As one of the early supporters of Mr Hope and Change, I have to confess that the last two years have been a real exercise in personal and spiritual growth for me, often inspired by politics. I’ve learned to accept that people can be even greedier and more irrational than I imagined, and that change doesn’t happen overnight. I’m usually cynical enough to read between the lines of the kind of talk the president served up on the campaign trail, but was still moved by his words and the upswell of hope that he inspired across America and around the world. Now, not so much. Mostly because he doesn’t come across as the same person I voted for in 2008. Strangely, all I really want from the president right now is for him to talk like he’s campaigning! I don’t expect that after the recently approved finance reform legislation takes the beating policy always takes moving through congress that it will fare any better than the health care bill did; Washington is just far too awash in the self-interest of the affluent elite that live and work there. So stop being so damned modulated and reasonable, will you Mr President? I don’t think we’re getting anywhere, and now Teabaggers are co-opting your brand. I have a friend who – when a street person asks him for change – actually uses the old line “change comes from within, brother“. I’m now learning a new truth in that. It’s certainly not likely to come out of Washington in a hurry. Maybe I need to learn that small change is a good thing too.

I’ve suspected for some time that all the world’s elected leaders are immediately replaced with robots upon taking office as part of a vast alien overlord conspiracy. Well, now I have evidence. If Disney’s Magic Kingdom can create creepy robot presidents from the Uncanny Valley like this (see Robama at 1:05) and this (see Robama at 1:20) for entertainment purposes, imagine what the dark ops people that created stealth bombers have up their sleeves. You’ll find this absurd (because that’s how an effective conspiracy works) but there is a war raging around the world, and the media is so tightly controlled that you won’t find out until it’s too late. That new Terminator movie? It’s just part of a massive PSYOP to prepare your mind for the inescapable fact that we will soon serve our robot masters. This report from a soldier in the field explains how Barack Obama’s robot army has taken over the world with their “million megawatt smiles and crushing fistbumps“. C’mon. A charming, impeccably articulate and intelligent president who exhibits almost zen-like serenity under pressure, is ridiculously handsome and is black? This had to be a dream come true. Or a robot invasion nightmare. You decide.

This Disney version is obviously an early prototype:

I mean, in relation to a more recent president. The consistently witty Cracked.com has an hilarious piece called The 6 Most Utterly Insane Attempts to Kill a US President. Raising again the eternal question: why is it that they only seem to get the good guys? Which of course reminds me of when it first looked like Barack Obama had a chance as the Democratic candidate.  I remember clearly the excitement of thinking “Wow. This is the country I remember growing up in. One that might actually think about electing a black president, or a candidate that offered hope instead of fear.” I also remember the thought that immediately followed, which was “Oh crap, get some security on the dude. They’re gonna try to kill him!” Well, if you believe what you read on sites with names like satansrapture.com (why are these sites always ALL IN CAPS?), Obama will, according to the Bible Codes, eventually be assassinated. This idea has been kicked around so much that back in March of this year there was even a rather sprawling exhibit at the Naomi Gates Gallery called The Assassination of Barack Obama, which, while implying the obvious, justified itself by claiming to explore the concept of character assassination as well. Let’s hope this bizarre part of the national psyche doesn’t express itself again; there are much better candidates. For getting shot, I mean.