Monday Morning Meticulously Mapped Out?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on June 8, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, June 8th, 2009Axis if we care. Our plot to disrupt the day you’ve carefully charted for yourself involves graphic depictions of death, birth, crime, and…Wikipedia?
Do you ever feel overwhelmed with the information and sensory input at your disposal these days? We’re here to help. Overwhelm you more, that is. In our ongoing plot to derail your Monday morning, we’ve touched on fleshmaps, facebook maps, why Ian can’t get a date maps, infographics, flowcharts , and million dollar graphics. So you’d think we’d be done, right? But no. Here we have 50 more examples of ways to visualize data, brought to you by WebDesignerDepot.com. Of all of the examples presented, I probably found TuneGlue the most useful; it visually cross-references musical artists and their work in a very simple interface, with Amazon links. By the way, a lot of those tools in that link made pretty graphs, but were in most cases visualizing things normal people don’t care about. And there’s definitely a flaw in the plan when a graphic actually makes it harder to understand complex information rather than easier. So check out 5,000 years of Middle East history in 90 seconds, or BreathingEarth, where you can watch deaths and births in real time and ponder your emissions. Even better, WorldClock displays everything from oil consumption to US crime stats in real time. And lastly, have you ever wondered what Wikipedia would look like if it were in book form?
If You’re So Rich, Why Aren’t You Smart?
[ 5 Comments ]Posted on June 1, 2009 by admin in Lifestyle & Culture
Monday, June 1st, 2009Science finally explains why chimpanzees are rarely millionaires.
I’m often accused of being intelligent, but trust me, nothing could be further from the truth. I’m clever and persistent, but frankly, so are raccoons. However I am smart enough, for instance, to not waste a lot of time taking Facebook quizzes that tell me what Jesus thinks of me, or whether or not I’m a potato. First of all, I’m just not that narcissistic; secondly, I KNOW I’m not a potato; and perhaps most importantly: don’t you people realize that the NSA scrapes Facebook data daily to build your citizen profile?!? But back to the original question. This week’s Monday morning time-waster is devoted to intelligence testing and wealth, rather than dumb Flash games. Because until I manage to monetize the process of finding all those silly little games to make you late for work on Monday, you’ll just have to go find your own. So. How smart are you? Well, apparently, not as smart as a chimp. But don’t worry. In spite of books that suggest the opposite
It’s Monday. So Let’s Get On The Ball, Okay?
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on May 18, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, May 18th, 2009This week, our Monday morning time-wasters get a new spin. Instead of trying to make you late for work, we’re here to help you get on the ball.
If you’ve come here for our regular monday morning time wasters, get ready, we’re throwing you a little curve ball. Although our intent is usually to prevent you from being on the ball on Monday, today we’ve mustered up the balls to do exactly the opposite. First, do you even know what a curve ball IS? This amazing illusion demonstrates why they appear to break so hard from the batter’s point of view. It also might make you a little dizzy if you haven’t had your coffee yet. As will the game Curve Ball, which is kind of like playing Pong in The Matrix. The game Dyson Ball kind of sucks, but what would you expect from a vaccuum cleaner promo? At least James Dyson had the balls to manufacture a new kind of vaccuum. Avoiding blue balls is the objective of this game, and just to show that we have a pair, here’s Red Ball, a simple physics-based game which, for no reason we can ascertain, “moos” when you fail. Don’t be cowed. We made it to level 11 pretty easily, if you want the password (just hover here). We’ve probably driven most readers away with that last round of puns by now, but please, sphere not. Before you get your balls in a sling with Sling Jumper, you can draw the line with Scriball. And you’ll probably never get to the bottom of things with GyroBall, but if you do, you can bounce back with Bouncy-Ball. See you round!
Purrfectly Good Reasons To Miss Your Monday Meatings
[ 1 Comment ]Posted on May 4, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, May 4th, 2009Our usual Monday morning Flash game distractions, with an especially daunting challenge for our American readers: GEOGRAPHY.
Our Monday Demotivators have previously explored the mystery of why there are so many Flash games in which you do mean things to helpless animals, but you seem to enjoy this stuff so much we’re back with more. First up: Meowcenaries. Like so many of these games, it takes so long to load you’ll be ready to kill by the time it’s ready to play. This game is a little different, by the way, in that the violence is all cat-on-cat. If you’re looking for completely pointless human-inflicted cruelty, you’ll have to go shoot a puppy or something. Don’t get the wrong impression here though, I personally love animals. That’s why this week we’ll give equal time to PETA’s Cooking Mama Kills Animals game, designed to protest Nintendo’s Cooking Mama
Monday De-Motivators: The Final Edition
[ Comments Off ]Posted on January 19, 2009 by admin in Editorial & Opinion
Monday, January 19th, 2009You’ll have to find a way to be late for work on your own from now on…
It occurred to me after the feedback on last week’s Monday De-Motivators that not only was I not succeeding at making anybody late for work on Monday (most visitors are clicking on this stuff after 9pm), but I was getting ahead of the visitors that actually enjoy the games linked to. So this may be the last Monday De-Motivator for a while; as much as I take pride in creating a few Stack The Cats addicts (you know who you are), finding this stuff is exhausting, especially (as I’ve stressed repeatedly) if you don’t like computer games in the first place. It’s kind of like being in AA and having to taste bourbon for a living. For example: Sling Wars, though quite simple, quickly gave me a mild brain-ache. I got all the basic principles right away, but didn’t really feel like spending the time necessary to get a feel for the weapon. I also struggled with the idea that even though I chose to be a Native American, my only choices were to fight in Africa and Europe. Looking at the top scores was quite worrying, by the way. I’m pretty sure “El Turco” – who scored 2,147,483,647 - is someone I probably don’t want to have lunch with. Domino Pressure is a little more my speed. Zero learning curve, immediate results. Though I’m still not clear on how or why a domino would smash a tomato. And GlobalPlayer actually looks kind of interesting, but it gave me a mild panic attack on the first go. My first job as a teenager was in warehousing, and it brought back some of the trauma of that. Now that I’ve steadied my breathing and had a cup of coffee, I might give it another try. And last up: I didn’t know there was a Stoneage Sam One, so I think Stoneage Sam Two: The Ice Age lacked a little of the intended “You loved it so much, we’ve done a sequel” feeling. It was however, quite an insight into a game designer’s mind to have to use a child and a piece of vine as a simple tool to advance the score.