The American Cancer Society needs a new PR firm. I had already had two cigarettes before I realized today was The Great American Smokeout. Well, it’s too late now. I’ll have to try some other time. But what’s the hurry, when more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette? Yes, dentists and doctors alike agree that cigarettes are pretty swell. Besides, I haven’t figured out yet why they taste so good. My challenge to you: give me three good reasons I should go against the medical advice of my 1950′s doctor. And make them funny; pictures of black lungs and stuff don’t work. And for those of you who actually might care if I quit, here’s another challenge: Donate $1,000.00, and I’ll quit for at least one year. For smaller donations, I’ll smoke one less pack per week for every $50.00 donated. And I’ll quit forever if you get me a date with Isabella Rossellini, Elina Lowensown , or Nastassja Kinski.