena Men of Nigeria , I instantly knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a Hyena Man of Nigeria. The problem being, of course, that I was neither Nigerian, nor had a Hyena. Nor was I bad-ass enough to walk around with a Hyena on a heavy-duty chain, and convince a Baboon to wear a Beckham jersey every day. Still, as an animal lover I’ve always had a childish fantasy of having a few especially beastly animals as pets. In my beastmaster vision, I have a falcon on my shoulder while I walk my black panther and white wolf, who happen to all be best of pals. Alas, as anyone who’s watched Grizzly Man knows, these attempts at bridging the gap between man and the wilder members of the animal kingdom don’t always turn out so well. That doesn’t seem to stop a lot of people from making the absurd decision to try, leading to “tragedies” like the Siegfried and Roy mauling, the occasional Elephant rampage (that video’s not for the faint-of-heart), and the random nature show host’s death. I’ll probably never live out my little dream; the fact is that trying to turn wild animals into pets generally ends in either the tragic death or injury of a human, or the tragic neglect of the animal. If you really want an exotic pet, there’s always Photoshop:

The “Monkowlephat” from the Worth1000.com Photoshop contest Chimaera 9