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Monday De-Motivators: The Final Edition

Topics: Editorial & Opinion | Add A CommentBy admin | January 19, 2009

You’ll have to find a way to be late for work on your own from now on…

It occurred to me after the feedback on last week’s Monday De-Motivators that not only was I not succeeding at making anybody late for work on Monday (most visitors are clicking on this stuff after 9pm), but I was getting ahead of the visitors that actually enjoy the games linked to. So this may be the last Monday De-Motivator for a while; as much as I take pride in creating a few Stack The Cats addicts (you know who you are), finding this stuff is exhausting, especially (as I’ve stressed repeatedly) if you don’t like computer games in the first place. It’s kind of like being in AA and having to taste bourbon for a living. For example: Sling Wars, though quite simple, quickly gave me a mild brain-ache. I got all the basic principles right away, but didn’t really feel like spending the time necessary to get a feel for the weapon. I also struggled with the idea that even though I chose to be a Native American, my only choices were to fight in Africa and Europe. Looking at the top scores was quite worrying, by the way. I’m pretty sure “El Turco” – who scored 2,147,483,647 -  is someone I probably don’t want to have lunch with. Domino Pressure is a little more my speed. Zero learning curve, immediate results. Though I’m still not clear on how or why a domino would smash a tomato. And GlobalPlayer actually looks kind of interesting, but it gave me a mild panic attack on the first go. My first job as a teenager was in warehousing, and it brought back some of the trauma of that. Now that I’ve steadied my breathing and had a cup of coffee, I might give it another try. And last up: I didn’t know there was a Stoneage Sam One, so I think Stoneage Sam Two: The Ice Age lacked a little of the intended “You loved it so much, we’ve done a sequel” feeling. It was however, quite an insight into a game designer’s mind to have to use a child and a piece of vine as a simple tool to advance the score.