Apparently, Beyonce isn’t the
first thing on Bill’s mind…

It probably says something about America that the real buzz about the presidential inauguration yesterday wasn’t driven by Obama’s inspiring vision for the next four years, but focused instead on the first inaugural use of the word “gay”, on who won the Clarkson & Beyonce smackdown, the Lupe Fiasco fiasco, and perhaps most importantly, on which politician sneaked the most peeks at Beyonce’s rear (see below). Frankly, I don’t see how their eyes were aiming so low, with President Obama’s Ceremonial Drone Flyover roaring overhead. We promise to get to the bottom of this issue below, butt first, some shopping tips and YouTubidity:

This Week’s Internet Shopping Tip: How To Spot Fake Jordans

Apparently, the genuine logo doesn’t have a butt crack:

Source

And, the week in….

Obligatory Kitten Helping With Laundry Video:

Those jumping skills will come in handy if that kitty ever runs into this guy. Sure, his howling at the moon is cute, but this little bastard steals other rodents’ homes, and eats tarantulas and Scorpions for breakfast:

The “A-Z of Epidemiology: germs from Anthrax to Zoonoses” is a cutely morbid bedtime book for kids in video form, which clearly owes a lot to Edward Gorey’s classic The Gashlycrumb Tinies:

For the record, my personal favorite from the The Gashlycrumb Tinies has always been Neville:

Accidental Inauguration Photobombs

And now, let’s end with the butt talk you’ve all been waiting for. In spite of Justin Bieber’s desperate attempts to get his ass looked at this weekend, the world’s eyes were fixed on Beyonce’s instead. Or at least the politicians’ eyes were:

Oh, so THAT’S what they mean by “the president’s vision”:

And like a good VP, Biden seems to share Obama’s view of things:

As always though, ol’ Bill seems to have his own ideas:

I was impressed by the “We Will Rebuild” message of President Obama’s speech last night. Although I’m hesitant to start plugging into the idea that we’re entering a catastrophic depression, it’s been on my mind that things are already pretty bad in certain spots around the country, and I’ve been wondering if there was something in particular I might do to help out. Ironically, while we have problems here at home, I’m currently busy working on a project with a Kenya/US non-profit called Amara Conservation. Kenya’s pretty proud of the Obama connection, but has some problems of their own! As fate would have it though, I received an e-mail today from Dan Michel of Feeding America, asking that we help spread the word that an astounding 1 in 8 Americans don’t have enough to eat. In the clip at left, President Obama talks about places like Elkhart, Indiana, where the 15% unemployment rate is contributing to a situation in which the food banks are running out of food. Yes, right here in the states. Visit feedingamerica.org to learn more, or feedingamericacentral.org to download media to help you spread the word. If you have any worthwhile causes to promote, drop us a line, we’ll be glad to do what we can.

Here’s the media resource link: www.feedingamericacentral.org

I feel pretty confident somehow that we’ll see fewer eggs being tossed around  in DC this January 20 than we did in 2001 (although strangely, you can buy a Russian-made innaugural egg pendant to commemorate the event). In spite of an expected record turnout, so far the greatest security concern seems to be whether or not there’ll be enough porta potties to go around. Like the old saying goes: If you have a party and this many people come, you better make sure they have some place to “go”. That’s why someone has already put together the handy guide Where To Pee in DC. For those of you who are lucky enough to have a ticket, a friendly reminder: no firearms, ammunition (real or simulated), or explosives are allowed. And on that note, unless you already do have a ticket, you probably won’t. Unless you have an extra $40,000 to throw around that is. Otherwise the only two hot news items regarding the inauguration seem to be which bible passage Obama will emphasize as he uses the Abe Lincoln bible to be sworn in, and how the hell Rick Warren got inauguration tickets.

…and still take time to vanquish his unworthy debate opponents!

If you don’t have cable TV but for some ungodly reason you still feel like watching the Academy Awards of Politics (often otherwise referred to as the Democratic National Convention), you can now do so in HD, right on your computer. That is, if you feel like seeing Ted Kennedy’s bloated head rendered in high-definition, and you feel like installing the Microsoft Silverlight Plugin, and you feel like installing the Move Media Player, then you’re all set. If you have better things to do, like maybe learning more about what Vice-President Joe is about, you might want to check out Mashable.com’s 9 Web Tools For Learning About Joe Biden, which has links to everything Joe . Except their link to OnTheIssues.org, which is bunged. Here’s the proper link to his OnTheIssues.org page.

…because, you know, Obama was against the FISA bill.