Archive for August, 2009
| Newer Entries »What Are The Odds?
[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 5, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009Although 72.3% of all statistics mentioned in casual conversation are inaccurate, I’d say the odds of you commenting on this are less than 1 in 30,000.
I’ve always said that 72.3% of all statistics mentioned in casual conversation are inaccurate. I’ve also always felt that paying attention to statistics is silly, because in spite of all the sophisticated math, there’s no way to tell when and where that 1 in 10 million chance of being attacked by a shark will occur. For instance, In 1985 NASA estimated that the probability of an accident occurring with the space shuttle was 1 in 100,000. But the 25th shuttle launch exploded after take-off, and the 113rd mission exploded on re-entry. Does that mean the next 198,998 missions will be accident-free? I just wasted an hour of my life at NationMaster.com, which has an amazing array of facts and statistics, and cross-references them in a way that I’d say creates a 33.3% chance that you’ll spend at least ten minutes on the site. Like, did you know that Russia has almost twice as many judges and magistrates as the United States, while the United States has 8 times as much crime? Or that America has the most McDonalds restaurants per capita, AND the highest number of obesity-related deaths? Coincidence? You decide. The NSC has some dry but interesting stats too. It’s hard to Read the rest of this entry »
So You Wanna Be A Rock & Roll Star – Part II
[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 4, 2009 by admin in Music
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009Well, since your music probably sucks, you might as well plan on getting naked.
 If you play your cards right, you could end up as happily successful as this fellow! |
If you really have an interest in succeeding in pop music, there’s one way to avoid having to do many of the things we’ll suggest in this piece: be an absolutely f***ing brilliant songwriter with solid musicians to play your broadly accessible music. Then some top-notch management will find you, and your only battle after that will be not getting screwed by all the deals you’ll be offered. Since you almost certainly don’t have that particular set of attributes in your possession, ask yourself a few more questions about why you’re seeking to promote your music: Do you want to make a living at it? Are you convinced for some reason the world just needs to be exposed to your genius? Do you think you might have some reasonably marketable music, and wouldn’t mind getting paid for it? Have you been hitting the crack pipe pretty hard again? The fact is that even the established music industry has one of the highest failure rates of almost any business, and you’ll be entering one of the “noisiest” markets on the planet, alas, with a “naked” product. For some interesting thoughts about the new marketplace, check out Digital Music Can’t Be Marketed, which points out that you can’t really package and Read the rest of this entry »
Feeling Down? Think Positive!
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on August 3, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Monday, August 3rd, 2009But research suggests you may be wasting your time. Maybe you should just go shopping.
Probably one of the dumbest things you can say to someone when they’re unhappy is “Cheer Up!”. So why would we think it would work on ourselves? It only takes a little common sense to realize that the reason Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley character was so funny, or that Demotivator posters became so popular, is that we instinctively know that telling ourselves to feel good isn’t necessarily going to make it so. In spite of millions of copies of books like The Power of Positive Thinking
How To Be A Robo-Dork
[ Comments Off ]Posted on August 2, 2009 by admin in Technology
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009It seems the Segway was just a segue into even dorkier means of personal transport
This probably wouldn’t look so cool if it weren’t shot in Paris with a Daft Punk soundtrack. |
I rely a lot on a rather sophisticated means of bipedal transport. It’s called WALKING. I have some issues with those clunky combustion-engine monstrosities that many of you drive, so I’m always intrigued with unique new methods for personal transport. The Segway
August Holidays: A Time To Honor Clowns, Friends, and Breasts
[ 2 Comments ]Posted on August 1, 2009 by admin in Holidays
Saturday, August 1st, 2009Well, maybe not all at the same time.
 Even John Wayne Gacy Loves Clown Week! |
It’s somehow fitting that it was the U.S. Congress and Richard Nixon that were responsible for authorizing National Clown Week. It’s also not surprising that the entire Clown Week site is presented in Comic Sans. August is a little light on holidays steeped in deeper tradition, so be careful not to get confused that Friendship Day coincides with Clown Week and World Breastfeeding Week. Things could get peculiar. If you do happen to commit a serious faux pas because of this, you won’t have much time to remedy things; International Forgiveness Day is also on August 2. On a more serious note, Ramadan begins on August 22, so try to be a little respectful of your Muslim friends that observe the month of Ramadan in a more traditional fashion; when was the last time you fasted between sunrise and sunset for a month? Otherwise, aside from a lot of “Hallmark Holidays” and peculiarities like Lefthanders Day or National Underwear Day, August is marked only by a couple of tragic observances like Hiroshima Day and the creation of federal taxes.