| Newer Entries »

Microsoft & Music – A Remix We Don’t Need

[ 3 Comments ]Posted on July 15, 2009 by admin in Music

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Why is Microsoft the last thing I think of when I think of music?

You’re sitting at your computer listening to your favorite song, and suddenly your system freezes, an error box pops up saying that the “Bing Streaming Music Player” is not responding, and the music gets stuck in annoying loop. Which of course, you might not even notice, if you were playing Vanilla Ice’s ripoff of Under Pressure (we would’ve embedded those clips but ASSCAP is suing people for doing that lately). In any case, this is what I imagine happening regularly if Microsoft does in fact launch their streaming music service later this month. Remember how Microsoft’s first big media partner RealPlayer (which has actually won awards for how bad it is) used to not only try to spy on you obsessively, but would always crash while doing so? Remember the Zune launch and all its software problems? Personally, I don’t even use iTunes; I refuse to download a 72MB piece of software just so I can buy some music. I typically buy from Amazon, or if it’s an indy release, sites like CDBaby , DigStation, or Amie Street. And for streaming music, Pandora (in spite of their recent legal problems) is working just fine. Microsoft and music just don’t mix, in my opinion. Fortunately, there are plenty of other resources; here are eighteen to keep you busy. Where do you get most of your music?

Masturbatory Muzak & Pole Dancer Video Tutorials

[ 1 Comment ]Posted on January 14, 2009 by admin in Popular Media

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

The Death Of Irony Through Self-Produced Video

The video at left, an actual promotional video for Microsoft’s new product Songsmith, brilliantly and comically embodies a theory of mine. A long time ago I suggested that if plotted on a graph, the quality of available literature would follow a curve exactly inverse to the proliferation of literacy and the accessibility of desktop publishing tools. I think a random sampling of the shelves of any chain bookstore bears out my theory (as does the mere existence of books like Bright Shiny Morning). However, I never exactly envisioned the same thing occurring with audio and video. The Songsmith promo kills two birds with one stone. Not only was the video obviously produced with high-quality equipment by people who have no sense of the tone of what they’re producing, it’s promoting a product that allows people who have virtually no musical talent to create music with virtually zero substance or soul. It’s like a home movie about making your own elevator music, except there’s no home, and no elevator! I ran across this video while browsing VideoGum.com today and it suddenly hit me how much video there is on the web that’s relatively well-shot, has some kind of serious intention, fails with almost epic humor, and is totally devoid of an awareness of its own irony. That’s why I’m left with no choice. I’m going to start a review site devoted exclusively to pole dancer tutorial videos.

Bill Gates’ Screen Goes Blue Today

[ Comments Off ]Posted on June 27, 2008 by admin in Technology

Friday, June 27th, 2008

So long Bill. Hope you found a decent crack of Final Cut for your personal editing needs.

The rich man we used to love to hate, Bill Gates, is leaving Microsoft today. Although I’ve often cursed Bill for the daily headache otherwise known as Microsoft Windows, I got a little reminder that the the Indians are sometimes more responsible for things than the Chiefs. Check out this e-mail, wherein Bill chews his staff a new one over the frustrations he experienced trying to download Windows MovieMaker. My favorite bit is probably where he says: “So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying – where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist? So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated”. So long Bill, I’ll always remember you as the nerdy guy who got busted for speeding (see mugshot, left). Keep up the (presumably) good foundation work, and if you ever need someone to watch the house, just let me know.

Yahoo Google Partnership: Another Nail In the Search Coffin

[ Comments Off ]Posted on June 12, 2008 by admin in Technology

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

After the Yahoo/Microsoft Failure, a Yahoo/Google deal?

Wow. The possibility of Microsoft and Yahoo teaming up was scary enough, but the new Yahoo/Google deal that’s hitting the business press today doesn’t seem like much of an improvement on the surface, except it’s not a full-blown acquisition. We’ve come a long way since those college boys created Google on those taxpayer-supported servers at Stanford, promising never to go public before their initial IPO a year later… Read the rest of this entry »

| Newer Entries »