Archive for 2009

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Monday Demotivators – The Reality Check Edition

[ Comments Off ]Posted on April 27, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Amusing Flash games to pass the time in the unemployment line.

We thought we’d start with a little reality check for this week’s Monday Demotivators. Our usual Flash-based fun turns to horror when you view this animated map from Slate.com. Hit the play button, and watch the jobs in America disappear. It’s either like watching the 2000 election unfold, or a nuclear strike map. Scary. Equally scary for some will be the Virtual Age Analyzer. Honestly answer the questions, and discover your life expectancy. My “virtual age” was two years lower than the real thing, and I’m gonna live to the age of 78. Phew. Now that we’ve instilled you with a little anxiety, let’s get back to the fun you probably came here for. First up, the annoyingly cute JellyJumper, brought to you by Logitech. I don’t know if anyone will buy a keyboard because of it, but maybe they’re banking on the idea that you’ll smash your existing keyboard in frustration. They also have a multiplayer version called JellyBattle. For those of you who fancy a game of golf this time of year, try Golfman. Although I enjoy neither golf nor Flash games, I was amused for a couple of minutes, just long enough to figure out I suck at on line golf as much as the real-life version. If you’re feeling a bit more narcissistic or need to jazz up your Facebook profile pic, someone has rounded up 28 web sites that let you upload and edit your photo. The site’s in Turkish, but a picture, as they say, speaks a thousand words. This time they’re just not in your native tongue. And as a peg that never seems to fit a hole, I’m convinced Flash Pegs will ruin your day. Its utter simplicity fools you into thinking you’ll ever advance to the next level. That should keep you busy through Tuesday. Happy Monday!

Bored This Sunday? Why Not Go To Church?

[ Comments Off ]Posted on April 26, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Even you faithless hordes should have SOMETHING to get you out of bed on Sunday.

After finally watching Religulousthe other night with a friend, I had yet another idol de-mystified. I always had a little respect for Bill Maher, but in my opinion, he not only missed the mark in a number of ways with the film, he also revealed himself to be a condescending redneck-basher who needs to talk to his therapist more about his religious upbringing. But I’m neither a film critic nor a psychologist. I’m just here to help you kill some time. We used to go to church on Sunday for that reason, but now we have cable TV, Facebook, and Wii. So my objective to today is to get you to go to church. Which can be difficult, with all you non-adherents running about. I say “non-adherents” because you silly atheists reading this comprise less than one half of one percent of the world’s population, but the term “non-adherents” bumps the number of faithless hordes up to around 13% and helps make you relevant. So anyway, lets start with a church that comes close to the mind-numbing self-contradictions of the more established religions, The Church of the SubGenius. All I’m going to say is “Bob”. Remember: Praise His Sweet Name — OR BURN IN SLACKLESSNESS TRYING NOT TO! You’ll notice, by the way, that there’s a Google search box at the top of that site. Why? Because Google Is God. C’mon. You had sort of suspected it, hadn’t you? All this time we were worried that the Internet would someday become self-aware, and it turns out it was God all along. And lastly, we assume (since you apparently spend enough time on the Internet to be reading this tripe) that you’re familiar with both the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Church of Jedi, so we’ll spare you more commentary. Do you know of any amusing alternatives to mainstream religion? I mean, besides the ones routinely lampooned on South Park?

Sofa Surfing USA

[ Comments Off ]Posted on April 25, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

I’m working on a project that I hope to spin into a book and/or documentary. Do you have a sofa I can sleep on for 3-4 days?

I’m not sure if it’s the recent economic situation, or my general ongoing distaste for reality, but lately I keep fantasizing about becoming a freegan (even job sites are getting hip to this) or a hobo. I’ve actually discussed going to live this way as  part of a documentary project, but ironically one of  the parties most interested in that idea works for a TV station that’s being shut down because of the tough economic times! The fact is that if I chose to live on the road, I’d probably start whining about the coffee and laundry facilities after about three weeks. So lately, I’ve been thinking more along the lines of “sofa surfing”. And apparently I’m not the only one. CouchSurfing.com, for instance, has 1,084,323 “surfers”, and claims to be “Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time”. Noble of them. Also with the aim of creating a better world (although they don’t specifically promise you the couch) HospitalityClub.org operates along similar lines. And if you’re in a band, there’s BetterThanTheVan.com, which at a quick glance looks more like “Stay-At-My-Place-Im-A-Desperate-Groupie.com”. Personally, that all looks a little too structured for me. I’m just gonna put it out there: can you put me up for 3-4 days and show me your city? If I can get a solid string of commitments, I’m writing a book and pursuing a publishing deal. And if I don’t get a publishing deal, I’ll self-publish through Blurb.com or something. To show a little commitment, I actually just bought the domain SofaSurfingUSA.com. If you’re interested in my little project, just contact me. Surfs Up!

R.I.P. GeoCities

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on April 24, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Honey, the Beanie Babies web ring won’t load today!

Before MySpace, before Facebook, there was GeoCities. I was surprised, when talking to Internet-addicted friends yesterday, at how few of them remembered the original web-based community for creating your own “home page”. Remember when the average person felt the terms “home page” and “web site” were interchangeable? What I had forgotten was what Yahoo paid for Geocities back in 1999: 3 billion dollars. That’s a billion dollars more than Google paid for YouTube, and it was ten years ago! You don’t need to be a web developer to realize it was the animated glitter unicorns and dancing Homer Simpson graphics that were part of Geocities demise. But in spite of how of easy it was to poke fun at Geocities, the fact is that the biggest difference between it and MySpace was, frankly, marketing. R.I.P., Geocities

Viva La Jaydiohead – Jay-Z Meets Radiohead

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on April 23, 2009 by admin in Music

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

DJ Minty Fresh Beats’ Amazingly Listenable Mashup of Jay-Z & Radiohead

What’s black and white and comes in rainbows? A pair of brilliant mashups of Jay Z’s Black Album. If you missed Danger Mouse’s 2004 Mashup The Grey Album, try to get a copy (Illegal-Art.org has a torrent link). It’s a masterful mashup of The Beatles’ White Album and Jay-Z’s Black Album. The legal fuss that EMI created  at the time probably only served to promote the release, as did the clever Grey Video that repurposed original black-and-white footage from a 60′s Beatles concert. Since then there have been a few other attempts at mashing up Jay-Z, like OJAYZIS (Jay-Z vs Oasis)  or Viva la Hova, a mash with Coldplay’s Viva la Vida. But none have been quite as listenable as this year’s Jaydiohead produced by NYC DJ Minty Fresh Beats (who’s apparently since re-branded himself as Max Tannone). Hail to the Thief!

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