Although I’m not too fond of either these days, in my sordid former life I always preferred recreational drugs to therapeutic ones. As something of an amateur drug expert as a result (thorough field work beats lab work any day!) I was always amused by the fact that the “legitimate” drug trade bombarded us with ads constantly while we were simultaneously told that other drugs are bad. Yes,  it seems there’s a legitimate drug for everything, and although lifestyle drugs are booming, the problem with a drug lifestyle is that it’s pretty hard to convey to a person who’s high that drugs are bad somehow. I think they’re finally getting the hang of it though. I might’ve been scared straight in my nightclubbing days if I’d seen this (slightly gory) ad at 4am, for instance. And although to this day I’d maintain that the worst thing about smoking weed is that you just sit around feeling like you’re doing something when you’re not, this ad might’ve brought me to that conclusion sooner. And it’s too bad the U.S. doesn’t have anything as hip as the U.K.’s Talk To Frank campaign, where you can meet Pablo, the Drug Mule Dog, Baggie, the talking cocaine bag, and Nostril, a rather unhappy orifice. Gotta go now, I just got an e-mail that says that on top of being overweight, anxious, and depressed, both my malfunctioning penis AND my breasts are too small…