In spite of the fact that people seem to rely on the Internet a lot to answer questions, even disturbingly basic ones like where should I live? or what should I read next? or do vaginas seal up with disuse? The fact is, the real purpose of the Internet is to waste time. One good way to do this is by using one of the millions of sites that let you upload images and text to make signs that no-one thinks are funny except you. One of the originals was Demotivators (see my Serenity poster, left), but there are many, many more. Says-It.com has everything from church sign generators to self-cutting generators. If you really “heart” someone, there’s an I heart [whatever] site. Or maybe you’d like to put yourself on the cover of Time, or  customize a movie poster. Or do more personalized editing, like they offer at Pizap.  But what if you don’t have web access? I recently spent a lot of time in waiting rooms with no wireless available. Not to worry! I learned you can waste time without the Internet. Imagine…with only your hands, you could stage a shadow puppet show with music (something Cartman of South Park understands very well). And here are a few things you probably shouldn’t do with your hands (and no, that doesn’t link to a “dating Miss Michigan” reference).