This Guy Still Wins My Green Living Award

I have a confession to make. This week I threw away two tuna cans, an egg carton, and a fruit juice bottle. In the trash. Not the recycle bin. The trash. I wouldn’t be confessing my sins like this, except I live in a small, allegedly progressive college town full of liberal elitist tree huggers and hippy co-op types. When I walked down the street this week, I carried a silent shame, convinced that they all somehow knew what I had done. Then I suddenly remembered that the liberal elitist treehuggers all drove BMW’s when they went to dinner at restaurants where they wasted half the meals, and if they did ask for a take out box, it was styrofoam, and they forgot and left it on the table ’cause they didn’t drink enough unfairly-traded coffee or evil Fiji water after getting drunk on wine that’s destroying the planet. So I felt better, but remained curious. Just how green am I really? Well, because of my poverty-inspired market-to-table and mass-transit oriented lifestyle, pretty darn green; just check out that crazy score below. So how green are you? Take some quizzes and find out. After reviewing about a dozen annoying Flash-based quizzes like this British Council How Green Are You quiz that seemed geared more toward making the publishers feel green about themselves, I found two that seemed to actually help you assess how green you are. The Low Impact Living Index (my results are below, a 23, thank you very much) asks some smart questions, and gives some fairly useful answers at the end. The Airhead Calculator was a little less detailed, but I discovered that I emitted 849 pounds of air pollution last month. Hmm. I had no idea I was so, um, emissive. So how green are you?