This painting always makes me think of Eddie Izzard’s Do You Have A Flag routine.

Thanks to the three-day weekend many people will enjoy because of the fact that Monday is Columbus Day, this topic is bound to come up in conversation, so we thought we’d help you out. First, don’t bother Googling it. You’ll get several pages of rambling articles and opinions. This is one of those times that WolframAlpha came in handy. See for yourself (image below). Yup. Asians walked across Beringia way before any Europeans made the trip by boat. How simple was that? So, now that we know that the first humans arrived in North America around 14,000 years ago, we can move on to other interesting questions, like “well, who was second then?” and “why the heck do they call it America, anyway?” and “so why do we keep celebrating Columbus Day, now that the facts are in?” In order, the answers are the Vikings, no-one is sure but we assume it’s because of Amerigo Vespucci, and that last question? Probably because it would take congress years to pass the legislation to abolish Columbus Day even if public sentiment were strong enough. Which it doesn’t appear to be, at least according to this 2009 Rasmussen poll. Personally, I think a poll like that may be skewed by people not wanting to lose a three day weekend, and that we should at least celebrate something different, like “Jesus Christ When Did They Start Advertising Christmas BEFORE Halloween?” day. And although I lightheartedly shared some of my thoughts on this topic last year, I really do believe we should do away with the tradition, partly for simple historical accuracy, but more importantly because 1/8 of me is descended from the people that ended up being called “Indians” and were then nearly annihilated by those who followed in Columbus’ brutal footsteps. If you’re also of a mind that we could do away with Columbus Day, I don’t know what to tell you. The most organized group addressing the topic – Reconsider Columbus Day – didn’t update their site this year. Let us know if you know of anything besides this petition. Last year’s video below.

Eddie Izzard’s “Do You Have A Flag?”