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How To Sell Your Soul (Or Put It In Cold Storage Until You’re Ready)

Topics: Popular Media | Add A CommentBy admin | July 12, 2009

A funny thing happened on the way to selling my soul. I found a trailer for the movie Cold Souls.

Be careful in your dealings with Satan.
He can be a real Dick sometimes.

With the state of the economy recently, it may have occurred to you to sell your soul to put an end to your financial woes. We were doing a little research along these lines to help you out when we ran across an interesting company that made us ask ourselves the question: why not just put it in cold storage until you decide? Unfortunately, it turned out upon further perusal that in spite of the fact that the company even has a Facebook page – which of course always lends a great deal of credibility to an organization’s brand – it is in fact itself the worst form of selling your soul (at least if you’re on a team assigned to marketing a product), a slightly botched viral marketing campaign for the movie Cold Souls, due for release in August. Actually the film looks promising, see a trailer here. But if you came here more interested in selling your soul than storing it, here are some quick guides to help you get on that road to hell. This page looks credible; it gets right to the point with red text on a black background, a “666″ in the URL, and a form you can fill out right away. This rambling guide, presented by the a member of the British Church of Satan , also looks promising. After rambling on for awhile about how to do it, it then suggests Satan doesn’t exist. Which, as we all know, is exactly how Satan works. They also provide a handy Amazon link to the Satanic Bible, like we just did. But oddly enough, the Weekly World News page on the topic had the most practical and to-the-point information, with reminders like “Remember to demand the life-extension clause“. And lastly, in the interest of maintaining the high journalistic standards of fair and balanced reporting established by organizations like Fox News, get a Christian point of view before signing anything. Happy selling!

If you don’t want to sell it, you might consider cold storage: